Ok. So first, I would like to start off by saying congratulations! And I, ahem, I, I think that you two really, really, I mean really, lucked out here.
We all know how crazy relationships can get. The ups and downs, the struggles, the infidelity, the break-ups and make-ups… the protective orders
No, I’m joking, I’m joking…ok, so not really! Like when Judy got drunk two nights ago and made out with my ex-boyfriend…Jules, I forgive you, babe.
Got it! No…no, don’t boo. Please don’t boo me. Don’t boo. I know this is her third marriage and all, but, after you get to know her, she’s such a…
she’s such a…oh, how can I keep this P.G., she’s such a lovely, lovely person when you’re not a) her friend b) her relative c) her neighbor
or practically anyone in a 12 inch vicinity of her. Oh, and don’t think you can loan this chick money…key word here, LOAN! That means you pay it back, dumbass!
Ok, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m gonna keep this P.G. folks…I promise.
Oscar, sweetie, you’re such a great catch too! Oscar is a great catch. This is the part where you all would say, “how great is he?”
He’s so great, that just last Saturday, he was sucking face with my kid sister on her graduation day from Brown Law School. Yep, just last Saturday, the perv!
You know I paid for her STD screening, right?
Ok, you know what? You know What? If someone else throws one more fudging thing up here, I’m gonna come down there and…
Oh, forget it….Judy, your rash is showing again, honey!