Groundhog Obit - 2/1

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ladyangel
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RE: Groundhog Obit - 2/1

Postby ladyangel » Wed Feb 02, 2011 8:10 am

Punxsutawney Phil passed away today. The beloved icon was a wonderful husband, beloved father, and son. He saw his last groundhog day today. Punxsutawney Phil died as he came out of his hole and began to look around to decide if we were ready for Spring, his heart gave out and he passed away. He will be missed by many as he has been loved nation wide for the caring way he carefully decided whether Winter was to be longer or if we would have an early Spring. Our hearts mourn his passing. There will be a memorial service on Friday the 4th at noon to Celebrate the life of our beloved groundhog Punxsutawney Phil.

RBMcK82
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Re: Groundhog Obit - 2/1

Postby RBMcK82 » Wed Feb 02, 2011 9:37 am

Often refferred to as "The World's Most Powerful Rodent," Julian Q. Groundsquirrel, who held the position of "Puxsutawney Phil," lived up to his nickname on Monday, plunging the country into chaos after his unexpected death. An attempt at a media blackout instituted by Punxsutawney authorities was no match for Twitter and Facebook, as the news of Punxsutawney's death spread across the nation at an astonishing speed. Despite the strictly ceremonial nature of the marmot's position as "America's Weatherman," cable news outlets soon trumpeted the arrival of a news ice age, causing citizens around the country to brave one of the worst winter storms in decades in order to stock up on supplies. Supermarket managers in most major cities report that civility is quickly degrading into mayhem, as citizens battle for the few remaining food items left on their shelves. President Obama has already declared a nationwide State of Emergency, and will address the country by television from the Oval Office at 6pm EST tonight. This anarchy resulting from his death is in some ways a fitting conclusion to a life that was frequently in disarray until he was thrust into his position of prominence by luck and family connections.

Born in New Haven, Connecticut to a long line of prominent Groundhogs, Mr. Groundsquirrel enjoyed an idyllic, and some would say privileged, upbringing, foraging some of the country's most prominent and well-to-do fields. As a young adult, while many in his cohort were diligently standing on their hind legs, looking for danger, many say Mr. Groundsquirrel could be found cavorting with tree far away from his burrow, although no official records from this time could be found. After an alfalfa binge that left his family without enough calories to survive their winter hibernation, Mr. Groundsquirrel again disappeared from view for a number of years, during which time his father held the position of Punxsutawney Phil for one term.

After his father was voted out of office, Mr. Groundsquirrel reappeared in Hamilton, PA, just a few miles northeast of Punxsutawney, as a burrow developer. While frequently criticized for building his burrows at an unsafe proximity to humans, who often enjoy hunting groundhogs for sport, Mr. Groundsquirrel nonetheless achieved a large amount of financial success through his burrow development business, and friends of his father soon began urging him to run for office. Mr. Groundsquirrel announced his controversial run for Punxsutawney Phil in the fall of 2002, and after a heated campaign with opponent Jake Monax, a former medical research rodent, and was elected to office by a margin so narrow that the outcome ultimately was decided by Punxsutawney Mayor Jake Werhle.

During his tenure as Punxsutawney Phil, Mr. Groundsquirrel often faced criticism that he was beholden to apparel industry, which hired hoards of lobbyists to push for the declaration of an early end to winter in order to boost sales of their spring collections. Mr. Groundsquirrel stirred up the greatest controversy when, on Feb 2. 2007, he emerged from his burrow only to quickly recede back into it, but declared an early end to winter regardless, attributing his quick retreat on a minor loss of consciousness induced by him choking on a pretzel.

Mr. Groundsquirrel is survived by his second wife Susie, and their son Julian Q. Groundsquirrel II.

Sincerity
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RE: Groundhog Obit - 2/1

Postby Sincerity » Thu Feb 03, 2011 8:16 am

Phillip Woodchuck, aka Punxsutawney Phil Groundhog --
Mr. Woodchuck died suddenly at his home on February 2 in preparation for his highly anticipated annual State of Winter’s End speech in Punxsutawney, PA. He was a respected and beloved member of the community who brought fame to his town from his role as a true and trusted prognosticator whose name was known around the world. The following article from USA News is reprinted in full below:


The death of a well known American icon, Phillip (Phil) Woodchuck-Groundhog occurred on February 2 at his home and business headquarters in Punxsutawney, PA. As he was about to deliver his annual proclamation to the assembled throng he suffered a fatal heart attack.

