Re: Re: Bulls-eye 750 words

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#499288

Amitola
Participant

Nice beginning – it sucked me in. The use of the lady stripping to set him up for the hit is great — worked well and I didn’t see it coming.

I think Sherm would yell his, “anyone home?” as they first entered, and more strongly identifying themselves as police officers before coming into the apartment. Just a minor quibble.

I’d keep reading. :thumbs-up: