Brotherly Love - 5/11

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Brotherly Love - 5/11

Postby Brian » Tue May 11, 2010 4:45 am

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Brotherly Love - 5/11

Postby Brian » Tue May 11, 2010 4:45 am

Write a story about two brothers who are competing for the affection of the same woman.

You can post your response (750 words or fewer) here.

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Re: Brotherly Love - 5/11

Postby danijam » Tue May 11, 2010 6:51 pm

She wasn’t charming. She wasn’t even beautiful. But there was something about her that could be described as enticing though nobody could put a finger on what it was. In her youth she never veered from the course brown braid that ran down her back and the ill-fitting hand-me-down clothing from an older cousin. In spite of that, they would simply remember the wide blue eyes that stared without relaying a thought behind them.
And so she would stand at the bus stop each morning and the brothers would cajole and compliment her.
Were they kidding? She would ask herself. Surely they were mocking her. So she retreated into her own thoughts, doing her best to ignore the advances she believed to be false.
The school year passed and eventually the brothers gave up their attempts at propositioning the girl.
Though it may have been the competition that drew them both to her, they were genuine in their advances. And yet she would never know.
As the years passed and they all moved down separate paths, she would always believe they mocked her at the bus stop, and each of the brothers would always believe that she was beyond their reach.

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Re: Brotherly Love - 5/11

Postby bkmitchell » Thu May 13, 2010 2:36 am

Tommy pushed his fire truck back and forth, back and forth across the sand pile, making siren noises as he worked. He was totally oblivious to his surroundings, engrossed in his little world of make-believe in the side lawn of the trailer park. In his 4 year-old brain this was the epitome of satisfaction. Playing outside on a summer afternoon and not having to go to the crummy babysitter’s house. He was happy mommy lost her job at the Super Duper!

Johnny wandered absently around the back of the trailer, stooping to tear off every dandelion and wild daisy that met his eyes. He knew mommy was sad about getting laid off from her job. Johnny was 7, and he knew what it meant to feel sad. Like when Mrs. Johnson said he lost recess because he pulled Marybeth Williams’ pigtail during reading. He knew he hadn’t touched her pigtail, but arguing was no use. He learned that by watching mommy and daddy argue for endless hours last summer, before daddy finally left. He felt true sadness over being misjudged and given a consequence unfairly. Johnny thought mommy must feel sorta that way. Now that she had no job she worried they would lose their trailer and have to go on welfare so they could get food stamps. Johnny worried too, but mostly about mommy.

Tommy looked up when he saw motion out of the corner of his eye. He immediately saw that Johnny had a fistful of flowers, and he was gonna go in and give them to mommy. I am mommy’s favorite, Tommy thought, suddenly abandoning his firetruck and walking towards Johnny. I’ve gotta get some flowers for mommy too. “Wait Johnny!” Tommy hollered. He stopped to pick a stray dandelion in his grimy little hand and ran up to where his brother stood.

Johnny took a deep breath, Ah-huh, turned, and ran up the trailer steps. Tommy tore off after him, grabbing fitfully at the back of his brothers Spiderman t-shirt to slow him down. “Wait for me Joh-n-n-y,” he wailed. Both brothers tumbled into the kitchen where mommy was standing at the sink peeling potatoes. “Boys! What is going on?” she demanded at first. Then, looking closer, she suddenly saw the shredded flowers surrounding her two little wrestlers, and heard the sounds of both boys’ tears. Mommy bent to the floor and pulled both her boys onto her lap. “You know I will always love you both the same” she said.

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Re: Brotherly Love - 5/11

Postby PaperDoll » Thu May 13, 2010 9:15 am

[QUOTE]danijam - 2010-05-11 11:51 PM

You conveyed so much in a few short paragraphs. Each character has his/her own frame of reference. Unfortunately, none of these conforms to reality, leaving no party fulfilled, just disappointed. This places the reader on the outside looking in with a clarity that is unreachable to the protaganists involved. Loved it. Perfect. Thanks!

Write on! :)

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RE: Brotherly Love - 5/11

Postby neener86 » Thu May 13, 2010 2:14 pm

Brush Strokes

It wasn’t supposed to be this way. She was supposed to end up with Patrick. Hadn’t that been the whole point of this game? Why, now, did I want her for myself?

