I am writing a bank robbery scene and would like some help .

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SweetToothMindWarper
 
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I am writing a bank robbery scene and would like some help .

Postby SweetToothMindWarper » Tue Nov 06, 2012 6:23 pm

I'm writing a bank robbery scene and would like some help....

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Elibet1
 
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Re: I am writing a bank robbery scene and would like some he

Postby Elibet1 » Tue Nov 06, 2012 7:01 pm

Hmm, you might want to share your dilemma :mrgreen:

Welcome :D
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SweetToothMindWarper
 
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Re: I am writing a bank robbery scene and would like some he

Postby SweetToothMindWarper » Tue Nov 06, 2012 7:36 pm

Hey thx for replying. So yeah, basically I want the robbery - scene to be EPIC!!! Think the robbery - scene from HEAT, but with more guns and way more epicness. In fact it'd help if you could give me a list of action - movies containing bank - robbery - scenes. I know for a fact however that it's going to be an afternoon - heist with the crew probably containing 6 - 7 guys in ski - masks with automatic - weapons.

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Elibet1
 
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Re: I am writing a bank robbery scene and would like some he

Postby Elibet1 » Tue Nov 06, 2012 9:04 pm

LOL, I'm sorry, but no one is going to do your research for you. As a writer you are supposed to conjure-up the robbery. :mrgreen:
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SweetToothMindWarper
 
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Re: I am writing a bank robbery scene and would like some he

Postby SweetToothMindWarper » Tue Nov 06, 2012 11:19 pm

It's half - past five in the morning and once again I'm drunk off my ass limping off the ground in some dark - alleyway in one of the shittiest parts of town. The stars are out tonight and there's a full - moon baby. My body aches and I've got bruises all over my face, I mean what did I expect when I picked a fight with that bouncer. Boy was he a bruiser, he nearly knocked my left - eye out its socket.
That's why I miss being a cop and not for the reasons you might think. Protect and Serve, my ass. No, that b.s. is for suckers. The whole point of the badge in the first place is personal - gain, power, people respect you more when you've got the juice. And on top of that the stupid - pricks give you a gun. Truth is most cops are jerks, but every once in a while you'll meet that one cop, that one individual that puts a smile on your face. That one pig whose shit doesn't smell as bad as the rest. I was that pig once.
That was a long time ago. That was back when I still had something worth fighting for, still had Kate and the kids. Those were the good old days, there was less noise in the house and I didn't always come home wreaking of beer and strippers.
I wipe the blood from the side of my mouth and reach into my jeans pocket. Fuck you bitch I need a cigarette. I trip over something, it's sturdy and hard, because it trips me over and I do a face - plant - hard onto the cement, causing half the cigarettes in my box of Newports to slip out. Oh yeah and it's raining so everything's soaked now.
"Hey you motherfucker, I'll kill you!"
I hear approahing footsteps and I get slugged before I can even get up. He pounces on me, his hands swinging wildly, he's doing a lot of slapping whoever he is, but not a whole lot of anything else. What kind of guy slaps?
"Get the fuck off me!" I shout, pushing him off me with all the strength that I'm able to muster. I'm angry now, an angry - drunk. There's going to be hell to pay.

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Elibet1
 
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Re: I am writing a bank robbery scene and would like some he

Postby Elibet1 » Wed Nov 07, 2012 6:23 am

If you are looking for a critique on this you need to post it in the critique section of these forums. Also if you haven't already done so you need to read the forum guidelines.

All the best,
Elizabeth
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Luke
 
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Re: I am writing a bank robbery scene and would like some he

Postby Luke » Sat Nov 17, 2012 7:16 pm

I like your piece.

I'm sure you can come up with an "epic" robbery.

Try outlining it a few times, each with variations. You'll get to a good one that way.


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