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Give us Telling and Let us Fix it : Conversation question • Page 5 • Writing Forum | WritersDigest.com

Give us Telling and Let us Fix it

Every month in Writer's Digest's InkWell section, we pose a question related to the writing life. Tell us your thoughts.
James A. Ritchie
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Re: Give us Telling and Let us Fix it

Postby James A. Ritchie » Sun Oct 26, 2014 10:48 am


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Crono91
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Re: Give us Telling and Let us Fix it

Postby Crono91 » Sun Oct 26, 2014 3:58 pm

For me, more important than showing is showing what the character would actually see or notice.

Ian was bored in class.

Version 01: Ian sat at his wobbly desk in his seventh grade math class. His eyes caught the sun glistening through large window that was cracked in a few places, because he had nothing better to do. The light illuminated the dust and dirt that inhabited the floors...

Version 02: Ian slouched in his desk, his cheek squished into his right palm. The clock in his seventh grade math class just wouldn't turn any faster, and the boy sitting in front of Ian clearly forgot to take a shower all week. He rolled his eyes and sighed deeply, ignoring whatever useless problem Ms. Espezeto wrote on the board. Mondays.

I find most people turn their "telling" into version 01, because for some reason it seems natural for us to do that kind of descriptive writing, whereas I feel version 02--albeit still messy--shows a better way of describing the area, because it matches the character.
Be proud of your mistakes when they form from blinding passion. But now edit them.

MatthewTM
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Re: Give us Telling and Let us Fix it

Postby MatthewTM » Sun Oct 26, 2014 5:32 pm


James A. Ritchie
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Posts: 4257
Joined: Sat Jul 23, 2011 11:31 am

Re: Give us Telling and Let us Fix it

Postby James A. Ritchie » Mon Oct 27, 2014 12:22 pm


James A. Ritchie
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Re: Give us Telling and Let us Fix it

Postby James A. Ritchie » Mon Oct 27, 2014 12:23 pm


SteveLowe
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Re: Give us Telling and Let us Fix it

Postby SteveLowe » Mon Feb 23, 2015 12:04 pm


tkdubb
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Re: Give us Telling and Let us Fix it

Postby tkdubb » Tue Feb 02, 2016 1:37 pm

I haven't read this entire thread, there are a lot of replies here, but I got the gist of what going on here. Very interesting, I like it.
Not sure if somebody might have mentioned it, again I haven't read the whole thing, a little trick, habit, whatever, that I like to use.
I carry a micro tape recorder around with me and record a description of what I'm experiencing as it is happening.

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