Using screenplay style in a novel

[Crono91]

While editing my novel, I let another writer friend edit it, and she pointed out once scene in an early chapter where it goes like this:

Sara: (dialogue)
Tiffany: (Dialogue)
Chris: (Dialogue)
you get the drift.

She asked, "Why did you use a screenplay style here?"

I used it once, and just there because I had three characters going back and forth--it was a fast banter and I didn't want "she said, she said, he said, she said," to slow it down. So i figured I'd cut out the middle man for just that part.

Is that a bad idea and I should just stick in some "she saids" or is that okay to use?

[shadowwalker]

I'd say bad idea but you don't have to use dialogue tags for each one. As long as the reader knows who's saying what, it's okay.

[mammamaia]

ditto that... bad idea... makes no sense to suddenly be using character names and colons [which is not screenplay style, btw] and doing so is not at all necessary, as long as it's clear who's saying what...

[TerryRodgers]

John Sanford does this all the time in his novels. Doesn't appear to effect his sales.

[mammamaia]

if you meant john sanDford, terry, i've read most of his novels and can't recall seeing anything like that in them... which ones have you seen it in?

[TerryRodgers]

Oops...thank you for the correction. I love John Sandford's novels. I thought it strange when I saw them. That's why they stuck in my memory. I just finished "Broken Prey" and he had quite a few colons. Examples:

page 156: A whispery laugh: "Nope, it's me, old Charlie Pope."
page 168 - He dictated: "Davenport added that any woman...."
page 186 - Lucas nodded: "Yes."
page 186 - As he went out the door, he looked back at the thin man with his Burgular book: "Sophisticated?"
page 215 - Youngie grinned: "Man, you look like ****.

These are just samples. The whole novel is laced with them. I'm going to start another one of his soon. I'll be on the look out for them.

[louiseh87]

Oops...thank you for the correction. I love John Sandford's novels. I thought it strange when I saw them. That's why they stuck in my memory. I just finished "Broken Prey" and he had quite a few colons. Examples:

page 156: A whispery laugh: "Nope, it's me, old Charlie Pope."
page 168 - He dictated: "Davenport added that any woman...."
page 186 - Lucas nodded: "Yes."
page 186 - As he went out the door, he looked back at the thin man with his Burgular book: "Sophisticated?"
page 215 - Youngie grinned: "Man, you look like ****.

These are just samples. The whole novel is laced with them. I'm going to start another one of his soon. I'll be on the look out for them.

Those are in effect just differently punctuated dialogue tags. The OP's example of just using character names looks more like a script. To be honest, I'd probably lose interest if there were *no* dialogue tags whatsoever.

[James A. Ritchie]

What John Sandford does is not only fine, it's one of the most effective ways of avoiding too many dialogue tags, and of mixing action with speech. Most writers do this, including me.

This is not the same as what Crono91 is doing. Sanford's use is effective and done very well. The screenplay style Crono91 uses is distracting and unnecessary.

[mammamaia]

right you are, james... which is why i probably didn't notice sandford's use of colons for 'pre'-dialog tags, or just huffed in annoyance at seeing them and kept reading...

the method shown by the op, while it's not formatted as dialog is in a script, is still just as minimal, so wouldn't fly in a novel at all, if i was its editor...