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Writing Forum | WritersDigest.com • Problems with action scenes in first person. : Tips and Advice • Page 2 • Writing Forum | WritersDigest.com
Page 2 of 2

Re: Problems with action scenes in first person.

PostPosted: Thu Mar 16, 2017 11:05 pm
by Dreaming Imrryr
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Re: Problems with action scenes in first person.

PostPosted: Thu Mar 16, 2017 11:12 pm
by g-girl3
No matter what you think of his stories, if you want to see first person action done well read something by Dick Francis. Few authors can write in such a fashion that I'm not constantly reminded that it's in first person—he was one who could.

Re: Problems with action scenes in first person.

PostPosted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 3:54 pm
by wdarcy

Re: Problems with action scenes in first person.

PostPosted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 8:01 pm
by DrG2
I'll avoid the minefield of the other comments.

The problem with your "action scene" is that it's mostly a "thinking scene". Think of the last time something surprised you - - a dog coming out of the shadows as you were walking at night, or a guy cutting you off in traffic. You don't have a lot of time to think. Your characters shouldn't have a of of time to think during action, either. The time to think is after the action has stopped.

My personal rule of thumb is I try to avoid interrupting action by anything at all, and really don't want the interruption to be more than 25 words.

I'd suggest you find a writer whose action scenes you like, and read them and try to analyze what they are doing.

Re: Problems with action scenes in first person.

PostPosted: Wed Apr 19, 2017 1:31 am
by SarcasticHawke489
I agree with DrG2.
I'm not very skillful writer myself to give any detailed advices, but as a reader I felt like you have had too many internal thoughts between the actions. I got the feeling as if the character spoke directly to the reader, like commenting with his/her thoughts while in action (maybe that's how you meant it to be), but I think too many thoughts and reactions of the character slows down the pace. Just my opinion.

Re: Problems with action scenes in first person.

PostPosted: Wed Apr 19, 2017 11:35 am
by ostarella
Agree with the "thinking" versus "action" comments. Fights are fast. An occasional sporadic pause in motion as people catch a quick breath, but otherwise, it's one thing right after another. So, while first person can be much more difficult, it's not impossible.

Think staccato. Short sentences. Incomplete sentences. Impressions versus descriptions. Remember the emotions involved because those can be as powerful in a fight scene as the actual blows (watch fight scenes in movies - what the camera picks up on the faces you put into words). Another thing to remember - your characters will get tired. They're battered and bruised and tense - and as the fight goes on, they slow down. Your character will worry about that, will want to end it before he wears out and loses. Include that worry, because it adds to the tension for the reader as well. And remember all five senses.