George Washington on Twitter - 2/22

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George Washington on Twitter - 2/22

Postby Brian » Tue Feb 22, 2011 4:40 am

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George Washington on Twitter - 2/22

Postby Brian » Tue Feb 22, 2011 4:40 am

What if George Washington were running for president today? Write several Twitter tweets of 140 characters or fewer from his point of view. They can be serious about issues, humorous about his adjustment to 21st century social media—anything you want.

You can post your response (750 words or fewer) here.

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Re: George Washington on Twitter - 2/22

Postby HAFowler » Wed Feb 23, 2011 5:39 am

See what you think of my results. :)

* I do not understand how an intelligent person believes they can express any useful thought in 140 characters.

* Well, I just did exactly that. Perhaps there is something to this “Tweet” after all. Birds have always been divine messengers.

* I do not, however, need to know what this musician called Justin Bieber had for breakfast. Has he any role in the doings of this country?

* I see. Respondents tell me that he does have great sway in the modern world, and that many are fiercely invested in what he eats. Strange.

* What does it mean to lead a country in which a child from another, known best for his hairstyle, affects the opinion of its citizens?

* Please do not ask me to consider this Lady Gaga of which I’ve heard. She is far beyond my ken.

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Re: George Washington on Twitter - 2/22

Postby avalanche_of_elysium » Wed Feb 23, 2011 5:46 am


Made me snicker. Good post! I think George Washington and I are on the same page. :)

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RE: George Washington on Twitter - 2/22

Postby loganatr » Wed Feb 23, 2011 7:21 am

-Tv interview 2nite! So excited to address the nation!

-...Ouch. “Didn't test well.” Told to lose the wooden teeth

-Had a “big mac” today. Martha told me she's moving out if my flatulence doesn't stop soon.

-Just discovered limp bizkit!!!!!!!! Chamber music ftl

-fourscore and seven years ago... we still had segregation. Fail.

-West coast rules! More pretentious than hamilton but can't imagine living anywhere else

-Lee, Halladay, Oswalt, n Hamels? Been dead 200 years and even i'm excited about this!!!!!!!!!!!

-Just discovered NWA. Hard to belive anybody ever liked that poop unicorns and rainbows. Gangster rap ftl. Its rebellion for idiots.

-Met with Obama today. He's a robot, like all the politicians I meet. All of them.

-All of them. CRRR! All of them. CRRR! All of them. CRRR! All of them. CRRR! All of them. CRRR!!


-All your base is belong to us.

-Disgusting fact of the day: smut has infiltrated teh interwebz. It's true, I saw a picture of a naked areola today.

-Almost too disgusted to type that last one.

-Today a young woman told me that I buttered her muffin. There was a certain look that told me it meant...

-...something else. Anybody heard this turn of phrase before? Help! I dont' wish to offend, and she looked...

-Very disappointed when I used that as a segue to talk about the innovative use of steam in today's society.

-All of them. CRRR! All of them. CRRR! All of them. CRRR! All of them. CRRR! All of them. CRRR!

-The best baseball team by far has to be the Cleveland Indians.

-Watched the Brady Bunch today. Can't stop saying “Martha, Martha, Martha.”

-Sleeping on the duvet tonight.

-Going to Africa to see the dangers of AIDS first-hand. No more slaves on the sly, they say! Haha I joke, america...

-I joke. On to Africa!

-I'm back. Christ, people, wear condoms.

-Gdbus' account has been closed. The nation says goodbye to a national hero on the night of his tragic but not unexpected death.

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Re: George Washington on Twitter - 2/22

Postby bobp » Wed Feb 23, 2011 3:49 pm

I see France is still causing problems, I appreciate the help they gave me, I couldn’t have won the war without them.

You brought me back why?

You think the country has lost its way and needs a leader that will return it to the founding principals.

I know I signed the Declaration of Independence, was at the constitutional convention, and was the 1st president under the New Constitution.

I don’t see what that’s got to do with it, I did this once, I just want so settle down and enjoy my life. Do you have any tobacco?

I died 200 years ago, so what?

You seriously mean that that is a political issue, that might affect a political campaign?

I’m still not interested. Why should I climb out of the grave to take the reigns of government? I just don’t see it.

What do you mean “Gun Control” doesn’t everyone have a gun?

The government does what?

They send people to the hospital for owning guns? Either you’re lying or just plain crazy.

I don’t believe it.

I need a drink.

What other problems are there?

The federal government is how far in debt?

We aren’t all of our clothes from England yet, the northern states were getting pretty good a tailoring as I recall.

We don’t have any major clothiers?

What other industries have been moved over seas:

Electronics, what are they.

