To continue what updog stated … there’s no main character, no one who learns a truth about life, so this is not a short story. It’s a sketch in which the POV follows the shoes, not a person. As flash fiction it’s interesting and evocative, but if its to be submitted for publication somewhere, it needs to be finished. (Sorry, I have no suggestions for markets for non-SF/F short fiction.)
Are commas inside quote marks in dialogue peculiar to some area of England? I’ve never seen that convention used in any of the hundreds of books by English authors I’ve read, nor those from any other locale. Dare I state that the comma belongs inside the [s:pvx081yo]comma[/s:pvx081yo] quotation marks, not outside? I also note missing hyphens and other typos, as updog mentions.