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Fortune Cookie 06/13-06/19 : Writing Prompts and Challenges • Page 2 • Writing Forum | WritersDigest.com

Fortune Cookie 06/13-06/19

The editors of Writer's Digest provide a weekly Writing Prompt to get your writing going.
yudelka
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RE: Fortune Cookie 06/13-06/19

Postby yudelka » Wed Jun 14, 2006 6:53 am


goobiesonvenus
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RE: Fortune Cookie 06/13-06/19

Postby goobiesonvenus » Wed Jun 14, 2006 6:53 am

Well, I've always been a sucker for orange chicken and fried rice, and this new place has got me absolutely addicted. It's kind of a strange place, ya know? Those little paper circle lights hang above all the booths, and 'cause they don't give off very much light, it's dark in there. It's almost annoying, but I put up with it just 'cause their food rocks.

Anyway, I found out they would deliver one day when I was in there, and I figured that was perfect 'cause then I could eat the food and I wouldn't have to deal with the weirdness. So I sent my secretary down to get the food I'd ordered, and when she came back, she said, "Dan, that place is WEIRD!"

What can I say? I dug in. The food was good, as usual, and I noticed they'd included a fortune cookie, which most Chinese places do, but this one never had before. I'd never known why, but I didn't complain. It isn't MANDATORY, is it?

So I was all excited 'cause I got a fortune cookie, and I love fortune cookies. I tore it open after I was done with the rest of my food and it said, "Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die."

Huh? What was that supposed to mean? I knew the cliche, of course, but aren't fortune cookies supposed to be fortune-telling. This was just obscure.

But I decided to listen anyway. I ordered more orange chicken, threw in some Kung Pao and sent my secretary for it. Then I invited my coworkers into my office. Maybe it was just an advertising gimick. Maybe not.

Oh well.

-Lauren

goobiesonvenus
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RE: Fortune Cookie 06/13-06/19

Postby goobiesonvenus » Wed Jun 14, 2006 6:56 am


Gladys
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RE: Fortune Cookie 06/13-06/19

Postby Gladys » Wed Jun 14, 2006 8:18 am

I've just finished my delicious lunch of mu gu guy pan and am about to crack open my fortune cookie. This is the best part of eating Chineese food, the fortune cookie. I slowly take it in my hands and "crack" it opens and there is my fortune. "You will meet the most interesting man in 3 minutes." What, I don't want an interesting man in my life. I am perfectly happy with my life as it is. But maybe it would be nice, an interesting man? I finish my green tea and rise to pay my check and leave. The cashier that takes my money is a big, boisterous obstinate skunk that reeks of bo. So much for my interesting man in three minutes.

brentg
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RE: Fortune Cookie 06/13-06/19

Postby brentg » Wed Jun 14, 2006 11:19 am

The Fortune Cookie

Roland Michaels pulled his dress slacks over his portly hips, then tugged hard to get the metal hook to match with the loop.

“Damn cheap pants. Nat must have washed them in hot water. They shrunk,” he grumbled. With a great heave he made them catch on the second try.

He looked up. Natalie stood in the doorway. She looked annoyed this morning.

“No, Rollie. They didn’t shrink. You’re about to eat yourself right out of those pants.”

This was nothing new. He’d heard this before. It just hit him wrong this morning.

“Don’t start on me Nat. I’m not in the mood.”

“Hell, you’re never in the mood … for anything … except seconds.” She chortled at her own joke as she walked away.

You can insult a man in many ways, but when his sexual prowess is challenged, it goes to the very core of his being. Roland was immediately defensive.

“I might be in the mood once in a while if you took better care of yourself,” he snapped to the empty door. “Comb that bottle-blond mop once in a while.”

That did it. She reappeared in the door in full battle fury.

“You overweight, potbellied slob. You couldn’t get it up anymore if you had a handful of I need more spam. With the size of that blubbery gut … you probably couldn’t see it if you did!”

It got uglier and meaner in a hurry. Many hurtful things were said. He’d not seen Natalie this mad. Frankly, it had shocked him.
Food was the only thing that comforted him now. Natalie sure didn’t. She had no interest in his bloated body; and she hadn’t for months.

With a satisfied wipe of his full lips, Roland removed the last trace of Walnut Beef and Teriyaki Sauce. He had been feeling a little light-headed before Ting Cho’s China Closet had delivered his lunch at nearly 2:00 PM. At a conservative estimate of 350 pounds, he needed to eat regularly and often.

Now, with his stomach full, he felt better. He reached for the fortune cookie. It broke open in his hand. He poured the pieces onto his desk.

He had never seen the fortune folded up that way. Curious, he unfolded it and spread it out on his desk. Sweat dripped onto his glasses. He removed them and grabbed a tissue. Suddenly he was very flushed and hot.

With the glasses clean, he carefully settled them on his face. The tissue was used to wipe sweat off his face. As he wiped, he read, slowly at first … then incredulously.

“Rollie, you big fat pig. You just had your last meal. Hope you enjoyed it. Our savings are safely in an offshore account. By the time you read this I will already be in Mexico. Don’t worry. The poison is quick. You won’t suffer.”

The poison WAS fast. His eyes rolled back in his sweat-soaked face. He quietly slid off his chair.

mavis moog
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RE: Fortune Cookie 06/13-06/19

Postby mavis moog » Thu Jun 15, 2006 12:11 am

The fortune cookie read, "Hello Mavis. Now do you believe in me? - God."

I looked around, looking for Derren Brown, or any other famous TV illusionist. There he was, with a long beard, white robes and a thuderbolt in his left hand, sitting next to the fish tank. A large goldfish was staring at him through the glass. I waved tentatively, like I wasn't sure he'd know who I was. He glanced over his shoulder, saw the inquisitive goldfish, and then looked back at me. He nodded vaguely in my direction.

