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Mother-in-Law Talk - 11/23 : Writing Prompts and Challenges • Page 3 • Writing Forum | WritersDigest.com

Mother-in-Law Talk - 11/23

The editors of Writer's Digest provide a weekly Writing Prompt to get your writing going.
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avalanche_of_elysium
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RE: Mother-in-Law Talk - 11/23

Postby avalanche_of_elysium » Sat Dec 04, 2010 3:56 pm

Bradley St Paul,

Now that, sir, was funny.

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RE: Mother-in-Law Talk - 11/23

Postby Bradley St Paul » Mon Dec 06, 2010 5:09 am

Thank you, these things are a HOOT!

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Re: Mother-in-Law Talk - 11/23

Postby frommyheart2urs » Sun Jan 23, 2011 7:00 am

Michelle peered through the peephole at the woman standing on her doorstep. She breathed in deeply and pushed out her negative energy as she exhaled, and opened the door for her mother in law.
“Sarah, how nice to see you.” Michelle opened her arms for a hug, but wasn’t too surprised when Sarah patted her hand instead. They weren’t very close and the only thing they had in common was their love for Peter, and the fact they would do anything to make him happy, like spending time together alone.
“So Sarah, to what do I owe this visit?” Michelle poured two glasses of lemonade and joined Sarah at the kitchen table.
“I was out running errands and thought I would stop by.” Sarah smiled politely and took a sip of her lemonade. “It’s almost dinner time dear; shouldn’t you be cooking something for Peter?”
Michelle shook her head as thoughts of Sarah choking on a seed from the lemonade began to creep into her mind. She didn’t particularly care for Sarah, but she didn’t really want her dead. “No, he’s going to pick something up on his way home.”
“Well when I was married I cooked my husband three meals a day.”
As Michelle listened to Sarah go on about how different things were now than when she was married, she noticed that she seemed a bit disheveled. Her shirt was un-tucked and her pants were wrinkled. Her hair looked as though she hadn’t run a comb through it at all, and then Michelle noticed a scratch on her arm.
“So, what errands brought you out our way?” Michelle was determined to get to the real reason for her mother in laws surprise visit.
“Well, this morning I was working in my garden and I realized I needed some things for my roses.”
“So did you get that scratch while you were gardening?”
“I brushed up against the door of the shed when I was getting my tools out.” Sarah quickly covered her scratch with her hand.
“And you didn’t want to put anything on it?” Michelle stood and walked to the medicine cabinet to retrieve a band aid for Sarah.
“It didn’t hurt, so I didn’t even think to put anything on it,” Sarah replied as she took the band aid from her daughter in law. “Thank you dear.”
Before Michelle could inquire any further into Sarah’s strange behavior, Sarah’s phone began to ring. But when Sarah didn’t make a move to answer it, and it peaked Michelle’s curiosity even more.
“Aren’t you going to get that?”
“”No, I don’t think so.” But when it began to ring again, Sarah quickly pulled her phone out of her purse. “I don’t know why Peter made me get this. It’s more of a nuisance than anything else.”
“Are you referring to the phone, or that?” Michelle stared curiously at the rubber chicken peaking out at her from inside Sarah’s Prada purse.
“This was a bad idea.” Sarah said quickly shoving the chicken further into her purse.
“Just wait a minute. You came here for a reason, so you might as well tell me what that is.” Michelle motioned for Sarah sit back down, and she did.
Sarah paused to compose herself. “Well, I’ve met someone. He’s a traveling salesman who sales novelty items.”
It was then that Michelle realized Sarah had come to her for dating advice. “Well, that’s great, Sarah.”
“I thought so too, until today, when I caught cheating. The more he tried to explain the more upset I got. And before I knew it, I had picked this up and started hitting him with it,” Sarah said holding up the chicken by its neck, and laughing a little as she fought back tears. “I hit him so hard; one of the legs came off. And my arm got scratched in the scuffle.” Unable to control her laughter any longer, she doubled over in her seat. “You should have seen his face, it was hilarious.”
As Michelle laughed at the outrageous story, she found it ironic that it wasn’t Peter that caused them to bond; but rather a rubber chicken and their mutual distain for idiotic men.

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RE: Mother-in-Law Talk - 11/23

Postby marylucille » Wed Jan 26, 2011 5:33 am

“Alice, hold on a minute while call your son and let him know we are going to the park.” I said as I moved towards the phone sitting on the table.

“I will be on the porch waiting for you.” My mother-in-law replied as she stepped outside.
Before I could answer the phone it rang.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Tori, I just wanted to let you know that my mother…” Todd managed to get out before the phone cut out and the call was dropped.

Really? Right now? I never dropped a call until we were blessed with a new provider! Ugh! I thought to myself as I dialed Todd back praying he would answer and tell me what was going on with his mother. She looked like a mess.

