Thanks Peg for the critique. I can see some how your suggestions might help it out. You’re right, I probably never had any dignity to lose (poor choice of wording or thought) and it’s too bad I can’t start the story with a booty shake (maybe I can, I’ll have to think about it). It does lack that attention grabbing quality that I often look for when trying out books or magazine articles by new authors or ones that I’m not committed to following. I can’t begin to count the number of books I’ve put aside when the first half of chapter one doesn’t hold my curiosity hostage and not only allows me to release it but seems to beg me to do so. I hadn’t really considered this for publication as it really started out as an email to my mom. She suggested that I compile a bunch of my stories into a small book for her but I know I need much more training to do so. Thanks again for the suggestions.