Animal Revolution - 2/15

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Re: Animal Revolution - 2/15

Postby JohnXLSX » Sun Mar 06, 2011 6:23 am

“There’s no way in hell this is really happening” I said to myself. “Trapped in a hole surrounded by talking animals? Please, this must be a joke. Any minute now a crew of cameramen will come along with Ashton Kutcher and let me know I’ve been 'Punk’d'. Then again, that doesn’t make any sense. I’m just an average Joe who hunts for a living. I can only think of two other possible explanations. I’ve either been cast to do a Twilight Zone scene, or I’m currently in that one particular show where your friends hire a bunch of losers to scare the crap out of you. The latter makes more sense. Yeah, that must be it.”
“Hey you! Shut up for Christ sake, we’re trying to figure out how to kill you!” said a cute little bunny.
“You think I can’t see through your little disguise Marie?! Boy you must be stupid if you think I’m going to believe you really are a talking rabbit.” I said.
“Oy! My name’s Bert you over sized monkey!”
“Bert? Jesus, how'd you fit in that costume?”
“Oh bloody hell! Bernie, can you shut this guy up?! I can’t concentrate on murder with this guy running his mouth.”
A rabid looking fox came by and looked down at me.
“Whoa, now THAT is impressive. How did you manage to pull that off you crazy bi—“
“QUIET!” roared the wolf. “Now you listen to me you overweight bastard. We’ve been tracking you for months now, and I assure you, you will pay for your crimes against nature.”
“Oh for God’s sake, I’ve had just about enough of this. Let me out of this here hole you loonies! I’ve seen through your game and I want out!”
“This isn’t a game you fat bastard! This—this is JUSTICE! You say one more word, and you die right here right now! Capiche?”
“An Australian bunny and a talking fox who knows some Italian, now I’ve seen it all.”
The fox crouched down into his lunging position; right before attacking however, another voice was heard.
“Bernie! HALT!” The voice was dark and powerful. Overwhelmed by it, I stumbled a few steps back.
“All in due time my friend.” The voice then said.
Fear had at last consumed me, and words could no longer escape through my lips. I had to get out of there, and I had to do it fast. The animals went away to continue their discussion, leaving me to my thoughts…
I attempted climbing out of the hole, but it was futile. My hands were bruised, and the hole was dug incredibly well. Shaped like a cylinder, probably a little over 12 feet. Then, a brilliant thought came to me, and I knew exactly what to do…
The fox was a hunter, like me. He and I both shared the thrill no doubt, and maybe I could provoke him and his cute friends to a little cat and mouse game. However, in order for me to do this, I’d have to convince the leader, not the fox. I had thought about convincing the fox to turn on his friends, and let him ‘have me’ all for himself. Unfortunately, seeing as how obedient he was to the mysterious voice, I doubted that could be a possibility. So, what I'll do is, I’ll—
“Okay we decided.” said the bunny. “Roasting it is.”

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RE: Animal Revolution - 2/15

Postby vstamand » Mon Mar 14, 2011 12:41 pm

The ice cold air cut through my nose and mouth, carrying the smell of the woods into my lungs as I ran through woods. The faded yellow sunlight that peeked through the heavy clouds provided just enough light for me to know when to jump over the fallen, rotted-out branches and oversized tree roots. I leaped, like a gazelle galloping through the fields--missed my footing, and collided with the dew-moistened dirt.

The first thing I felt was pain. My head was throbbing rhythmically like marching band drums. It was either that, or the thought that it sounded like drums that gave me a headache.

Distant chattering, or maybe tiny chattering, distracted me from my thinking, and I opened my eyes and realized I was lying on my back. Instead of being greeted by skyscraping oak trees standing over me, I realized that I was in a huge cocoon of tiny rocks, dirt, and sticks. As my eyes slowly adjusting to the darkness, I saw the source of the chattering. It was animals, the kind of soft, furry, kind animals I've watched on Disney movies, huddled together in the far end of the dirt hole. They became excited; their chattering began to sound like words--human words.

"Yes-yes, a large trap, that's what we should use," a rabbit suggested, as its little rabbit friend nodded happily.