“Come on Todd, just answer the phone.” I said to myself as I held the phone to my ear.

Disappointment filled me when I heard the voice mail pick up.

“Todd, your mother is with me. Something odd is going on! If it isn’t odd enough that she wants to get to know me since she can’t stand me 364 days out of the year but she has a rubber chicken with a missing foot. I am going to take her to the park to walk and try and find out what is going on. Call me, I will have my cell phone.”

After hanging up the phone, I tossed it into my purse and impatiently headed for the car. We drove to the park in silence. I was not sure what to say and Alice seemed to be in her own little world watching the cars pass by. The entire time I tried to run all the possible sane reasons she would have a rubber chicken with a missing foot. Also what was bugging me was the odd shaped cut on her arm.

“Finally we are here, what a perfect day for a walk.” Alice broke the silence as she opened the car door and started walking towards the trails without looking back to see if I was coming.

I jumped out and locked the car. I walked quickly to catch up with my mother-in-law thankful she left the rubber chicken behind.

“Alice, what happen to your arm?” I asked trying to sound nonchalant.

“It is nothing, just an accident.” She replied unsuspicious of my question.

“Anyways, how about we take the long trail around the pines and heart pond?” She asked.

“That is a mile. Are you up to it?” I asked shocked she would even want to take that trail. It is untraveled since most people preferred a paved walking trail.

“Yea, that is the best one. It upsets me when people walk behind you listening in. You know what I mean?” She explained.

“I guess, so what is on your mind anyways?” I asked trying to get to the point before we were a mile away from civilization.

“Tori, I have been thinking. Uh…how do I put this? I have been wrong all these years. I always thought that I had everyone figured out.”

Alice paused and looked at me for a moment while I waited for her to continue. I could not believe she was about to say I am sorry for all the years of agony she put me through. She sighed and the silence continued a moment longer until we heard Todd screaming behind us.

“Mom, Stop!”

I could see two other people running behind Todd. As they got closer I could see they were police officers.
I looked at Alice to see her pointing a gun at me. Fear shot through me and shock stopped me from saying a word. I stared at my mother-in-law scared and confused listening to Todd as he explained it all.

“Mom we know you killed dad with the rubber chicken somehow. We found the foot you stuffed down his throat. Put down the gun mom, Tori didn’t do anything this time.”

We both looked at Todd with a glare.

This time, what is he talking about?!? I thought to myself.

“Todd you don’t understand. I heard your father tell me about how he didn’t want my rubber chicken for dinner the last time! My chicken does not taste like rubber and your little wife had to call you to tell you where I was. She is the last person you people would have thought to look for me with.”

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Re: Mother-in-Law Talk - 11/23

Postby Trissa » Fri Mar 11, 2011 8:49 am

"Hey, Julia, I got that promotion," my husband gushed over the phone.

"Fantastic! Are we going to celebrate tonight?"

"In a way, Jules" he spoke hesitatingly. "We'll be celebrating, but we won't be going out. The boss will be coming to our house for dinner."

"What?" My mind went blank. "How did that happen?"

"After he told me about the promotion, he said something about how you would be excited. One thing lead to another. I bragged up your chicken and dumplings. He said, 'When do I get an invite?' I said, 'How about tonight?'"

"Great...just great. You realize your mother is here today." At that I heard a click on the extension of the house phone.

My mother-in-law. Big Blanche aka. Leather Lungs Lawson. She was called that by her immediate family; first, because she was built like a linebacker. Second, because when she attended her children's (and grandchildren's) sporting events, she was the loudest Bleacher Referee be it football, basketball, baseball. I had been a cheer leader back "in the day". That's how I met her son, my husband -- Chet. She never forgave me for that as she had higher sights set for him; their neighbor's daughter who became a veterinarian. I'm a lowly school secretary.

"Guess you heard?"

Blanche gave me one of her rare smiles. "It's a good thing I'm here, Julia. I can help you now."

I shuddered. Blanche was never nice to me without an ulterior motive. But today I couldn't worry about it. "Thanks," I replied. "I need to get the chicken going..."

"Why don't you let me do that? You go get yourself all prettied up. Chet always liked my chicken and dumplings better." With that, she sashayed into my kitchen. I learned long ago to never argue with "Leather Lungs", so I obediently headed for the bathroom.

Thirty minutes, a hot shower, and two shaved legs later I decided it was time to check on Blanche. Imagine my surprise when I caught her stuffing a rubber chicken into the pan!

"Blanche Lawson! You're trying to sabotage me!"

She turned and it was then that I saw the slice on her arm. Her eyes were glazed, her smile slightly maniacal. "Not sabotage. Just righting an incredible wrong after all these years. You're not good enough for Chet. You can't live up to the expectations of his new job."