“That was an amazing show. I’m still dumbfounded at the way Fillipe’ captured the light and color in those photographs. Just stunning.”

I nodded, bringing the car to a stop in front of her apartment.

“I had a lovely time tonight, David.” she said.
“Sure. Me too. I’m glad you came with me.”
“You were sweet to ask.”

Sweet? Never heard that particular adjective applied to myself before.

“So, will I see you tomorrow?”

I shrugged noncommittally. The aloof cool guy, that was me.

“Maybe. I’ve started a new project and I might get sidetracked.”
“Oh? Tell me about it.”

She leaned forward, either anxious or truly interested. The smell of her skin; vanilla and something else. Nutmeg? It was comforting and enticing at the same time.

“It’s big. A portrait. It’s kind of Impressionism but with a darker edge, ya know. My style mixed with a more classic influence.”
“Wow! Sounds interesting. Now, I know better than to ask to see it before it’s done,” she smiled, touched my arm, “but I hope you’ll let me see it when you’re ready. Who’s your subject?”
“You said it was a portrait.”
“Right. Portrait. Just someone I saw in a dream once. No one I could ever really have.”

She furrowed her brow a bit but thankfully didn’t press for more information.

“So mysterious,” she teased, inching ever closer. “So, uhm, would you like to come inside?”

And there it was. This was the moment we had waited for. I was supposed to say yes, was supposed to go into her apartment. Everything was falling exactly into place.

“I would love to come inside,” I said.
“But I can’t.”
“Oh,” her face fell.

She tried to hide her disappointment but failed. She had always been abysmal at keeping her emotions disguised. It was one of the things Patrick liked about her. He knew she could never lie to him, at least not successfully. Personally, I found it a little annoying. Hiding your feelings from the world was a form of protection, one she lacked. I would have to protect her, and I had never been cut out for the Knight in Shining Armor crap. Yet, when I was with her, I found myself wanting to be that guy, that Paladin keeping the evil of the world at bay, keeping her unblemished and pure. This sucked.

“It’s just… I’m really anxious to get started on this project. It’s in there,” I thumped the side of my head, “pounding on my skull, trying to get out. I need to get started before I lose the momentum.”
“Of course. I understand,” her face softened. “Well, I guess I should let you go then. Thanks again for the beautiful evening.”
“Sure. We can do it again sometime.”
“Yes! That would be wonderful.”

Hook, line, and sinker baby. I had her in the palm of my hand, just like we’d planned. So why couldn’t I reel her in?

“So, this is goodnight then?” I asked.
“Looks that way.”

Well, of course, I kissed her. And for that moment, she was mine, all mine. No underhanded plan for me to woo her and break her heart so Patrick could be there to pick up the pieces. Just me kissing a girl I wasn’t supposed to be falling in love with.

Boy, Patrick was going to be pissed. Well, too bad for him. Eh, brothers always forgave. Eventually.


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Re: Brotherly Love - 5/11

Postby Leond » Thu May 13, 2010 2:33 pm

Rich chuckled slightly, looking at his brother Hans, who had fallen back, relaxedly in his chair.
"Poor Hans," he thought. "Poor, stupid, dead Hans."
He almost wished that he hadn't had to end things that way. However, love always does strange things to people, and it certainly had to him. Jane was a beautiful woman, and had the most wonderful laugh he had ever heard. He remembered that he had almost emulated that laugh as he had put the poison into Hans' food. Poison that had finally made the field clear for him.
It had all started two years ago. Rich and Hans, very tight brothers, had met Jane at an exercise club that they had both decided to go to. They befriended her very quickly. Then, at one of their very ritual dinners together, the two of them simultaneously revealed that they were in love with her. Naturally, both of them said that it was only just for the other to court her exclusively, and that they wouldn't think of making a move. Naturally, they both did, and Jane made no particular attempt to choose between them. Neither of them could gain any ground on the other. Every time she seemed to make a move to one of them, the next week it was a move to the other. After all of that time, Rich had finally gotten sick of the whole business, and decided to take action.
"That's what makes me a better choice than Hans for her," he thought. "I'm much more decisive."
It was a normal dinner. Hans brought some wine as a gift, and they ate and then toasted. Then, as Rich had planned, Hans dropped dead, quite suddenly, and with very little pain. All in all, it was a very humane death. Rich had planned a way to get rid of the body quite handily. So the plan had gone over quite well.
He smiled triumphantly. And then suddenly gulped. Everything started spinning around him, and he was no longer able to breathe. He staggered for a moment, then fell violently on the table, hitting his head against the corner of it and knocking it all down.
His blood mixed with the red of Hans' deadly wine.