The innards of radio, TV, computers, and just about everything else. I guess they are pretty important.

By the way what are all of those things?

We still produce all of our food at least, right.

Beef from Brazil, Oranges from Israel, Cocoa from Bolivia.

I never heard of any of those places. Well except for Israel, and that country disappeared with the Romans at Masada.

By the way how did you get me here?

Try me.

Temporal what? Never mind.

OK, let’s say I agree to run, do you have enough money to run a campaign, Last time no one ran against me.

How much did you say you have raise, that’s more than I need to run the country.

Welfare, Social Security, Medicare, retirements, unions, what is all that stuff?

No wonder you are having problems. You spend money like a drunken sailor, no a shipload of drunken sailors.

Why do you think I didn’t want to be buried in the Capitol, we wanted to do away with royalty.

Why do you think I could be president?

Name recognition, image, that’s it?

My picture is on the one dollar bill.

Show me.

Not a bad likeness and you think that this will get me elected?

What do you mean all I need to do is run, you will do the rest?

You have a program that you want me to carry out.

Let’s see what you have.

What do you mean later? I need to see what I am supposed to stand for before I agree to anything.

That’s not the way I work, I am not a pawn. I run my own show. I will gladly work with you, if . . .

You say I can see your plan tomorrow. I’m looking forward to it.

What is this think tank?

Who run it? I will need to meet them.

You can’t? Then I won’t.

How much time?

Who would I be running against?

A woman! Well I guess it had to happen sometime.

Tell me a little about her.

What does she want to do, if she is elected?

I see, and you have a problem with that?

I agree with a lot of what she says, why do you want me to run against her. She understands the culture, I don’t.

My picture’s on the one.

I’m sorry, I agree that you’ve got a real mess to deal with, but I’m not the one to fix it for you. Send me back.

I mean it, send me back.

No I don’t want to look around, I’ve seen enough, just send me back.

You can’t. OK where will I live? I assume my fortune is long gone, and I’m too old to canvas the unexplored country as a surveyor.

That’s blackmail.

Ok I’ll run.

This twitter thing is interesting, I here that I can make everything we said public.

Why not? I’m dead I have nothing to lose.

I see.

I think that is a wise decision, I’m too old for politics.

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Re: George Washington on Twitter - 2/22

Postby mdcoit9 » Fri Feb 25, 2011 4:05 am

George Washington
@ Dollar Dollar Bill Y'all

I'm the original Dubya

You can also call me G. Wash

I wonder if I rub my teeth together long enough, will I spit hot fiyah

Rick Ross the Boss? Ha, I'm the biggest Boss that you're seen thus far! My birthday's a holiday and my names more popular. Plus, I ran the country first

A young lady offered to dance a jig in exchange for dollars. I wonder what that means?

Should I pimp my carriage?

MTV Cribs called, they want me to give a tour of my crib

Cherry Gate! Are you serious?

A kid told me I was dressed like an oompah loompah

Martha was asked to appear on The Reall Housewives of Washington DC

Which horse is the fastest? A Lambourghini or Ferrari?

Who needs ID, I'm on the dollar bill

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Re: George Washington on Twitter - 2/22

Postby Buttered_Toast » Fri Feb 25, 2011 5:14 am

@mdcoit9 -- May I interject and state how your post was hilarious?  Awesome. :)

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Re: George Washington on Twitter - 2/22

Postby mdcoit9 » Fri Feb 25, 2011 9:46 am

Thx! I'm a twisted human being! LOL

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Re: George Washington on Twitter - 2/22

Postby Trissa » Sat Feb 26, 2011 9:54 am

-- First in war; first in peace; first in the hearts of my countrymen. Yet I married a widow.

-- Seriously, I was not a gold digger despite the fact that she owned five plantations when we wed.

-- Martha is a published author. Have you read her cookbook?

-- Whatever happened to the Whigs and Torries?

-- No, I don't mean Lady Gaga's tresses or that Spelling woman.

-- An elephant and a donkey? Two different continents altogether.

-- I didn't want the office. Why would anyone want it?

-- I was not as dull as you think. I partied hearty with Ben Franklin! Madeira for everybody!

-- If Ben had his way, you would be eating our nation's symbol -- the turkey -- every Thanksgiving.

-- You people talk about this Bill Clinton and his dalliances. We had Thomas Jefferson and Ben Franklin.

-- Does this powdered wig make my head look big?

-- Who is Jimmy Kimmel and what's a "talk show"?

-- I was told my running mate is a woman. Who is Oprah?

-- Now they tell me SHE is the one running for President and I'm the V.P. candidate. WTF?


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