Dear John Letter - 10/6

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Re: Dear John Letter - 10/6

Postby candcross » Fri Dec 03, 2010 4:03 pm

Dear whatever your name is,

You have made me so mad I am leaving. Uh uh wait can I start over. Thanks.

If your reading this you must have climbed through the window and you are wondering why your books are stacked up against the door. Well lets begin with this, a list of things that are not book marks: the microwave sleeve from the hotpocket, used kleenexes, ripped paper from the floor board of the car you haven't cleaned in three years, biscuit wrappers, that comb you have had since you were 16, precooked bacon, a used dish towel, the McD's napkins your kid leaves in your chair, and crushed beer cans.
I could go on but I have to be at the public library in two hours or I don't have a place to live. Yes I said "dont have a place to live." I know what you're thinking, but I would rather be kindling for a homeless person than live with you. At least I would be apppreciated then. I mentioned the bookmark thing because a conspiracy has started and I would watch your back. I am not sure why I told you that.

I also mentioned the bookmarks because of this; do you remember when you found your books in the trash. Yeah, when you came back from the Bahamas, and you blamed your wife. I did it. You're oblivious. Let me ask you this. How can your wife do it, if she was in the Bahamas with you? No wonder all those mystery novels you own never got finished, geez. Well anyway, those crappy bookmarks made me sneeze all time and I finally had enough.

On top of all that I had to listen to all the books complain about smelling like food, beer, snot, and whatever else you managed to use as a bookmark. And the dust on me, well let me just say the pile of dirt on the floor wasn't swept there.

Anyway, I am going to the library because I know I will get treated better down there. Did you know I have permenant scars on my third shelf because you like to sit your beers there, when you stare at the boob tube. Did you know that you kids wiped their dirty diapers on me, several times? Your wife never told you? Yea, well, serves you right. Maybe you should get the next book shelf you own at a yardsale for a quarter or something. Well gotta run. Oh yeah, I guess I do care a little, if I were you I would get rid of the books "Patton", "The Art of War" and all the CSI text books you have. Remember, I said conspiracy.

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Re: Dear John Letter - 10/6

Postby cosivantutte » Sun Mar 16, 2014 4:13 pm

Dear John,

I'm sorry. I've tried to be strong and keep it all together, but years of being slapped, tossed at the wall, and bashed with a baseball bat have taken their toll. This morning, when you hit me with the sledgehammer, I knew that this had to end. This is not a healthy relationship. I am leaving you and I will never come back. Don't come looking for me.


Your (but no longer your) alarm clock

Ps: I hope you never find someone new. May you always be late for all of your early morning appointments - especially the important ones.

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Re: Dear John Letter - 10/6

Postby jackitaylor » Tue Aug 29, 2017 10:05 am

Dear Jacki,

As you can plainly see, I am gone. You only have yourself to blame. You used me up and then you ignored me. I never minded the using part. I was happy to be of service to you. I really was.
Every morning, you move your throw pillow and the previous day’s clothing (you’re a slob jacki, sorry to say that, but it’s true) off of the chair and carelessly heap them on my foot along with your purse, which is much too heavy (when’s the last time you cleaned it out of all that garbage?). I never really minded that, all I ever wanted was to do things for you. You used to give me something in return. But those days are over. You used to share with me your dreams, your hopes, your fears, and yes, even your tears. I listened and I comforted you. But you don’t lay on me and think or plan or dream anymore. You just fall right to sleep! I know it is because you’re so tired all the time. You spend all your time with the desk now. I don’t understand why. What does the desk have that I don’t? It’s hard and you bang your knee on it every time you cross your legs. Are you surprised that I know that? You don’t know how much I care about you, how I worry about you. Whatever it is that you’re doing at the desk all day and half the night, it is killing you! You are working yourself to death! And I’m sick of watching it! Well, you won’t have me, nice and soft and comforting, to use and ignore any longer. You don’t even make me anymore. Dust is all over my pretty sheet and pillow now. BTW, the sheet and pillow left with me.

Your bed


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