"But a one-legged rubber chicken? You're the one who will ruin his chances if this dish gets served to his boss."

"No...you did it. You can't handle the pressure. You prepared a rubber chicken with dumplings. He'll see you're incompetent. Then it's "hello to the new Mrs. Chet Lawson -- Alice the veterinarian."

Blanche took another swipe at the chicken as she diced it into smeller pieces. She hummed as she hacked away, almost taking a finger off. I ran into my bedroom, locked the door, and dialed "911" from the phone in there. EMTs were just taking Big Blanche out as Chet drove up. She was strapped tightly to a gurney.

"Where's your boss," I asked casually.

Chet's mouth fell open at the sight of his mother being put into an ambulance. "What are they doing with my mother?"

"A little incident in the kitchen. They're taking her to Serenity Hills for observation."

Chet's eyes then wandered to my right hand where I was swinging a hacked up, one-legged rubber chicken. Looking back at his mother, he gave her a tentative wave. She grinned back and started to cackle like a chicken.

"My boss will be here shortly. Went home to change and pick up his wife."

I turned back toward the house, chicken swinging as I walked. "Better call him and let him know we're eating out after all."

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Re: Mother-in-Law Talk - 11/23

Postby anyuta34i » Mon Mar 14, 2011 5:12 pm

When the 6morning arrived the Druids would give a piece of wood from their fires to each family,then they would take them home to start new cooking fires.These fires would keep the homes warm and free from evil

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Re: Mother-in-Law Talk - 11/23

Postby anyuta34i » Mon Mar 14, 2011 5:12 pm

When the 6morning arrived the Druids would give a piece of wood from their fires to each family,then they would take them home to start new cooking fires.These fires would keep the homes warm and free from evil

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RE: Mother-in-Law Talk - 11/23

Postby frommyheart2urs » Sun May 22, 2011 5:11 pm

For Pete's Sake

Michelle peered through the peephole at the woman standing on her doorstep. She breathed in deeply and pushed out her negative energy as she exhaled, and opened the door for her mother in law.
“Sarah, how nice to see you.” Michelle opened her arms for a hug, but wasn’t too surprised when Sarah patted her hand instead. They weren’t very close and the only thing they had in common was their love for Peter, and the fact they would do anything to make him happy, like spending time together alone.
“So Sarah, to what do I owe this visit?” Michelle poured two glasses of lemonade and joined Sarah at the kitchen table.
“I was out running errands and thought I would stop by.” Sarah smiled politely and took a sip of her lemonade. “It’s almost dinner time dear; shouldn’t you be cooking something for Peter?”
Michelle shook her head as thoughts of Sarah choking on a seed from the lemonade began to creep into her mind. She didn’t particularly care for Sarah, but she didn’t really want her dead. “No, he’s going to pick something up on his way home.”
“Well when I was married I cooked my husband three meals a day.”
As Michelle listened to Sarah go on about how different things were now than when she was married, she noticed that she seemed a bit disheveled. Her shirt was un-tucked and her pants were wrinkled. Her hair looked as though she hadn’t run a comb through it at all, and then Michelle noticed a scratch on her arm.
“So, what errands brought you out our way?” Michelle was determined to get to the real reason for her mother in laws surprise visit.
“Well, this morning I was working in my garden and I realized I needed some things for my roses.”
“So did you get that scratch while you were gardening?”
“I brushed up against the door of the shed when I was getting my tools out.” Sarah quickly covered her scratch with her hand.
“And you didn’t want to put anything on it?” Michelle stood and walked to the medicine cabinet to retrieve a band aid for Sarah.
“It didn’t hurt, so I didn’t even think to put anything on it,” Sarah replied as she took the band aid from her daughter in law. “Thank you dear.”
Before Michelle could inquire any further into Sarah’s strange behavior, Sarah’s phone began to ring. But when Sarah didn’t make a move to answer it, and it peaked Michelle’s curiosity even more.
“Aren’t you going to get that?”
“”No, I don’t think so.” But when it began to ring again, Sarah quickly pulled her phone out of her purse. “I don’t know why Peter made me get this. It’s more of a nuisance than anything else.”
“Are you referring to the phone, or that?” Michelle stared curiously at the rubber chicken peaking out at her from inside Sarah’s Prada purse.
“This was a bad idea.” Sarah said quickly shoving the chicken further into her purse.
“Just wait a minute. You came here for a reason, so you might as well tell me what that is.” Michelle motioned for Sarah sit back down, and she did.
Sarah paused to compose herself. “Well, I met someone. He’s a traveling salesman who sales novelty items.”
It was then that Michelle realized Sarah had come to her for dating advice. “Well, that’s great, Sarah.”
“I thought so too, until today, when I caught cheating. The more he tried to explain the more upset I got. And before I knew it, I had picked this up and started hitting him with it,” Sarah said holding up the chicken by its neck, and laughing a little as she fought back tears. “I hit him so hard; one of the legs came off. And my arm got scratched in the scuffle.”
As Michelle laughed at the outrageous story, she found it ironic that it wasn’t Peter that caused them to bond; but rather a rubber chicken and their mutual distain for idiotic men.