Observers reported that the normally small local crowd was at least thirty times larger than in past years. As the speaker left his below-ground bunker and slowly rose to greet the unexpectedly huge gathering, he appeared to be shaken and speechless. What happened next was a calamity. The camera lights of the TV crews and paparazzi exploded like dozens of small dynamite blasts, shutters clicked, microphones were aimed in his direction like rifles and voices screamed loudly, “It’s him, It’s him”!! The speaker gasped and tried to speak. Instead of drawing upon his mysterious powers to foretell how many more weeks of winter were left, he shouted, “DON’T SHOOT”! and fell backwards into the narrow underground portal he had moments before exited to make his speech, his bare feet (his trademark habit which conveyed his humble background) were sticking straight up in the air.

One of the reporters on the scene did say that the event must have seemed like an army attack to the normally reclusive fellow, causing him to suffer extreme shock and resulting heart failure. No foul play is suspected, but the investigation will be turned over to the local authorities in cooperationwith ASPCA officials. Lawyers for the family mentioned the possibility of a lawsuit against involved media staff involving incitement to create a riot.


“Punxsutawney Phil” was a very controversial figure. His clandestine behaviors and secret private life were a mystery to all those who patiently waited each year with great curiosity and anticipation on his end-of-winter predictions, always forthcoming on the second day of February. This was a matter of the greatest value to by millions of faithful followers in planning major projects, such as weddings, crop plantings, business start ups, home repairs, and vacations (to mention a few). Upon his revelation on this topic, people would find cause to initiate conversational furor that rippled over the land, sometimes resulting in revelry by the masses, but sometimes weeks of depression, depending on his prediction,

One would never know what to expect, but Phil’s proclamations were taken in great seriousness and many thousands of dollars were lost or won for those who chose to make bets on the accuracy of his claim on the number of weeks until winter’s end. This year will, most unfortunately, will not give loyal followers guidance on important life plans since Phil did not live long enough to make a proper public prediction. There will be much frustration and delay of critical seasonal planning likely for the nation at large. (End of news report)

Leaving to cherish his memory are his widow, Phyllis Groundhog-Woodchuck (his wife chose to use two names so as not to disparage one side of the family or other) and his only son, Phil, Jr., who is expected to follow in his fathers tracks and plans to carry on the family business and tradition. The funeral service will be private in keeping with expressed wishes of the deceased and reflecting his lifetime life style. In homage to his memory, gifts may be made to ASPCA.

A special young friend presented this poem to the family:

Punx – su – taw - ney Phil
Was he woodchuck or ground hog?
Both roles he could ably fill
Vote for your choice on my Blog *

* ChuckieWood@holeintheground.com)



# # # By Dorla Arksey Lapeer, Michigan darksey@yahoo.com

silkyoakfour
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RE: Groundhog Obit - 2/1

Postby silkyoakfour » Thu Feb 03, 2011 2:41 pm

Gobbler's Knob is in mourning today as Punxsutawney Phil died after emerging from his den yesterday morning.

A statement issued by Bill Deeley President of the Punsxtawney Groundhog Club stated that Phil did not see his shadow as he emerged from his den, so an early spring is to be expected. Punsxtawney Phil's death is not an omen for the Steelers, they are still going to the Super Bowl! The earlier proclamation is still good said Deeley.

Punsxtawney Phil was a shy groundhog born into groundhog royalty. In April 2009 he tried to abdicate his throne but was unable to because his brother Philby, now a Canadian citizen caused a diplomatic scandal that involved Australia, Jamaica, New Zealand and the UK. These countries assured Phil that it was best to leave Philby in Canada. Phil was then forced to continue his duties on Groundhog Day as his son Punsxtawney Phil Jnr. was studying for a Ph.D. in Meteorology at the University of Oklahoma.

His wife and two daughters survive Punsxtawney Phil, his son Punstawney Phil Jnr., is expected to take over his father's duties on February 2nd 2012, but said he would appreciate a quite hibernation and requests all those who visit him during this time to please turn off all electronic gadgets that ping, pop and trumpet. Phil added that he was sure a good sleep would enable him to complete his Ph.D. and improve his weather forecast.