"Let it escape, and I'll hunt it down like I do all of my prey," a red fox said, as it glanced in my direction.

I squeezed my eyes shut, praying to the gods above it hadn't seen my eyes open. They’re talking about killing me! They are actually over there talking about killing me! Apparently, falling down rabbit holes doesn’t always get you to Wonderland.

"I'll shred it to pieces and we'll all share!" simply stated by the grizzly one.

A united shout of consensus jolted the sense of urgency into me, and the feel of the rope tied around me suddenly registered with my nervous system. I turned away as I heard them discussing which body part each would receive, and I tried to focus on an escape plan.

My brain scattered around looking for a plan. I've watched so many action movies where they slipped the rope off, and oh how I wished now that I'd paid more attention. Then again, I never would have thought Smokey the Bear would be trying to tear me apart! I went back and forth in my head, trying to recall a MacGyver move, or something from James Bond--and then I realized something horrifying. The cave was completely quiet.

I slowly turned, and my face froze with fear when I saw multiple sets of eyes glaring at me. It was like the glare of Winnie the Pooh when he found a beehive full of honey. Their eyes were open wide, as wide as they could possible go, and the rabbits were licking their lips. I could swear I heard its stomach growl. The bear began to approach me first, and the rest eagerly scurried right behind it.

"Do it, do it, do it, do it," they began to chant softly.

The bear looked down at me and raised his left paw right above my face, claws long and sharp. I looked up at the bear, with his paw ready to strike, and then slowly panned the group of hungry, chanting animals waiting right behind him. As I accepted my fate, and shut my eyes, the last thought that ran through my mind was the my only regret was to have died a vegetarian.

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Re: Animal Revolution - 2/15

Postby jagrova » Sat Mar 19, 2011 4:11 pm

What happened? My head hurts. Where am I? It smells like the soil when I turn the garden over in the Spring.

"We should put him in a trap." One of the rabbits says.

I look around and realize I'm surrounded by forest animals

"It would be better if we let him go and then chase him down." The fox says.

All eyes are fixed on me and I realize they are talking about what to do with me.

"I think we should set up an obstacle course for him to negotiate before getting food then right at the end when he thinks he has it BOOM he's launched in the air." the squirrel says.

"You always survive those. He needs to experience what it's like to be hunted." the fox says.

I'm not even a hunter. I've never set a trap in my life. I've only laughed at the videos posted on-line showing squirresl being launched.

I've always enjoyed getting out in the woods and hiking. The smell of the trees and the forest blocking out the sounds of humans relaxes me. I'm more a live and let live kind of guy.

"I should be going now." I attempt to stand up but bump my head on the roof of the burrow.

"No, you will stay right where you are. You are charged with the murder of our family members and you will stand trial." The group of creatures parts to reveal a possum. he must be their leader.

"You are charged with setting traps in the woods, chasing fox with horses and dogs, driving vehicles that run us down..."

"Whoa, I've never set a trap or chased a fox. I've never hit an animal with my car and people would avoid hitting you with their vehicles if they could."

"You are of the race of man and therefore you are guilty."

All the creatures start chanting, "Guilty. Guilty. Guilty."

"No, no, no. I'm not guilty. I respect nature. I draw my strength from running in the woods."

"Draw strength to continue the hunt." the fox snarls.

"I don't hunt." I say as I slide myself away from the glaring eyes. You have to find a way out of this. You are a lawyer by trade for crying out loud. Argue your case. "Mr. Fox isn't it true you yourself hunt rabbit?"

The fox looks stunned. "Yes, I hunt rabbit but only when I'm hungry."

"Some humans hunt rabbit to eat also. One guy I know hunts rabbits, turkeys, and deer but only for food."

"That doesn't explain the chasing of fox." the fox says.

"No it doesn't explain that. Fox hunting is referred to as a blood sport. I personally don't see what is to be gained by causing the death of a creature for fun. Now it can be argued I have not done enough to stop the practice. I promise if you let me go I will become an advocate for ending the practice of fox hunting."

"I still say we let him go and then chase him down." the fox says.

"What about our concerns when it comes to crossing the road?" a small voice asks.

