[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 112: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
Problems with action scenes in first person. : Tips and Advice • Page 2 • Writing Forum | WritersDigest.com

Problems with action scenes in first person.

Here's the place to share a writing or marketing tip you've used successfully and want to pass along.
User avatar
Dreaming Imrryr
Master Sergeant
 
Posts: 320
Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2016 1:44 pm

Re: Problems with action scenes in first person.

Postby Dreaming Imrryr » Thu Mar 16, 2017 11:05 pm

.
Last edited by Dreaming Imrryr on Tue Oct 31, 2017 3:48 pm, edited 2 times in total.

g-girl3
Private E-1
 
Posts: 8
Joined: Thu Mar 16, 2017 12:17 am

Re: Problems with action scenes in first person.

Postby g-girl3 » Thu Mar 16, 2017 11:12 pm

No matter what you think of his stories, if you want to see first person action done well read something by Dick Francis. Few authors can write in such a fashion that I'm not constantly reminded that it's in first person—he was one who could.

User avatar
wdarcy
Major
 
Posts: 1697
Joined: Mon Mar 10, 2008 4:13 pm

Re: Problems with action scenes in first person.

Postby wdarcy » Fri Mar 17, 2017 3:54 pm

"Wagner's 'Das Rheingold'" (Oxford 1993). Winner of the Society for Music Theory's Wallace Berry Award, 1995.

"Elements of Sonata Theory" co-authored with James Hepokoski(Oxford 2006). Winner of the Society for Music Theory's Wallace Berry Award, 2008.

User avatar
DrG2
Colonel
 
Posts: 2723
Joined: Wed Nov 14, 2012 11:13 pm

Re: Problems with action scenes in first person.

Postby DrG2 » Sun Mar 19, 2017 8:01 pm

I'll avoid the minefield of the other comments.

The problem with your "action scene" is that it's mostly a "thinking scene". Think of the last time something surprised you - - a dog coming out of the shadows as you were walking at night, or a guy cutting you off in traffic. You don't have a lot of time to think. Your characters shouldn't have a of of time to think during action, either. The time to think is after the action has stopped.

My personal rule of thumb is I try to avoid interrupting action by anything at all, and really don't want the interruption to be more than 25 words.

I'd suggest you find a writer whose action scenes you like, and read them and try to analyze what they are doing.

User avatar
SarcasticHawke489
Private E-1
 
Posts: 6
Joined: Mon Apr 17, 2017 8:39 am

Re: Problems with action scenes in first person.

Postby SarcasticHawke489 » Wed Apr 19, 2017 1:31 am

I agree with DrG2.
I'm not very skillful writer myself to give any detailed advices, but as a reader I felt like you have had too many internal thoughts between the actions. I got the feeling as if the character spoke directly to the reader, like commenting with his/her thoughts while in action (maybe that's how you meant it to be), but I think too many thoughts and reactions of the character slows down the pace. Just my opinion.
" Do I look like the leader of this merry band of misfits? "

User avatar
ostarella
Lieutenant
 
Posts: 671
Joined: Mon Mar 20, 2017 11:51 am

Re: Problems with action scenes in first person.

Postby ostarella » Wed Apr 19, 2017 11:35 am

Agree with the "thinking" versus "action" comments. Fights are fast. An occasional sporadic pause in motion as people catch a quick breath, but otherwise, it's one thing right after another. So, while first person can be much more difficult, it's not impossible.

Think staccato. Short sentences. Incomplete sentences. Impressions versus descriptions. Remember the emotions involved because those can be as powerful in a fight scene as the actual blows (watch fight scenes in movies - what the camera picks up on the faces you put into words). Another thing to remember - your characters will get tired. They're battered and bruised and tense - and as the fight goes on, they slow down. Your character will worry about that, will want to end it before he wears out and loses. Include that worry, because it adds to the tension for the reader as well. And remember all five senses.

Previous

Return to Tips and Advice

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 6 guests

cron