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Re: Brotherly Love - 5/11

Postby Leond » Thu May 13, 2010 2:33 pm

I like the one with the two boys and the mother. That's cute.

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Re: Brotherly Love - 5/11

Postby neener86 » Fri May 14, 2010 1:19 pm

Thank you to Lori C. for asking for a story about, well, about this odd pair of brothers:

Fenuku was uttering the final words of the incantation that would finally raise his beloved Khepri from her arid tomb, when his brother came bursting in.
“Ebo! How did you get here!”
“Mother sent me. When she discovered what you were up to, she sent me to stop you.”
“You look terrible.”
Ebo flapped his unraveling bandages in Fenuku’s face.
“What do you expect? I’ve been dead for six, no, seven hundred years. You look the same as ever.”
“One of the benefits of being undead, dear brother. You never grow old. Or moldy,” Fenuku wrinkled his nose.
“Ha ha. I didn’t ask mother to reanimate me, you know. At least you got to be alive. Sort of.”
“Oh yes, living with mother for centuries has been a delight, let me tell you. I’ll never forgive her for inviting that traveler into our tent. Foolish woman. I told her there was something wrong with that fellow. He cast no reflection in the Nile, I said but did she listen? No! Of course not. Anyway, what does she care if I bring Khepri back? I love her with all my heart, still though it may be. “
“Khepri was promised to me, Fenuku. You know that. She was to be my wife.”
“Right. And then a chariot ran you over and that was that.”
“I loved her!”
“She never cared for you. She was in love with me!”
Ebo pulled something from his bandaged belly and flung it at Fenuku.
“Ow! What are you doing?”
“I’m going to kill you, Fenuku.”
“With this?” Fenuku picked up the object. “What is this?”
“It’s garlic! Ha!”
Fenuku gave the bundle of white bulbs a sniff.
“Garlic? These are onions, you idiot.”
“Onions? Really? Let me see.”
“You can’t just take my word for it can you? Typical. You always thought you were smarter than me.”
“Well, I am the older brother.”
“By about five minutes. That hardly counts.”
“Yeah? Well, you were always Mom’s favorite! How do you think that made me feel?”
“That’s not true! For hundreds of years all I’ve heard is Ebo this and Ebo that. It’s maddening! I’m going to raise Khepri from the dead and make her a vampire so we can be together forever.”
“Uh, won’t she be all rotted and gross? Forever?”
“On the contrary, with this spell I can restore her youth and beauty. Then, if I bite her really quickly, she’ll become a vampire and stay gorgeous for eternity.”
“What? Bite me!”
“I beg your pardon.”
“I don’t want to spend eternity shuffling about in these rags. Bite me.”
“No way. Go cry to mom.”
“I already asked her. She said I would just be a vampire-mummy if she did. You have a spell that can make me handsome again.”
“Trust me, Ebo, no spell can make you handsome.”
“Nice, Fen. We are twins, you know. I know it’s been a while, but surely you haven’t forgotten.”
“Fraternal twins.”
“That’s it. I’m killing you.”
“With what? Your magic onions?”
“Ugh! You are infuriating! Look, I know Khepri was fabulously beautiful and all but, truth be told, I didn’t fall in front of that chariot. She pushed me. She’s evil. As Thoth is my witness, I still love her, but please don’t raise her. She’ll just try to kill me again.”
“She won’t be able to kill you unless she, uh…”
“Unless she what?”
“Oh, there are ways to kill a vampire, but I’m not telling you!”
“I don’t want to spend the rest of existence watching my back. What do you say, Fen? Bros before hos?"
Fenuku regarded his brother for a moment, then shrugged.
“Alright, alright. After all, you are my flesh and blood. Blood? Get it?”
Ebo rolled his eyes.
“Come on, let’s get out of here. So, who’s in charge these days?”
“Some fellow named Ramesses the Second. Such a show off!”
“Never heard of him.”
“Well, duh!”

