Rewriting Rudolph - 12/14

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Brian
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Rewriting Rudolph - 12/14

Postby Brian » Tue Dec 14, 2010 4:16 am


Brian
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Rewriting Rudolph - 12/14

Postby Brian » Tue Dec 14, 2010 4:16 am

Rewrite the story of "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" from the point of view of Vixen (or any one of the other reindeer, such as Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer).

You can post your response (750 words or fewer) here.

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Re: Rewriting Rudolph - 12/14

Postby LazyTalent » Tue Dec 14, 2010 8:24 pm

You know why we didn’t like Rudolph? He was a useless, lazy, ass-kisser. Do you have any clue how hard it is to pull that fat ass around on his sleigh with all the worlds presents stuffed into his magic bag? Sure, he doesn’t feel the weight as he rolls out of the sleigh, slides down some poor family’s chimney and hoists out the gifts that ****ing elves spent all year making, or purchasing on ebay, or stealing from “naughty” children with rich parents. But, as with all magic, the basis of the power has to come from the combined ability of the caster; Santa just borrows ours. Why the hell else do you need 9 full grown male reindeer pulling a sleigh (well eight and a light-bulb nosed runt). None of the other reindeer will come out and say this because they all wish they could be him (Rudolph that is); I, on the other hand, no longer care to be Santa’s pet puppet. I once cherished the role. Oh yes. The story doesn’t tell you that but, before Santa’s runt rapture, it was I who led the pack; the biggest, and smartest, it was only natural that Santa would choose me. I practiced trotting regally for hours, trained daily at dodging trees while moving at light speed and making quick adjustments in the angle of our departure so as not to hit anyone’s chimney as the fat man gulped pint after pint of eggnog. Even my coat was effulgent; brown and glorious.
But one Christmas, Mrs. Clause thought she had redefined the Christmas beverage. Into an ever refilling cauldron, she poured sugar and spice and everything nice, and a few things not quite so; the resulting rather tasty liquid was packed with things that made human intestinal tracts jump for joy; reindeer on the other hand should never be exposed to the toxic chemicals she combined. Our systems require predominantly organic substances, a healthy dose of protein, and a limited supply of natural sugars, especially if we are to remain in tip top, roof hopping shape. Neither Donner, nor Prancer, nor Vixen, nor I would partake. Every day, she would ladle each of us out a rather sizeable portion of her concoction, and every day 8 reindeer and their bowls were moved away from her line of sight to discretely be dumped and washed and replaced with stream water. Rudolph, the little ass kiss, was the only one who consistently downed every drop of her poison with a smile on his face; sometimes he even scooted his bowl to her in an attempt to get another ladleful of the poop unicorns and rainbows. Combined with his distaste for hard work and his ass kissing, the little runt, who stayed that way by choice, started to catch the eye of the jolly red giant (did I mention that the shiny poop unicorns and rainbows Mrs. Clause was feeding Rudolph was fire-truck red?). I’m sure you can put 2 and 2 together. Santa was too stupid to figure it out, but Mrs. Clause is no dummy. She started giving her peppermint mixture exclusively to her favorite reindeer, and one dark night, Ole’ lazy Rudy became Bright Red Rudolph, and ever since, all the other reindeer have feigned happiness for the little runt who guides our pathetic parade. I, on the other hand, am quite alright with hating him, and Santa, and his little wife, too.

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Re: Rewriting Rudolph - 12/14

