When Murray asked me to give a speech on this fine wedding here, with this fine cake (supposedly coconut cream), I didn’t hesitate because I knew I would do just fine. Would it be any other kind of speech, I’d be nervous right now, but with wedding speeches I am good. That is so because of two reasons. First of all, because I have always been good at improvising, so when Murray asked me to do the honor, it was my honor indeed so I sat down and promptly began to improvise this speech together. It is not done yet, but he only asked me two weeks ago, so I’m still in the “improvising” phase.
When I first met Murray, we were both working in the sales. Meaning, of course, that we were refilling shelves at a bigger store you all know from name, but some of us know by smell as well. I knew we would be good buddies from day one, but not because he was fine with any job, but because of two reasons. One: he wanted the night shift and Two: because he would have rather died than to put his shades down. Especially at night. In our spare time we hang out at the cash register, looking for customers to help with packing. It was a free service on our behalf, but after too many packs of cigs were gone missing, we were asked to stop. These charges were never proven, of course, but Murray still quit the job later on, despite the great career opportunities.
Well enough of the teen years though, because nearly ten years later we’re still buddies, and against all odds, you’ve managed to find the time to catch a girl who didn’t hear of your legacy. Congratulations Lynda.. Or was that Ashley..
No no, just kidding of course.
On a more serious note though, I’ve always envied him, because Murray is a catch. He’s got a great taste, he always spots the no-no girls, he can make great sushi, he’s got the best parties and the craziest drinking games. He also makes friends easy and he’s generous with the strippers.
Well I’ll go ahead and wrap it up because my snack senses are tingling, so let all my best wishes for you two be my bottom line here. On a last note though, Murray.. next time make it chocolate cake please, and Ashley if you need a best man for your next wedding, remember me, I really love your parents.
Here’s to the holly union, may it last longer than usual.