Re: Re: Autumn’s Fall

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#503057

bigiq
Participant

I’m a sucker for poems about nature, especially the changing seasons, and I like this. My one critique (and this falls solely in the realm of personal preference) is that I’d prefer it without the old world speech–mine, doth, ’tis, etc. It’s not that I don’t like poems with such words in them, it’s just that when they are used it’s usually in a more structured setting and not in something free verse–it just sets it off-kilter for me, especially when you slip in and out of modern speech alongside it. That said, I think that with (as Jane said) a tighter focus, you could really have something here.

P.S.–there’s a typo on one of the lines–should be “window panes” ( unless of course all your windows are stuck like mine and then window pains works just fine 😉 )