Re: Re: A short fish story

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#527379

skyedragon1968
Participant

I agree that this reads more like a joke than a story. In addition, you have some serious verb tense issues. Look at the first two sentences. “The day was warm…” “It is a wonderful day…” You can write in present tense or past tense but you can’t jump back and forth. And finally, as has already been pointed out, I really don’t think that greed is good is a lesson children benefit from.