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RE: Brotherly Love - 5/11

Postby annelizabeth721 » Fri May 14, 2010 6:19 pm

Ben and Aaron were brothers who were two years apart in age, but light years apart in personality. They had absolutely nothing in common, until now. They both held affectionate feelings for the same woman, Stacy Farrington.

Ben York was an ambitious go-getter who wouldn't stop until he reached the top. By the age of 23, he had two degrees under his belt. As a worker in the financial world, he knew how to network. And, although he led an exciting life, he began to feel restless. He couldn't put his finger on exactly what was making him unhappy, until he met Stacy. She was unique in that while she was truly attractive, she was extremely shy. Something about that, made her all the more attractive. Stacy was working as a temp in his office when they met. He needed to run a copy of something on the way to a meeting while she was collating.

"Excuse me, could I just run something through real quick?" He didn't even notice her at first until she dropped some papers. When he went to help her pick them up, he noticed that she had the most beautiful brown eyes. He was usaully into tall and blonde. Stacy was petitie and brunette.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset your collating. Looks like you're going to have to sort this mess all over again. If you want to wait 15 minutes, I can come back and help you sort it out."
"Oh, no it's fine. They don't really have too much for me to do today. I'll have something to pass this day faster now." Stacy smiled and looked down.
"I guess that it's a lucky thing that I completely bowled you over and made a mess. Maybe later I can steal your cab on you."
"I'll be walking home, so you're out of luck." Stacy looked at him and smiled this time.
"Well, I should at least be a gentleman and do something for you. How about a coffee?" And that's how it all began. Ben gave her a call now and again to keep in touch. He still dated and still flirted with other women, but somehow he always came back to thoughts of Stacy. 

Now, his brother, Aaron on the other hand would love to settle down. At age 25, he had only completed two years of college and had no desire to continue. He enjoyed woodworking and working with his hands and the less he had in life, the happier he was. He wanted to do nothing with his life. He was content standing still. Aaron happened to be doing work at Stacy's loft. Aaron came from a recommendation of a friend. Stacy had come home early one day after completing her current temporary assignment and found Aaron busy at work.
"Wow, you do great work. No wonder why you came so highly recommended."
"Thanks, it pays the bills and I actually enjoy it. Do you want me to leave? I can come back early tomorrow."
"No, stay. I was just going to make myself some salad. Would you like some? Or something to drink?"
Stacy was not in any way trying to hit on him. She was just truly offering him something to eat and drink. But his honest conversation and quiet demeanor was endearing to her. She found herself attracted to him and she also found herself leaving work earlier just to try to get a chance to chat with him. He finally asked her to come to dinner at his place. He didn't like going out and enjoyed cooking.

Neither Aaron, Stacy, or Ben knew about the brotherly triangle until one early morning in the park.  Stacy stopped to rest after her powerwalk, while Ben was jogging by. Aaron had cut through the park on his way to the hardware store.  He approached Stacy and Ben and stopped in front of them without saying anything.

"Wow, today must be meet eveyone you know in the park day," Stacy giggled. She was about to introduce Aaron to Ben when he spoke up. 

"You two know each other?"
"Yeah, Stacy worked in my office for a short while. And, obviously, you two know each other as well."

"Stacy's is the loft I'm working on."
"Small freakin world, bro."

"Okay, so now that the two of you know how you met me, how about telling me how you two know each other," Stacy looked befuddled. They explained to her that they were, in fact, brothers.  Stacy didn't think it was so funny.  She made up a lame excuse and made her exit in a flash.  That's when the argument between the two brothers ensued.  They fought about past incidences, blamed each other, and the old competitive feelings were back on again.  "We both obviously have feelings for her. So, she'll just have to decide," Ben deduced and Aaron agreed. They called her on a three way and told her it was up to her.  She agreed to meet them in a public place, but she never showed. She had a girlfriend deliver a letter to each of them. She explained that while Ben gave her a sense of adventure, she didn't feel grounded with him, and that while Aaron made her feel safe, there was no excitement. She decided to take some quiet time to recoup.  She wanted a relationship that had both components to it, with no turmoil. She decided to choose...not to choose. She chose herself for a while.  


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