Postby alfer89 » Wed Dec 15, 2010 9:09 am

The icy snow crunched under his hoof as he waited patiently to be settled and strapped to the sleigh for yet another expedition around the world to deliver gifts to the little boys and girls. Prancer was excited because once again his dedication and hard work would be rewarded with him leading the pack for the twentieth year in a row. Many of the reindeer argued that Prancer got to lead simply out of tradition, and that he had not truly earned the head position. However, no one knew that Prancer would daily spend hours running, practicing his flying, going over safety plans, and grooming so that his brown fur was so healthy it looked like gold in the winter-moonlit sky. Prancer devoted countless hours to practice while the other reindeer played and goofed around. That is why when the new addition arrived, Rudolf, Prancer was not too much worried about him taking his spot as the lead. It is not that Prancer was arrogant, but Rudolf was different, yet no different than the rest of the gang. See Rudolf had this big cherry-red nose. Now Rudolf’s nose did not bother Prancer in the least bit. He was too busy training and preparing for the big night to be bothered with Rudolf. The other reindeer , however, found it amusing to poke fun of Rudolf, and pick with the kid. Prancer would occasional catch a glimpse Rudolf as he sat around and moped, and thought about how unproductive he was! Prancer felt that Rudolf could be using his time to sharpen his skills as one of Santa’s reindeer and potentially become good at it, but instead he pitied himself.
Thus, Prancer paced in the crunchy snow to warm up his muscles as he waited to be strapped for the sleigh. Then, as one of the elves got half way through the line a fog began to settle the earth. Now this did not bother Prancer for he had practiced flying at night and in inclement weather, but the other reindeer threw a fit.
Vixen said, “Santa, you can’t possibly expect us to fly in this fog!”
Santa shook his head and replied, “Well yes, I do in fact! We deliver every Christmas Eve regardless of the weather, you should know that Vixen.”
“But Santa, we will surely get lost, crash and die!” Cried Dasher
“Now aren’t we being a little over dramatic, Dasher?” Santa said with a hearty laugh. Santa then stopped laughing when he realized the other reindeer were not laughing as well but in fact had very serious and concerned looks on their faces.
“Do not worry Santa I…” Prancer had began,
“Hey, where is that new fellow with the Shiny nose?” Santa cut Prancer off and began looking around trying to peer out into the fog.
“But Santa,“ Prancer tried to continue
“Here I am” said Rudolf walking from out of the stables.
“Well I’ll be,” Santa said as Rudolf’s nose began to shine through the thick haze, “that solves it, Rudolf you will lead the pack and Dasher won’t have to worry about getting lost, crashing, or dying—at least not tonight” Santa finished with a “hohoho”
Rudolf leaped excitedly to the front of the pack and anxiously awaited to be saddled up. No one noticed that Prancer stood to the side with an indignant look on his face as if someone just stepped on his hoof. At first, Prancer believed that this must be some sick joke, but then Santa began the roll call and he realized that this inexperienced, ignorant novice had just taken his rightfully earned position! And did so all because his nose glowed! Did Santa not know how dangerous it was letting a beginner fly with the team with no practice, none the less lead? Besides, had Santa given Prancer a chance to finish he would know that Prancer had the elves install headlights on the sleigh for this exact purpose, but now he will not tell them and he will not fly out tonight and leave them to their fate. Prancer crunched off into the darkness of the stable to calm down so that he could have a discussion about the situation when Santa returned, and possibly get an apology. But sadly, Santa would never return.

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RE: Rewriting Rudolph - 12/14

Postby Ena » Wed Dec 15, 2010 10:43 am

The Real Story of Christmas featuring Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer

“I cannot believe that you still do not know how to “Whoa”!” Donner spoke sternly to Dancer and Prancer as they veered to the right causing the entire sled to almost take a tumble.

The night was cold and crisp and it had been a long one. Chimneys were more decorative than practical in the new houses and Santa had been required to enter via the windows and the doors more often than not. The good thing was that kids wanted new hi-tech items like cell phones and Wii’s. As a result the load was a lot lighter. In the old days, rocking horses and bikes took up a lot of room on the sled and the reindeers had had to work very hard to get up into the stratosphere.

“It wasn’t our fault Donner, Rudolph just doesn’t seem to keep up! He just glows all over the place and the stardust trails are still just as dim. I don’t see why he has to be on board anymore.” Dancer griped out loud.

“Yeah, in the old days, he really lit up the sky, but the ol’ nose light is getting dimmer and we are not as young as we used to be either” chimed in Prancer. “ What happened to Rudolph’s kids?”

Donner smiled, he knew that Rudolph had been mated several times, but none of the kids had inherited his bright red nose.

“Hey, we have to do this with or without Rudolph”.

Rudolph smirked. He was off in the background digging in the dirt, listening to the conversation. He loved the sweet yellow grass that lay just under the recent snowfall. I guess he knew he had a pretty good relationship going with Santa and it was very unlikely that he would lose his spot in the active lineup.

