Re: Re: Again, In the Beginning …looking for a crit today!…

Home Forums Critique Central Poetry Again, In the Beginning …looking for a crit today!… Re: Re: Again, In the Beginning …looking for a crit today!…

#471153

Bruce
Participant

Hi Strangebaird:)
As I read this it reminded me of a cremation, and I could relate to most of the visuals in that case.

An interesting read. The only suggestion, and it’s because I don’t think it is needed, would be to remove the word Ashes that comes after the word Formless. I’m not really sure why it doesn’t fit for me, except it came too soon after, deep into ash. Dry.
Hope this has helped a little,
Elizabeth