After opinions about my plot- *Early Stages*

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benj2687
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After opinions about my plot- *Early Stages*

Postby benj2687 » Fri Jan 06, 2017 10:45 am

Hello,

I have an idea for a plot for a series I want to write and would like feedback from people who wont flatter me (i.e family members). The genre is adventure/magic/ action I guess but its still very early days but I will explain the basics below:

· A young man named Hiro leaves his small home island of Stonehaven to fulfil his dream of reaching and exploring the End of the World. Hiro has lived on the small island his whole life and has an unquenchable thirst for adventure. He has chosen his goal to be the End because when he was younger, a travelling mercenary visiting his master told him what End was- completely enrapturing the isolated young Hiro. Hiro made this his aim and trained since that day to become strong enough to make the journey. Hiro possesses a rare item known as an artefact and it will be very important in his journey. He has had the artefact ever since he was discovered on Stonehaven as an infant; embedded in the back of his left hand. Artefacts are rare but each possesses unimaginable and different powers. Across the world, multiple guilds are being formed. A guild is a group of like-minded individuals aiming for the same goal. More specifically, Explorer’s Guilds are being formed in order to have a greater chance of reaching End. Many people want to reach End for many different reasons but Hiro’s may be the most profound of all; for the joy of adventure. Along the journey, Hiro will meet various different people who will join him in his cause and they will team together to reach End.

Artefacts: Special items and tools that boost power in battle (e.g. A sword that covers itself in flames or the ability to communicate with animals via a connection of some sort). This is one of the main gimmicks of mi idea but I do not want them to be overpowered so soldiers without artefacts can still beat them.

The End of the World: In the story, the End of the World is undiscovered. Many groups want to reach End for various types of gain- e.g. The World Govt. wants to establish a base there to ensure complete control over the worlds laws. The race to reach the End is highly competitive. ( I do have more for this but I do not want a wall of text to stop people commenting :/ )

Adventurers Guilds: Early on in the story, Hiro will form a guild and use it to generate funds and experience for his eventual assault on the End. He will set the guild up in his countries capital city and gradually gain members who use the guild for work and in turn help Hiro in his goal.

My main concern is that I am trying to fit too much into the story and that maybe I should just focus on the guilds or the End. I don't want to overcomplicate things as I normally tend to do. I do have more but this is the basic outline.


Any opinions would be most welcome.

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cynicalwanderer
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Re: After opinions about my plot- *Early Stages*

Postby cynicalwanderer » Sat Jan 07, 2017 5:48 am

Sounds good to me, although as you say it's enough material for a series. Perhaps try to jot down your overarching series arc in broad strokes, and then knuckle down to work out the theme, and the optimal stopping point in that arc, of book one.

The world-building of the goal and artefacts and the factions etc sounds interesting - similar in tone to the One Piece manga. If you can bring them all together and keep the sense of mystery about the End, it could be exciting stuff. As for the name Hiro, while it makes for a nice meta-joke, it has been done before (Hiro Protagonist in Snow Crash) so be wary of being called a copycat if you go there. Stonehaven also sounds familiar, but I don't recall the reference. Basically I'm saying strive for memorable originality as part of your world lore and character building - there had been plenty of "supernatural school" books done in the past, but none so memorable as Hogwarts when that series surpassed them all.
"I've stopped giving advice. Even when people ask for it, they resent getting it." -Ross Macdonald.

IamNotCormacMccarthy
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Re: After opinions about my plot- *Early Stages*

Postby IamNotCormacMccarthy » Sun Jan 08, 2017 11:12 am

· A young man named Hiro leaves his small home island of Stonehaven to fulfil his dream of reaching and exploring the End of the World.


I like this idea, especially the artefacts part... one idea though, I think the arc of the story would be more compelling (and easier to write) if Hiro has the journey to the End of the World thrust upon him, instead of it being an endeavor he's always dreamed of. This is a cheesy analog, but imagine the Hunger Games told from the perspective of one of the "careers" who trained their whole life for that one moment... it wouldn't have been very interesting.


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