Handlers Ben Hughes and John Griffiths are looking forward to working with Phil Jnr., and offer condolences' to Punsxtawney Phil's family.

piecework
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Groundhog Obit - 2/1

Postby piecework » Sat Feb 05, 2011 10:16 am

February 3, 2011 Punxsutawney, PA. Fred A. Stump, 12, died unexpectedly Wednesday morning while on the set, playing the role of Punxsutawney Phil. He was born May 25, 1998 in Oneida, NY, one of quadruplets, to Stella (Marmot) and Horatio Stump. Fred exhibited unusual acting skill as a youngster when he spontaneously played a “Dead Armadillo” one afternoon, side-tracking the now-infamous Mr. McGregor from his garden, and thus saving the Lapin family. This creative and selfless act earned him a full scholarship to Villanova, where he earned his Bachelor’s degrees in Acting and Romance Languages. He met his life partner, Mr. Clyde LePew of the Pepe LePew legacy, on April 1, 2002 in Dordogne France where they were studying the art of cave dwellers.
His life’s work was devoted to transcending cultural barriers through acting. In 2008, he was awarded the Ruby Red Slippers award for his depiction of Miss Piggy, and in 2010, an honorary collar was bestowed upon him by St. Peter's in Rome for playing the role of Friar Tuck.
News of his death sped around the globe, apparent in the condolences arriving hourly:
• “Fred succeeded where Walt Disney failed.”----from the National Rifle Association.
• “Mr. Stump will be lifted up as a model for all mammals !” ---- The Vatican.
• “Never has anyone so identified with warthog culture!”---The Serengetti National Park.
He is survived by Clyde LePew of Punxsutawney; littermates Francine (Stump) Jones of Troy, NY; Frank Stump of Oneida, NY; Francis Stump of Montreal; and dozens of nieces, nephews and cousins. After a private celebration of his life, burial will take place after the ground thaws. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made in his name to the NAACP.

csuther
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RE: Groundhog Obit - 2/1

Postby csuther » Sun Feb 06, 2011 1:01 pm

Obituary of Chuck “Whistle” Digger
December 6th, 2005 – February 2nd, 2011

Chuck “Whistle” Digger, 6, one of the few remaining dual-linguists, and recipient of the Sciuridae Metal for Prophetic Meteorological Accuracy died of a stroke on February 2nd at the mouth of his burrow behind Farmer Glint’s huckleberry bush. Friends of the groundhog saw a change in him during the months leading up to his timely death.
“It was a rough time for him, this year’s hibernation,“ commented long time friend and burrow-mate, Effy Nut. “Hardly slept any what with his unhealthy weight loss, his cataracts and not to mention waking us all up every other day thinking it was time to make his prediction.”
A prominent figure within the well established Cedar Meadow community, Chuck was renowned for his contributions to Human/Groundhog affairs, having dug his burrow directly into the Glathe archaeological site and discovering the ancient artifacts and human bones that were buried there.
His forecast accuracy of 98.5% made him the most sort after groundhog of our time, with February 2009, the infamous ice storm, being the only year that he saw neither shadow nor sun, due to the fact that his burrow froze over. Chuck went back to sleep only to wake a full three months later in the height of spring. At that time many began to speculate about Chuck’s mental health and whether he ought not to be training an apprentice to take over the task.
Unfortunately, there was no one to pass the torch to because Chuck never married. "There simply wasn't enough time," Nut quoted. "He was too busy contributing to what little society still remains in this meadow, and making sure that everyone did their part to keep us from getting eaten. It’s a shame too, because even in old age he was quite the charmer."
Though known by few Chuck was celebrate by many. He was the inspiration, and I dare say author (still a controversial topic) of the onetime hit “How many wood can a wood chuck chuck?” Chuck did in fact learn how to chuck wood, and up until his death held the world record of 901lbs for the number of wood chucked by a groundhog in a single day.
Hundreds, human and rodents alike (and a few canines), are expected to show their respect at his funeral, held tomorrow under the old Cedar tree in the meadow where he will be laid to rest. Directly following the ceremony refreshments will be served in Chuck’s burrow. Only those invited to the reception will have the exact location of the entrance. Many will try and squirm their way into any of the seven burrow holes, but uninvited guests will be greeted with traps and other repellents.
“I dare say,” added Nut. “That even in death good old Chuck is still making sure no one gets eaten on his watch.”

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Lakesideman
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RE: Groundhog Obit - 2/1

Postby Lakesideman » Mon Feb 07, 2011 9:23 am

Punxsutawney, PA – February 2, 2011

The locally renowned groundhog Punxsutawney Pete passed away this morning during the ceremony which he is the star of leaving dozens of citizens stunned and saddened at the turn events.

Pete, the great grand-nephew twice-removed on his mother’s cousin’s side from the legendary Punxsutawney Phil, emerged from his ceremonial den and searched momentarily for his shadow before suddenly flopping over on his back dead. “He flopped on the ground like a lump of Jello in a food fight,” said fourth grader Trent Tillinghast who witnessed the traumatic event first hand.

