Peculiar Gift 08/15-08/21

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Peculiar Gift 08/15-08/21

Postby Brian » Tue Aug 15, 2006 10:57 am

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Peculiar Gift 08/15-08/21

Postby Brian » Tue Aug 15, 2006 10:57 am

What's the most peculiar gift you've ever received? Describe the scene when you opened it and your reaction.

Please limit your response to 500 words or fewer.

Kathleen in Holland

RE: Peculiar Gift 08/15-08/21

Postby Kathleen in Holland » Wed Aug 16, 2006 7:26 pm

My most peculiar gift was an alligator. It arrived in the White Plains, NY post office addressed to me, but the invitation to show up in person to pick it up came from the police, not the postal authorities. Why was this? The alligator had bitten the hand of the first person who opened his crate to feed him. This was not a good thing to do, send your teacher a live alligator all the way from Florida to White Plains. It was cruel and inhuman, even for a bunch of vacationing teens on Spring Break. My next stop was the Bronx Zoo, which offered to take the alligator and give him a good home with other "cayman lizards." The journey by car from White Plains to the Bronx is another story. The alligator's first reaction on seeing other alligators? Flight, not fight. He did settle down in the Bronx, where I visited him now and then. But that was years ago.

Lady Jan
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RE: Peculiar Gift 08/15-08/21

Postby Lady Jan » Thu Aug 17, 2006 8:10 pm

After anouncing to my Aunt and Uncle that I wanted to be an artist, at Christmas I received a gift from my Aunt and Uncle.

I opened the box, and thought, what in the world? "A Paint by number set?"
Then my mom gushed filling in the pause that question brought. "Isn't that nice Dear? What a nice gift. Say thank you."
"Um, thanks. I'm sure the (God awful) paint by numbers of Blue Boy will look real interesting when it's finished." I said as I forced a smile.

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RE: Peculiar Gift 08/15-08/21

Postby midknight » Fri Aug 18, 2006 7:47 pm


Milestone Birthdays - ya know, the biggies: 21, 30, 40, 50 (I presume, & so forth). Ways of marking one’s life, I suppose, but, for me at least, often flakey, or just plain strange. Such was the one I experienced last month. Well, strange is probably just a tad harsh, as, in fact, it was just really different, as birthdays go, and pleasantly surprising. I guess you could say that I was Birth Dazed! The results of the celebration have turned out to be way beyond my usual come to be expected expectations. I now have a new lady in my life – life is good!

My ol’ good buddy, “Duddy” (OK, Mark then), gave me a card for my 40th birthday. I was born on March 15th, ya know the old Shakespearean ‘Beware the Ides of March’ thing. Duds and I had a standard joke about it. To celebrate the event, we had intended to go out for drinks and dins and see if we could pull any birds, as we both had refound our “single” status again over the past couple of years and pickin’s were a tad slimmish. Opening the card, I was resolved for the typical “Best Wishes” blah-de-blah. But, this is where the strange part began – inside was a caricature of his face winking at me, and a little verse (he never was much of a poet!):

“Beware the Ides of March!

Ich liebe dich, man, s’il vous plais.
I know what you REALLY want today.
If you ain’t up to feelin’ your quadecade age & wanna be truly alive,
At 7:30 tonight, roll up to 312 Luckley Drive.
Knock thrice, then once, then twice more.
Have faith and close your eyes, and open the door!

Afterwards then, meet me at Harry’s (IF you still want to!)”

OK, I give. What’s the gag? Typically cryptic Duddy! Thrice? Does ANYone EVER use that word? And combining bad German and French together – Duds doesn’t really know either one! And, IF I STILL want to? What the hell did that mean? (Harry’s was a bar we frequented that had a pretty reasonable feed – their chicken fried steak was the “Bested in the Westest!” Always thought that was odd, since Harry’s was in the East.)

Mark was a good bud and was good fun to be with, most of the fun I had had in my life for some time now. Even though I was a bit shagged from a long week at work, I thought I’d humour the bastard – who knows, maybe he got me a new boat! I checked out the address in the local Funk & Wagnell’s - it was more or less on the way to Harry’s.