"Who's that?" I asked my companion.

"That's the local nutter. He thinks he's God. Ironic really, because God's that goldfish in the tank behind him."

WriterKat
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RE: Fortune Cookie 06/13-06/19

Postby WriterKat » Fri Jun 16, 2006 4:51 pm

Try the Sum Yung Gai next time!


everett_burnett
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RE: Fortune Cookie 06/13-06/19

Postby everett_burnett » Fri Jun 16, 2006 5:32 pm

I sit across from my wife, Angela laughing at her jokes, all of which I've heard before. You have to laugh though don't you? We're in our favorite Chinese place. I say it's our favorite, but it's really hers. She likes the spring rolls. We used to go to a more romantic Italian place. One of those candlelit Tuscan byob type restaurants. I used to stop in Hendel's Liquor before picking her up. It was a liquor store that was once a bank in the nineteenth century. It stood as the one of the oldest buildings in Camden Creek. Its variety was exotic and I'd impress my then girlfriend with my wine choices.
We'd sit for hours staring at each other's faces bathed in flickering shadow. We even got to know the young couple that ran the place. They were so much like us. They threw it all into the wind to open that little place and follow their dreams. We talked with them for hours. Then came our wedding and the house and so went our dream of throwing caution to the wind. We'd go to that restaurant and fight all the way home. I think we fought because we settled and that place was a reminder. Angela thinks I was flirting with Carmela, the woman that owned the place with her husband.
Now, we do our "romantic thing" cramming msg against our previously developed palates. Angela's still talking. I'm not really listening. She'll notice soon and her death pall of an attitude will fall over the table. She thinks that denying sex to me will be some sort of punishment.
I ask for the check and our wanly thin teenage waitress already has it ready. She drops two fortune cookies on the pleather billfold. Angela avoids my eyes as she digs through that bear trap she calls a purse. I haven't read a fortune cookie in that place since I opened one that said "Things will change dramatically at work". I went to work on Monday and my position had been downsized.
What the hell! I'll throw that caution into the wind. I open the cookie. My blood runs cold. It says, "Beware of your wife. She will kill you tonight". Was that Confucious? Is this a joke? I look up at Angela. For the past four years of our marriage, I always got the feeling that she looked through me. Right now, she's looking directly into my eyes. I thought my blood was cold before. I close my eyes to accept that I will meet my death tonight.

midknight
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RE: Fortune Cookie 06/13-06/19

Postby midknight » Fri Jun 16, 2006 7:33 pm

FORTUNE COOKIES

Alec was out with his new lady friend, trying to impress her with some nice dins at his fav Chinesy Spoon. The meal had been pretty reasonable, although the company, he thought, was more memorable. It was their second date and their nerves were starting to unwind a tad, the smiles were coming easier, and the whole interaction between the two was beginning to be the beginning of their beginning.

They were onto their second bottle of wine and dessert had come and gone. His Chinesy was making him a tad queasy. “Damn lychees”, he thought, “just can’t seem to get them down without them repeating on me!” Still, he deliberated, let’s go for the Fortune Cookies. “Let’s see if they can give us any indication of what’s to come with this bird”, he wished hopefully to himself.

He broke his into halves and escorted the little paper from its fissure in the cookie. He smiled - small blue writing he read aloud: “This insert has a protective coating.”

She smiled, knowingly and quipped in return, “Smart, Alec!” I’ll read mine first if you think I’m gonna fall for that.” “You have met someone who may only have a brief impact upon your life.” “Oh,” she thought to herself, “I was hoping this one might go the distance.”

Alec, dutiful from her faint jibe, turned his little paper over. “This is your first warning. Stop now or suffer the consequences.” His eyes blurred a little from the wine. “What the devil’s that mean?” he muttered to himself. Stop what, being with Diane? What consequences could come from being with this kool girl?

“Stupid cookies,” they both thought to themselves.

“Another fortune, Cookie?” he asked her as he smiled and passed the basket to her. He took another for himself.

She took her message from the 2nd cookie. “You may soon encounter a problem.” Diane looked perplexed and considered the message as Alec broke open his 2nd cookie. He ate the bits, leaving a vile and bitter taste in his mouth. “Yuck! What are these things made from?” he wondered. “Did I eat the Protective Coating?” He read out loud again, “You find it really difficult to accept good advice.”

A look of extreme annoyance crossed his face. “What the …” Alec left the thought unfinished. He stifled a disgusting burp from his meal. His stomach was beginning to churn in earnest. A thin veneer of perspiration appeared on his forehead.

He never did like playing two out of three odds and decided to try to redeem his luck with a third Fortune Cookie. With sweaty palms, he offered the basket of cookies to her again. “Third time’s the charm, eh?”

“I’m fine, Alec,” she mused. “Girl’s gotta watch her waistline if she expects a fella to.”

“Yeah, I know you’re fine. The view’s plenty good from over here,” he flattered. “Go on. It’s not going to kill you,” he proffered. Reluctantly, she crumbled the cookie into bits and retrieved the message. A dark look came across her face. She looked up at him and saw the sweat on his brow. He didn’t look very well, she thought. His eyes were a bit glassy and his smile was gone. He began to open the cookie.

She reached over and took his hand - cool to the touch and clammy. “Alec,” she cooed, why don’t we go over to my place for some coffee?”

Just before they left, she looked again at the malevolent little piece of paper and re-read, “For Christ’s sake, DON’T let him open the third Fortune Cookie!”

debo
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RE: Fortune Cookie 06/13-06/19

Postby debo » Sat Jun 17, 2006 6:07 am

"You expect find fortune in dough, you much foolish person. Advise you go ask doctor, lawyer, or clergyman, not cook."

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