So here I am. A bridesmaid again. This time I got a promotion. Im now the maid of honor. This is the fifth hideous dress I had to plaster this fake smile onto my face and say that I love it. All this while wishing I would “accidentally” trip and ruin the damn thing. Who has canary yellow dresses in their wedding anyway? I sit here drumming my freshly manicured nails on the table before more and half listen to Doug, the best man delivering his speech. That same old B.S. about how they were meant to be together and hes so happy. Blah blah blah. I wish I had just said no. What was I thinking? I don’t even like her that much! With a nudge from my left, I realize that I have let myself get carried away in thoughts and I am late for my speech. Well, here I go. Holding my glass mid-air, I begin:
“Well, I’m not really one for public speaking, but seeing as how I said yes to Dina, I guess I really have no choice.”
A few chuckles from the guests. I wish someone would catch the bathroom on fire and get me out of this!
“Well, these guys have been together for what, six-seven years now? I would say it’s about time. But in all honesty, I never though I’d see this day come. Hell I figured I would’ve been married by now with two point two kids.”
More chuckles. ” But I guess that my dear old brother decided he would finally give into his warden. But I guess not everyone is lucky enough to find someone to take that plunge. I do wish you guys luck. I mean, what kind of sister would I be if i didn’t? So here’s to you.”
Everyone lifts their glasses. As I sneak out the back, I wander how many strange looks I’ll get when I walk into the bar with this ugly dress on.