“The heck with you guys, I have been shining a light for the past 50+ years, you should know the route by now!”

Cupid and I were having a mock head butting competition while Blitzen just seemed to be lost in reverie. He was such a romantic. Christmas was his favorite time of year. In fact, it was his only time of year and he embraced every moment of the experience. At least he was in a good mood, I remember thinking.

“Ok" Donner ordered, "let’s get it together you guys. Santa is on his way back up to the roof and this last kid has been a pretty good drop off, so it’s time to pull together and get this sled off the ground. Focus on the moon to the right and keep the sled steady. Rudolph, take your spot next to Comet and get that nose up and running. Dancer get your hoofs in gear, follow the lead. Blitzen, Dasher and Prancer you are holding up the midsection…get it up there!”

“Let’s not distinguish between our work and our play. We are pursuing excellence on this run because we are the one and ONLY reindeers in this game. Up and at ‘em!!!”

Rudolph noticed something wasn’t right immediately. He stood on the roof as the sleigh filled with its’ pack of goodies lifted off from the roof top…. . What the heck…that Dancer, he never connected me to the sleigh! He looked up in time to see the wobbling sleigh going straight toward the tall building on the corner of the city block. Toys were flying everywhere, all of us reindeers tumbling down all caught up in the ropes that tied us together. Santa’s parachute had opened and he was floating down toward the street.

Rudolph took off toward Santa, scooped him up and quickly lifted him toward the church steeple looming in front of him. There was nothing to be said. Life as we knew it was over. Santa lost his nerve and started seeing a therapist. The rest of us reindeers were put out to pasture and the homeless people in that community had a wonderful Christmas gathering up all the beautiful gifts that were found in the front lawn of the community shelter. Another great tradition went down the tubes. As time passed, humans sent emails to one another with photos of what Santa used to look. Rudolph was always featured in the background with his nose shining. Me and Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, Prancer and Dancer were nowhere to be seen. Video games were created around our images but the world moved on.
;)

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RE: Rewriting Rudolph - 12/14

Postby ari18 » Wed Dec 15, 2010 11:51 am

(first of all: I'm new. This is my first attempt. Whatever anybody thinks, it was fun!) WC: 646. No resolution whatsoever.


It wasn't that I didn't like the kid. I did. Everyone liked Rudy. Even the I have a potty mouth who called him names and left them out of their stupid little games had a grudging respect for him.

In their defense, Rudy was really bad at... well, anything that called for any level of coordination. And had no sense of personal space. I mean, really, if you kept getting woken up by someone half your size flashing a damn red light in your eyes, you'd probably snap too.

But, like I was saying, Rudy was likeable enough. He couldn't help the fact that his nose gave off light like a neon sign. Or that every time he walked in on a game of hockey he ended up tripping half the team.

Thing was, everyone knew that. So, any of this stuff about Rudy being an outcast and all? Not exactly true.

Although not everyone was thrilled with what went down between him and Santa.

"Hey Vix!" It was Cupid, flanked by Donder and Blitzen, strutting over the snow like it was solid concrete and not the five foot bank of frozen water between us and any real ground.

Mrs. Claus really was getting good with the snow shoes.

"What?!" I responded with just a touch of irritation in my voice, not sure if their united presence was innocent or purely meant to intimidate me. Not that I get intimidated easily, but living in a male dominated society? Let's just say it don't matter how well a girl
can fly around here. She'll still be just a pretty face to most of the guys.

"We were wondering what you knew about Rudy taking lead this year." Blitzen wasn't the type to ask questions. Everything was a statement for him. He was a head taller than Cupid, and was not above using it to his advantage, although it was common knowledge that he submitted without argument to Cupid's preference. Less common knowledge was Cupid's connections with the Russian mob from his days in the Siberia region. Blitzen, an aging Yukon beast, knew where to lay his hat when it came to power structure. The point? These weren't the reindeers you wanted to get on the bad side of.

"How the hell would I know anything that goes on with management?" I'm about to spout off exactly what I think of said management, namely the big man himself, when I see big man himself, approaching from behind the now aggressively positioned trio.