It had taken me all of 3.12 seconds to realise that the designated knocking was synonymous with the address. Found number 312 and knocked according to the required instruction. Then, the hard bit, actually DID close my eyes and opened the door. My nostrils were assuaged with the fragrance of a captivating perfume, sort of mystical – exotic and alluring – h-m-m-m - musk. I jumped slightly as a soft hand warmly took mine and placed it on a well-endowed breast. A sensuous voice with an unfamiliar lilt – unmistakably feminine, and obviously close by, said tenderly, “You can open your eyes now, Birthday Boy.”

18/08/06 midknight
"When only the right words will do."

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RE: Peculiar Gift 08/15-08/21

Postby Vera » Sat Aug 19, 2006 11:39 am

The small boat crashed into the oncoming waves sending the sea spray high into the air,
taking me to my island rendezvous and a birthday surprise.

Cat Island is a mystical island in the Bahamas that has intricate details and mind-boggling circumstances that is impossible to believe. Here, time stands still and modern technologies almost unknown. It is said that if Christopher Columbus and the Spanish Explorers who discovered the island in 1492 were to return, they would be able to find their way around.

Added to this mystery is the single unpaved road lined with small dilapidated wooden houses nestled under the trees. Some of the doors and windows were still opened, as if the occupants had left in a hurry, never to return. Who were these people, I pondered and why did they leave this peaceful place.

I had met the young school children several years ago, and it was they who had invited me back to spend my birthday with them. I gladly accepted their invitation to attend a night of story telling around the fire. We settled down for entertainment that could be the envy
of Hollywood Movie Producers.

Sparks shot high into the air as the wood crackled and burned. The tales were vivid, and I finally found out about the deserted houses. Some of the occupants had vanished while working in the fields, others were led away by birds into the forest, while others sank beneath the sea. I jumped nervously when the flames popped, and later that night I made sure that all the windows were closed tight.

This is what the children did to cope with the isolation, they used their imagination.

The next morning we left early to find my unusual gift which was located some distance away. We traveled deep into the forest past the Bat Cave, and Ocean Hole to a deserted beach on the other side of the island. As we neared, I was blind folded, then untied at the shouts of "Suprise".

Adjusting my vision to what the children was focused upon, I saw a huge image in the shallow waters which looked like a wiggling doormat, but soon realized that this was no doormat, but an ugly fish with two eyes on the cheek. The fish opened it's mouth
as if preparing to lunge for a meal, ME.

I remember seeing the children's happy faces before I crumbled in a faint in the sand.

Carole Daley
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The Oddest Gift I Ever Received

Postby Carole Daley » Wed Sep 06, 2006 10:19 am

At twenty-two I was a debt-ridden college graduate. I lived in an empty apartment and drove the cheapest car available. My significant other had two expensive cars, a beach house, a condo in town and I suppose my penury hadn’t escaped his notice. But, I had a job and was on my own—who could wish for more?

As many young women, I wished for romance. I wanted romance and I expected romantic things from my boyfriend. What I wanted and what I got were two different things. For instance, I wanted long walks on the beach. He preferred to sit on the beach and read a book. I liked to run in the early morning hours when the town was quiet and the streets were deserted. He liked to sleep in.

His gift selection fell short in the romance department as well. I still remember how thrilled I was on the morning of my birthday when a florist truck pulled up to my door. My hopes were quickly dashed when I saw the huge bouquet wasn't romantic red roses, but a “spring assortment” that my mother would have loved.

I guess the cookbooks he gave me for Christmas were a hint that I should learn how to cook; and, the expensive camera with the prepaid photography class were a reflection of his hope that I would become a world famous photographer. But I still longed for romance.

As Valentine’s Day approached I was ever hopeful--decadent chocolates, sexy lingerie, a beautiful necklace? After all it was Valentine’s Day, a holiday reserved for romance. With a happy heart and an expectant smile, I opened a beautifully wrapped, but oddly heavy box, as my boyfriend looked on. What I got was a steam iron--he had hidden the ironing board in his car.


RE: Peculiar Gift 08/15-08/21

Postby Expressive_dance » Wed Nov 08, 2006 12:39 pm

I looked at the soft red tissue covering my gift. Carefully lifting the sheets, I found a white cotton shirt. "lift it up, unfold it" everyone says. I pinch the material and shake it loose of the forced wrinkles. Big bold black words, blue stars and a red heart. it reads "I love Chicken Poop".

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