Re: Re: Camping, a Grannie’s Gravy story – 806 words, including recipe

Home Forums Critique Central Poetry Removed Re: Re: Camping, a Grannie’s Gravy story – 806 words, including recipe

#349325

j1midnight
Participant

I agree with John. I’d cut the first part, but try to incorporate it within the second. WATCH THE TENSES. They bounce back and forth sometimes within the same paragraph. Question: “I once got stuck on top of Holston Mountain in a snow storm and was alone for about eight hours.” Were you in a cave? A car? Sitting on the side of the mountain? In a cabin? How were you stuck? What caused you to be stuck? Don’t be afraid to give details. Even those who know your background may need memory refreshers.