"Like I said before most humans would avoid hitting animals with their cars if they could. I'm willing to advocate posting signs asking for people to slow down and watch for animals crossing the road."

The possum sits nodding his head. "We have heard the human. If he is willing to be an advocate for us he would be more useful than if he were dead."

I look around the group most of the heads nodding in agreement. The fox is still glaring at me.

"Ok human, you are charged with ending the fox hunting in the area and setting up the signs you call for along the roads. Come now, let's go and leave this human."

With a scurry of feet I suddenly find myself alone in the burrow. I crawl on my hands and knees through the opening inhaling the fresh air as I emerge from my captivity. I look around but see no creatures.

While I'm walking back to the parking area I rehearse the argument I'm going to present at the counsel meeting tonight to encourage them to vote to ban the practice of fox hunting.

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RE: Animal Revolution - 2/15

Postby Celosia » Mon Mar 28, 2011 3:37 pm

I was always a fat kid with too many sweets, an oversized imagination, and an in explicable dear of wild animals. As I grew up I thought I could leave it all behind. I don’t eat refined sugars and I spend three hours a day in the gym. Now I’m the CEO of my company and life is good; until my childhood caught up to me.

I was doing my daily marathon training and was on my favorite stretch of the trail by the ravine. I took a breather to enjoy the serene nature of the gully when a fieldtrip sized gaggle of children set upon me. They came rampaging down the trail laughing, screaming and pulling each others’ hair. I jumped from the trail in an effort to avoid the horde.

My balance choose this moment to abandon me. I pointlessly flailed down the ravine. I saw the unavoidable rock my surprisingly frail skull was hurtling towards. Then darkness. Malicious whispers tickled my ears and seeped into the crevices of my brain. The loathing and fear that dripped from those incomprehensible words caused my runner’s instinct to override even a concussion. I woke from my haze with what felt like a skull cleaved in half. I could barely see for the pain but I could still hear the hushed hateful chatter. Fear grabbed me by the shoulders and forced me to my feet.

I looked about the narrow, long trench I had landed in. At the rim of the pit I saw dozens of furry critters; from squirrels and birds to deer and a small black bear. They chattered, chirped, and growled to each other, never taking their eyes from me. Amused at the spectacle, I imagined what they might be so curious about.

“He fell in the hole,” said the mole.

“He has no fur,” piped the robin.

“Let’s throw rocks at him,” purred the lynx.

I was startled out of my musings. Why would I imagine such a thing? I listened and pondered until it finally dawned on me that I hadn’t imagined any of it. They were talking and their ideas of what to do with me were becoming more devious.

“Let’s push him out of a tree until he dies.”

“No, I wanna shove his mouth full of moss so he can’t breath.”

“Why don’t we just skin him?”

I was suddenly very frightened. They seemed to smell the fear on me which caused their chatter to become more excited. I fell back in to the corner of the ditch and they huddled around my head. Some of the larger animals were reaching towards me. The bear managed to pull some hair from my head and displayed it like a trophy.

I had to escape. I frantically scanned the top of the trench. It was completely encircled by the woodland creatures; except for the opposite end of the narrow ravine. They were all trying to reach me and had crowded the end I was cowering in. There was a slight slope so if I could run fast enough I could bound up the wall. The bear grazed my scalp with his claw and roared with triumph. That was all the motivation I needed.

Suddenly I was fueled by a nuclear reactor. I took off at what felt like the speed of light towards the end of the ravine. I reached maximum velocity and threw myself into the air like a gazelle. I felt the exhilarating rush of freedom as I sailed towards freedom. That’s about the time my knees caught the lip of the gully and I tumbled head over heels onto the grass. When I righted myself I was staring straight at the horde of evil forest dwellers. Their shock and anger vibrated through the air and I froze. The brandished his antlers and the various birds swarmed around my head. I threw my hands into the air and turned to run from the animals.

I ran right into the lynx, his vicious claws and teeth glinting in the air. I back peddled into a tree, turned to the left and sprinted across the forest floor. I could hear the bear thundering after me. I refused to look back, instead pushing myself as hard and fast as I could. I finally reached the trail I had been on, but never stopped running until I reached my door. I collapsed on the steps, and swore that I’d never leave them again.


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