"We know what went on between you and Rud, Vix. Don't think we don't know how he got on the old man's radar..."

"Hello Cupid." A deep voice stopped Cupid mid rant. Bowing his head demurely, his red and white bells reflected off the freshly fallen snow like winking crystals.

"Santa."

The politeness was suffocating, exhaling itself in the thick foggy breaths, momentarily encasing in a thin film over Mr. Clause's spectacles. Instead of looking away to wipe them clean, Santa just adjusted his glare over the rims, his blue translucent eyes daring.

"Vixen, I needed to clear the final details for tonight's flight with you." He addressed me, but had yet to break eye contact with the three other reindeer present, although by this time, even Cupid was shuffling his feet, focusing his attention on the preening some non-existent piece of fuss on his harness.

Of course, there was no fuss there. Nothing ever needed to be maintained here at the North Pole. Our coat of brown fur was ever immaculate, our bells ever shiny, our harnesses always in place.

Every five year old on the planet knew that.

But, Cupid's affected vanity was nowhere near my biggest concern right now. Because as I turned to follow Santa's lead, I saw a glint of recognition in Cupid's stupid brown eyes.

They knew. And they weren't gonna let it go.

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RE: Rewriting Rudolph - 12/14

Postby scriptspring » Wed Dec 15, 2010 11:52 am

Rewriting Rudolph

A nose that lit up. Please. Santa was so easily impressed, I thought. What was next, neon hooves?

I used to be his lead reindeer. They didn’t call me Comet for nothing. I could get from one continent to another in twenty seconds while pulling one very fat man and tons of cargo. No reindeer was faster except maybe Dasher who was pulled from the line for a year. Santa is nothing if not tolerant, but even he can’t endure being in the wake of a reindeer farting his way across the globe.

We were quite a team. Prancer and Dancer contributed aerobatic artistry. Vixen and Cupid were flirts. The in-flight entertainment was supplied by Donner and Blitzen who were expert storytellers. “What does Santa clean his sleigh with? Comet.” I love that one.

One day, I entered our barn and heard the taunting of Donner. “Doesn’t red mean stop.” The reindeer laughed.

“Am I the only one bothered by that constant blinking. It’s annoying,” said Blitzy.

“One might say he was being Rude-olph,” snorted Donner.

The jokes continued until Mack, one of the less productive elves, came in carrying a deck of cards. “Anyone for Texas Hold ‘Em?”

Forming a circle of white wagging tails, I could hear the crackle of shuffling cards. Standing aloof was Rudolph. I felt sorry for him. The circle had left him no room to wriggle in. Maybe it was because he was different or maybe because he was promoted above a handful of others without paying his dues, but he was on the outs.

Rudolph kept to himself the weeks before Christmas. He practiced take-offs and landings on the runway behind Santa’s workshop. He ate the leftovers in the trough. Rudolph became a shadow in the corners of our stable.

That Christmas Eve, elves harnessed us to the sleigh. As Rudolph was trotted to the front, Blitzen mumbled “Clown face” as he passed.

Santa finished loading the last bag. Mrs. Claus handed him a lunch sack which we all knew was full of antacid tablets. “Don’t eat too many cookies,” she said, giving him a quick kiss. Santa mounted the boards and cracked his whip over his head. We strained to pull the sleigh to the runway, took a running start, and lifted into the starry skies.

Over Switzerland, a fog bank appeared. Santa led us in, I’m sure expecting to come out the other side, but no matter how we swerved, the fog surrounded us, so dense, I couldn’t see the end of my nose. Had we been over Wyoming or the Sahara, I wouldn’t have cared, but I feared we might smash into a mountain at any moment. What would happen to Christmas if that happened? We could hear the fear in Santa’s voice.

Tempted to shut my eyes out of hopelessness, I was jolted by a bright light. A fireball of reddish orange, Rudolph’s nose lit up the grayness like it was daylight.

“Good boy, Rudolph!” shouted Santa. “Guide my sleigh.”

Barely had those words issued from Santa than we were staring straight into the side of a cliff, roots sticking out of its face like daggers.

