Computer Woes - 3/29

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tourmeline
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Re: Computer Woes - 3/29

Postby tourmeline » Wed May 25, 2011 8:01 am

. . .and muttered as he turned, “What the hell am I doing here?”
…........................................................

“I could ask the same question but I don't suppose I'd get an answer.”

How did that get there? Delete..delete..delete..

“Oh, cut that out.”

What … I think I'm losing it. I know I didn't type that!

“Well, duh. You've been typing line after line of hackneyed drivel for months, now and I'm plain tired of it.”

WHO is doing that!?

“Man, you are S L OOOW, aren't you. OK, pay attention, 'cause I'm going to make this really simple. Ready? This is your computer talking. “

Alright, fine, someone has hacked into my computer and they're just playing with me. Enough, already. I have work to do and I don't have time for your nonsense. (And if this is Connor, I'm going to murder you.) I'm on a deadline and my hero is running in circles.

“Yeah, that's what I want to talk about. I can't stand watching you turn out this crap without at least trying to help.”

Help?

“Yeah, help. For starters, the murder weapon - The frozen leg of lamb that gets thawed and eaten was pretty clever the first time it was used, but you don't remember that because you weren't born then.”

It was a pork roast.

“Whatever. Now a really creative twist would be . . .

A lot later.....

This is amazing! It's better than anything I've ever written. Now if the 'computer' will just pull the ending out of my brain and type it for me, I can call my agent and make her very happy.

“Whoa. Out of YOUR what? You don't think you wrote this? I spend hours putting the thing together for you and you don't just not bother to thank me, you don't even believe in me? You said it yourself, you've never written anything this good. Fine!”

. . . .

. . . .

No! Where are you? Sniff. Computer?? Sniff. Snivel. Computer, come back. I need you! Sniff, drip, tear.

“Hey, watch it! Tears! Wet! ELECTRONICS! SSSsssizzllle.”

UhOh. Computer? I won't be hearing from you again, will I? It's been . . well, if it's been real, I guess - - Thanks.

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