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Past Tense Fiction and "Ing" verbs. : Tips and Advice • Page 2 • Writing Forum | WritersDigest.com

Past Tense Fiction and "Ing" verbs.

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DrG2
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Re: Past Tense Fiction and "Ing" verbs.

Postby DrG2 » Sat May 14, 2016 3:59 pm


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pls
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Re: Past Tense Fiction and "Ing" verbs.

Postby pls » Sat May 14, 2016 5:04 pm

Excellent examples and usage lesson, DrG2.
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cynicalwanderer
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Re: Past Tense Fiction and "Ing" verbs.

Postby cynicalwanderer » Sun May 15, 2016 9:23 am

Plenty of writing "do's and dont's" lists tend to encourage the use of active verbs rather than passive ones. And by and large, it's probably a good position to "default" to, dropping back to passive only when it feels more in tune with your sentence's rhythm, if that makes sense. When in doubt, I find it best to sound out the sentence using both variations, and get a sense of which one feels better for your own particular style and cadence.
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DrG2
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Re: Past Tense Fiction and "Ing" verbs.

Postby DrG2 » Sun May 15, 2016 9:39 pm


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Re: Past Tense Fiction and "Ing" verbs.

Postby HawkEliz489 » Wed May 25, 2016 7:54 am

I'm again struggling with this 'ing' verbs. Here are some small parts from my drafts.

1. Karen woke up all at once, giving a small yelp of pain. She slowly sat up in the bed, realizing she almost swam in her own sweat. Her arm burned like hot embers deep down to her bones, sending agonizing feeling all over her body. She pushed herself to the moon light, staring at her patched arm. The bandages were soaked with blood and she felt unpleasant fussing inside...

2. Karen woke up all at once as she gave a small yelp of pain. She slowly sat up in the bed and realized she almost swam in her own sweat. Her arm burned like hot embers deep down to her bones. It sent agonizing feeling all over her body. She pushed herself to the moon light and stared at her patched arm. The bandages were soaked with blood and she felt unpleasant fussing inside...


These are kinda two versions I made (the first is 'original' that I have placed in my draft), but I'm not sure. As much I'm thinking about 'ing' verbs, as much I'm getting confused and I have no idea if the way I'm writing is right in general.

Here are other 'ing' lines from my draft for more examples.

1. Karen slid her hand into the gap of her jacket, pulling the necklace chain off her head. (Alternative version: Karen slid her hand into the gap of her jacket and pulled the necklace chain off her head.)

2. Karen looked back at the boy. He sat on the ground, trembling as he stared wide eyed. (Alternative version: Karen looked back at the boy. He sat on the ground and trembled as he stared wide eyed.)

3. James gaped as if in surprise, his eyebrows lifting.

4. Smiling, George stepped next to Karen and clapped a hand across her back. “Well, I had no doubt in her,” he said, staring kindly with his honey‐brown eyes.

5. “What’s the matter, Jones?” Professor Kaufman slowly trudged forward. He had his arms crossed, his dark eyes flickering with obvious displeasure.

6. “You know what they say about that town?” she said, tilting her head over her shoulder while burning them with a glare.

7. Michael cursed as he ran to another door. From the blurred vision Karen could see him turning over the shelf doors, searching madly for something.


I just can't help this 'ing'. When I write my draft, they just come out naturally. Do these following lines sound fine or should I try to replace them?
for example: From the blurred vision Karen could see him turning over the shelf doors as he searched madly for something. (both versions kinda sounds right, that's why I'm split between choices. Or does it depend on my style? I heard that every writer has their own way and choice of words to express their stories. Like, 'the voice' you're telling/showing your story to the reader.)
“Do I look like the leader of this merry band of misfits?”

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DrG2
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Re: Past Tense Fiction and "Ing" verbs.

Postby DrG2 » Wed May 25, 2016 10:36 pm

While I might edit many of those sentences, your use of -ing verbs is not really a problem.

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