“Whoa,” yelled Santa as he pulled the reins with all his might.

Rudolph lifted up, running vertically along the cliff, and pulling the rest of us into his course. His belly rubbed against the bushes at the cliff’s edge and he arched his back to prevent a similar fate for the rest of us.

Once the sleigh had narrowly missed the mountain’s lip, I heard Santa sigh in relief. I wanted to stop, get a drink of water, and get my wits about me again, but we had no time. Christmas Eve deliveries are an exact art with no time to spare. We glided to our next town with Rudolph’s blinking beacon lighting our route.

Once home, Rudolph had to have his belly bandaged. On Christmas morning, each of our herd came to say thank you. Dancer and Prancer had choreographed a dance in his honor. Cupid gave him a bushel of carrots. Vixen kissed him on the nose, making it blink like a strobe light. Blitzen and Donner told him jokes until I thought his sides would split. That night, I thanked Rudolph for saving my life and I became his wing deer.

I’m still the fastest reindeer of all, but Rudolph is our champion.

raquel75
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RE: Rewriting Rudolph - 12/14

Postby raquel75 » Wed Dec 15, 2010 2:17 pm

I enjoyed your take on the prompt. The flow was great and the idea of a reindeer in the Russian mafia, was creative and funny.

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RE: Rewriting Rudolph - 12/14

Postby MikeyBiggs » Thu Dec 16, 2010 11:02 am

Reporting live from Christmas town, I’m here with Famed Reindeer Blizten. Can you tell us what happened here?

Well, I think the best thing to do is start from the beginning. Everyone knows the happy fairy tale stories about Rudolph but there’s much more. I was in my 12th year paired with Donner as lead of the team, when Rudolph had made his way up through the ranks. So Rudolph and couple other rookies were trying out for the team when…

Let me just stop you for a second. At this point was his glowing nose a factor?

Not at all. That stuff about us laughing and calling him names was no different than any of the other rookie initiations that go on. Everyone has their physical differences. Her first year, Vixen was called Bucky because her front teeth are like a beavers. I was called Stumpy, because my antlers didn’t grow fully in for my first 2 years on the team.

OK thanks.

Anyway, Rudolph was always ahead of his class and honestly all the hype, I feel, went to his head. When it came time for tryouts he didn’t really push himself. It hurt his chances. Some of the coaches and trainers tried teaching him a lesson and sat him out for a while. They thought leaving him off the team another year would force him to work harder next year. That’s where the idea of us not letting him play in the ‘Reindeer games’ comes from. He brought it upon himself.
As the story goes Christmas came and there was a ridiculous storm. Donner and I had lead the team through blizzards much worse than that storm, but Santa had this crazy idea that his nose might help. We run in pairs so Rudolph in the lead threw our rhythm off. But he hooks up in front and Donner and I coach him through the run. Rudolph doesn’t listen to any instructions. He almost killed Dancer and Prancer at the first stop when he misjudged the decent and hung the sleigh off the end of the house. Anyway, we survived the night and Rudolph goes down in history for saving Christmas. But that’s where it goes bad.

What do you mean?

Rudolph is now the hottest thing in Christmas Town. First sign of trouble came a week later at the New Year’s eve party. Part of the rookie Reindeer jobs are to make sure everyone gets home safe from the New Years party. Well Mr. Popular got into the eggnog and could barely walk. When his Mother and Father saw him, they tried to take him home but he took off. A couple of CTPD Elves found him passed out in a Christmas tree 3 blocks away with some decorations he had stolen from a house nearby. Well at this point most of the team was sick of his attitude but his parents are close friends of ours. We made sure Santa didn’t find out and tried to get him under control. He had been dating Clarice, Comet’s daughter, and Valentine’s day was coming up. Well he got drunk again and this time Clarice caught him with another doe. The CTPD report says that Rudolph had pinned Clarice against a bench and was screaming at her when Comet saw this. They both spent the night in lockup, after Rudolph got his nose taped up. Seems Comet tried to make sure it didn’t glow anymore.. There was no keeping this from Santa and he wanted to kick Comet off the team. But the rest of us stepped up and backed Comet. Then Santa saw it first hand. He went to talk to Rudolph about his attitude and he told Santa to back off. He told Santa that he was just as popular as him and to keep his fat ass out of his way. Well at that point Santa removed him from the team and Rudolph continued on a downward spiral. Before long, he was stealing the model glue from the workshop to get high. He tried to turn the recruits against the school by saying we’d do the same things to them. He blamed everyone but himself. Decorations started going missing around town and they would show up broken. Then was the fire on Misfit Island, the investigation is still pending on that. Finally that brings us to today and this hostage situation in the toy factory. I’m not sure what he expects but holding those elves hostage is not going to get him off Santa’s naughty list. The fact is he’s a one hit wonder with a ton of potential. He was just has a bad attitude.