Emergency Medical Technicians at the scene worked for twenty minutes at the scene in an attempt to revive the rodent but to no avail. “We performed CPR and mouth-to-mouth for several minutes,” Paramedic Julia Shadows said, “But the little corpulent guy was beyond saving.”

Pete was no stranger to controversy in his eight years in the weather forecasting business. He came under fire of a nepotism charge in 2006 when he secured an understudy job for his cousin Jethro Berryhill who as it turned out was not a groundhog at all but rather a woodchuck from the wrong side of the tracks. Pete was also involved in an infamous payola scandal the notorious Altoona beaver clan in 2008 when they allegedly attempted to bribe Pete to fix the date of the coming spring in order to get a corner on the local damming business.

Pete is survived by his wife Philadelphia Phyllis as well as 29 surviving children and 43 grand-children. As of press time there is no word on possible candidates to succeed Pete.

whiteheron
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RE: Groundhog Obit - 2/1

Postby whiteheron » Mon Feb 14, 2011 7:32 am

Punxsutawney Phil, "Punxsutawney Phil, Seer of Seers, Sage of Sages, Prognosticator of Prognosticators and Weather Prophet Extraordinary" said to be well over 100 years old , died of a cardiac arrest in the midst of his prognostications. He is survived by his lovely wife Harriet, his handler, Sid Freeman, the funeral director, and by his friends and his caretakers at the Punxsutawney Memorial Library.

Punxsutawaney Phil was well known all over the world for reliably seeing his shadow and allowing Spring to come quickly this area.

He will lie in state at the Punxsutawaney Courthouse for those who wish to view him on Wednesday the 16th from 7 a.m. to 9 p.m. There will be funeral for him held at the Rose Garden Memorial Park Pet Cemetary located at 7778 Great Expectations Lane in Founding Fathers Chapel on Thursday February 17th at 3 p.m. Residents of Punxsutawany and others are invited to attend.The Philadelphia Orchestra and Representatives from the U.S. Coast Guard and the U.S. Army will be in attendence as will our illustrious Mayor, James Wehrle and representatives from the U.S. Congress.

Chambersburg Mayor Pete Lagiovane who called Punxsutawney Phil a "mangy rodent." is not expected to attend nor will Punxsutawney Phil Jr. who will be with his mother Harriet in their nice and warm home.

Donations can be made to the Punxsutawaney Phil Fund or to the Punxsutawaney Memorial Library.

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RE: Groundhog Obit - 2/1

Postby lam0 » Sat Mar 05, 2011 6:42 am

Since as far back as anyone can remember the Groundhog has been using his age honed skills to predict the season. On a day named for him, his season came to a close. Counted on by many for his respected knowledge, appreciated by all for his colorful presence.

The Groundhog's actually birth date is not known but he was born into a family of many. While he was the only one to stand out with his unique abilities he never forgot his roots. Fathering a lineage to numerous to list, he loved each one with same passion as the right of spring. His family was blessed on a daily basis with the tales of history recounted by the Groundhog. No one can take the Groundhog's place and it is uncertain if his ritual will continue and remain part of a family tradition.

Much sadness has been experienced the world round this day. The Groundhog was my Grandfather.

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Re: Groundhog Obit - 2/1

Postby jagrova » Mon Mar 14, 2011 2:13 pm

This February 2nd, Groundhog Day, turned from a day of joyful anticipation to one of sorrow. As General Beauregard Lee immerged from his slumber for his annual prediction of either an early spring or six more weeks of winter, determined by whether or not the General sees his shadow, it appears the General's heart gave out. We here in Georgia will simply have to wait and see if we will enjoy an early spring or if six more weeks of winter await us this year.

The General has graced us with his presence every February 2nd for these many years. He boasts a 94 percent accuracy rate in his predictions. During his lifetime he has received honorary doctorates from the University of Georgia - "DWP, Doctor of Weather Prognostication" and George State University - "Doctor of Southern Groundology."

The General is survived by his wife Miss Beatrice Louisa and their children. It is reported the General's son Colonel Beauregard Lee will assume the General's duties in the coming years once he has been promoted to General.

Viewing will take place at the town hall beginning Thursday at 11:00 a.m. until Friday at 4:00 p.m. at which time the General will be interred at the local pet cemetery on Oak Street. Miss Beatrice Louisa requests a donation be made to your local animal shelter in lieu of flowers.

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