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Re: Mother-in-Law Talk - 11/23

Postby AbbyJ » Sun Jun 05, 2011 12:30 pm

Margarita hurried to the door, towel on her head, toothbrush in her mouth, wondering who was trying to visit twenty minutes before she had to leave for work. Looking through the peep-whole, she gasped: it was her evil mother-in law, Betsey. Betsey deeply resented her for stealing her beloved “Matty-Matt,” and so vehemently disapproved of their marriage.
Margarita cursed silently. She had to go to work, but turning Betsey away would be like denying a summons from the Queen. Quickly, she tossed her toothbrush into the umbrella bucket and opened the door.
“Hello, Betsey,” she said sweetly.
“Why, hello, dear,” Betsey replied, quickly glancing to her left and right. “The police don’t often come round here, do they?” She asked hopefully.
Margarita blinked. “As much as is normal, I suppose…,” she said slowly.
Betsey nodded distractedly. “What interesting hair,” she commented.
Margarita coughed embarrassedly and tried to dismiss the police comment as normal behaviour. “Won’t you come in?”
“I’d be glad to,” Betsey said rather desperately, and hurried into the house. As she did so, her flowy sleeve fell away from her arm, revealing a gash.
Margarita gasped. “Do you need a plaster?” She asked, her eyes wide.
“Oh, no,” Betsey replied. She fidgeted, and looked hastily around her. “This visit isn’t about me, it’s about you! I just realized this morning that I barely know you!”
Margarita just stared. Something was definitely wrong.
“Is Matt alright?” She asked Betsey anxiously.
“Oh yes, Matt’s fine,” Betsey said vaguely. “Now, do you like gardening, of course you do, where’s your garden?”
“In the…yard,” Margarita replied uncertainly, trailing off as Betsey went whizzing off to the backyard. Margarita followed nervously, her senses piqued. Betsey was up to no good, she was sure of it. In the yard, she found Betsey kneeling on the ground over the tulips.
“Mind if I bury something in here?” She asked in the unnaturally high-pitched voice she had not dropped since she walked in the door.
“Er…what?”
“Thank you!” Betsey trilled. She reached into her enormous, black leather handbag and produced a rubber chicken. It was missing a foot.
Margarita could only gape as her ceremonial, uptight, conservative mother in law began digging in the garden with the enthusiasm of a terrier. She threw the chicken in the hole, quickly said a prayer, and began refilling the hole with great, slightly manic zeal.
The fact that the chicken was missing a foot was inexplicably ominous to Margarita. Though she was shocked beyond reason at Betsey’s odd behaviour, she was determined to get to the bottom of this mischief.
Suddenly, she had an idea. The greatest weapon she could possibly use, the one person that Betsey would do absolutely anything for (except like her, of course), was Matt.
“Betsey,” Margarita said sweetly. “You know, Matt just painted the loo last week…he’s so proud of it. And…we had a little mini-ribbon-cutting ceremony, you know, just to be cute, and he dedicated it to you!” This was not exactly true. Matt and Margarita had slaved over the loo for weeks, each sustaining an injury before it was completely “North Sea Green.” But she found lying necessary under the circumstances. “It was ever so adorable…would you like to take a look?”
Betsey looked on the verge of joyful tears. “Of course!” She cried, scrambling up. Margarita led her eager mother-in-law to the upstairs bathroom, wistfully wishing she could lock her in.
“Alright, I’ll be waiting for you downstairs!” Margarita said quickly. The minute she shut the door on Betsey, she scampered downstairs, flew to the backyard, and tore open Betsey’s handbag. She began pulling out objects at random and tossing them in the grass: a glass case, tissues, a teabag...a bottle of fake blood?
Margarita swallowed…what was going on? Near the first bottle was a case of foundation and a red makeup pencil. Feeling something was terribly awry, she began to ransack the handbag with even more fury. At the bottom of the handbag, she found a rather interesting book.
Margarita could only shake her head as she read the title:
“How to Get Rid of Your Daughter-in-Law: 100 Lovely Ideas That Will Send Her Scarpering!”
With just a gentle shake, the book flipped open to a dog-eared page. It read, “From In-Law to Outlaw! Convince your daughter-in-law you’ve committed a crime, perhaps adding that you are a rampant lawbreaker! Tip: casually say it runs in the family.”

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