New Holiday - 7/20

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Monkeypants
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Re: New Holiday - 7/20 Letter Wrting Day

Postby Monkeypants » Wed Jul 28, 2010 10:26 am

Shouldn't you have mailed that in... heh heh... ;)

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Monkeypants
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Re: New Holiday - 7/20 Letter Wrting Day

Postby Monkeypants » Wed Jul 28, 2010 10:26 am

Shouldn't you have mailed that in... heh heh... ;)

greenpeach06
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Re: New Holiday - 7/20

Postby greenpeach06 » Mon Aug 16, 2010 3:34 pm

Lol @Monkeypants...

writerperson
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RE: New Holiday - National Gorge Day December 31st

Postby writerperson » Mon Dec 06, 2010 6:23 am

As the President of Fair Productions, I am proud to announce the immediate commencement of National Gorge Day.

This delightful holiday is now established to honor all of the people who strive for better health each year. We will show our respect to the people who sweat, stretch and stink up their running outfits and our air every day—all in the name of better health! Effective as of this December 31, 2010, everyone without exception can participate in the joyful and shared experience of eating whatever delightful, fattening, disgusting, vile, inappropriate food that his or her heart desires.

Fats, Carbs, sugar, high-fat animal protein, alcoholic beverages and any nasty artificial product that normally would repulse you, may be ingested to celebrate "National Gorge Day". Have you been avoiding Twinkies and MacDonald’s? Well, now to celebrate our countries new National Gorge Day—Go for it! It is the one day a year everyone should run out to their local Golden Arches, and eat until he or she pukes. Even in this poor economy, we can all afford a bag of chicken Mac nuggets!

For a remarkable 24 hour period you may forget about the gym, the silly spandex outfits, running, power-walking, weight-lifting, power sneakers and yoga. This is your day to enjoy shoving every edible food-product down your throat in record speed. On this day Gorging is not only good, but is a required activity from all citizens of these United States of America. Honor our Country; eat like the pigs that you are!

In fact, anyone found engaging in any of the above mentioned “healthy” activities will immediately be arrested and sentenced to a one year term in the newly designed Washington DC’s secured facility, affectionately named: The Gorge Protestor’s National Prison. You don’t want to be bending over in your spandex outfits in that place. Trust me.

In an effort to bring people together, as a special method to observe this scared new holiday, strategically placed vomit buckets will be available on every city block, in every town of the Untied States. We live together as a people; let us puke together as a nation, as we celebrate, “National Gorge Day’.

In order to commemorate this new holiday, on each December 31st Fair Productions will make available to the public specially designed tee shirts. That’s right; you can purchase your very own National Gorge Day tee shirt available in sizes 1X – 20XXXXXXXXX. The shirts will be available online and in all health food stores as of this December 31st. This incredible bargain may be purchased for only $29.99!

National Gorge Day is a completely patriotic holiday, not only created to bring joy and unity to all the people in our country, fat and thin alike; but with the selfless intention of stimulating our sluggish and revolting economy.

What are you waiting for? December 31st is right around the corner. Beat the stampede to the bakeries, food markets, candy stores, Costco’s and Dollar Stores. Don’t forget you can pre-purchase your food products from all of your favorite fast-food restaurants today—that’s not really food anyway, it doesn’t spoil!

Remember, from this time throughout infamy, ask not what you can do for your health, but what can you do to support your country!

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avalanche_of_elysium
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RE: New Holiday - 7/20

Postby avalanche_of_elysium » Tue Dec 07, 2010 9:15 am

I am a Ruthenian-American, and Ruthenian-Americans get no respect.

You might think I'm joking - you might ask, what on earth is Ruthenia?

Well, I am descended from one of the dying ethnic groups of Europe, a country that is not officially on the map, called Carpatho-Rusyn.

We deserve a month dedicated to us.

Hello, there are months dedicated to women, African-Americans, Asian-Americans, Mexican-Americans - what about us Ruthenian-Americans, huh?

Ott
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RE: New Holiday - 7/20

Postby Ott » Mon Jan 17, 2011 6:16 pm

Various holy days interrupt, punctuate, or relieve the daily lives of those who observe them. This is usually done in the name of religion or patriotism, and often is little more than a day of rest for most people who have little if any connection to the event being commemorated.
To the pantheon, we should include at least one annual observance; the Leave Me Alone day (LMAD). This observes the right of people to be left alone by the government, society, economic institutions, religious institutions, etc. It should be celebrated according to these principles:

1) LMAD is the expression of the individual, therefore the individual shall determine when, how, where, and why it is celebrated.

2) No institution of any kind is permitted to interfere with the free expression and practice of LMAD

3) By definition, actions of an individual on their chosen LMAD are not subject to criticism or constraint.

4) Individuals may declare their own LMAD by simply stating it, no prior announcement is required.

5) The observance of LMAD is a higher priority than other days, therefore, an individual may in good conscience declare any or all legal holidays as not applicable to them, substituting additional LMADS as replacement. Atheists therefore may replace Christmas, Easter, and Good Friday with three additional LMADs.

This day should be established immediately to benefit the bulk of Americans. Our Senators, Sports Figures, Movie Stars, and others already practice a form of it most days each year: It's the "I Can Do Anything I Want" day (ICDAIWD)

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