You have some funny material and observations here, and some good lines.
That said, I’m put off, to say the least, by your insulting dismissal of Mammamaia and her comments – both because you said “Any other comments/opinions would be appreciated” (apparently you didn’t really mean it?) and because, in my opinion, Mammamaia raises a number of valid points about the material you posted. Without going through it line by line, let me say that, in general, it would require considerable rewriting in order to be publishable, if that’s what you’re interested in. At least that’s my opinion. If you’re serious about improving your writing, then you may need to listen to some advice and criticism as part of that process.