Blitzen, thank you for doing this and shedding some light on these tragic events leading up to today. Back to the studio...

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RE: Rewriting Rudolph - 12/14

Postby ebersocats » Thu Dec 16, 2010 12:22 pm

You know Dancer and Prancer and Comet and Vixen. Of course all readers do. Vixen is one unusual Reindeer. She deserves her name. She is a vixen. On some level she knows this is true, but doesn’t care. Many things get her dander up. One of those things is people referring to her as a he. Was everybody blind? OK, the reindeer knew she was a female, but the stories that spread! They kept everyone thinking that she was a he! Just because she hadn’t had children! Well, she was not concerned about having children yet. That would get in the way of her ambitions to lead the sleigh. So thought the gender confusion was a nuisance, that was not part of her plan for this Christmas.
Vixen’s latest machinations have been to steal Rudolph’s thunder. OK, she won’t literally take his thunder; she just wants his spotlight. That’s going to be tough since he has that shiny nose. Has that stopped her? No, not at all. She is proud of her bright eyes and thinks they can serve as headlights. Whether this is true or not is a matter of opinion.
Vixen figures if she can somehow get Rudolph in trouble she can accomplish her goal. Vixen goes over to a tree to rub her head against it and to grab a few leaves for a snack. Munching on her leaves, Vixen decides she needs to get her hooves done. They don’t look fetching enough after last night’s sleigh ride with Donner. This just won’t do. Vixen has figured that she needed to lure Rudolph to his downfall - she could picture him falling down a hill - so she would stand a better chance of being the leader. If she were going to do this she needed to look her best. Her hooves had to be the right shade of pink for winter and her fur needed to shine.
So off she went to the elf’s village where she could find someone to tend to her grooming needs. As her fur was being brushed, she had to smile. “Steal his thunder,” what a masculine way of phrasing it. But still, literally, Donner’s name was “thunder” in German. If she stole Donner for her own purposes, Santa would realize that he now had responsibilities and needed the lead role to fulfill the role of provider.
Originally Vixen had just planned to lure Rudolph into a bush and get him so ensnared there that he wouldn’t be able to report for duty. Hiding Rudolph though was too tricky. That darn nose of his had no off switch and he could always be found. So she came up with something else. Once Donner was entrenched as the leader, all she had to do was oust him and take his place.
She emerged from the salon looking ravishing, if she said so herself and she did. Then she walked over to the park area to do her fitness routine. Female or male, she’d be the fittest, then she could take the lead once the birthing and weaning was over and replace Donner.
She saw Donner off by the ice pond playing with Rudolph. Those two were inseparable, but when she fluttered her eyelashes and wiggled her little white stub of a tail, both males stopped to gawk. Soon they were butting antlers. At first it was friendly jostling, but this escalated to something quite competitive and fierce. However, it was Rudolph who as the leader realized that this jousting or fighting was not good for the team. He stepped back. He bowed to Donner. Donner, “You are the better stag. You go get her!” he advised.
Donner ran off at top sped to continue wooing the lovely Vixen. Soon they were an item. But Vixen’s plan was not going as expected. No! Rudolph backed down from the fight much too soon. And the fall back plan that he be so saddened by the loss of his best friend, he would not be able to perform his guiding duty, had failed. Instead, Vixen was off the team. Santa didn’t want the fawn to be neglected in anyway. This sure didn’t turn out as Vixen had planned. Still there still was the next year, or the year after that.

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