Job Description of Your Most Boring Job 08/08-08/14

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Brian
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Job Description of Your Most Boring Job 08/08-08/14

Postby Brian » Tue Aug 08, 2006 9:29 am


Brian
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Posts: 927
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Job Description of Your Most Boring Job 08/08-08/14

Postby Brian » Tue Aug 08, 2006 9:29 am

Take the most boring job you've ever had and write a glowing job description for it.

Please limit your response to 500 words or fewer.

desertrose
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RE: Job Description of Your Most Boring Job 08/08-08/14

Postby desertrose » Tue Aug 08, 2006 2:19 pm

Wanted: Rapid training for highly motivated, intelligent, well-mannered young self-starter craving to work in the retail industry. Applicant must have patients and enjoy working in solitude. Some light lifting may be involved. Must maintain a nice appearance for work in our new showroom. No sales involved. Qualified candidate must be able to demonstrate proper usage of the most up-to-date equipment in domestic science. You will spend your day in relative ease as you properly maintain our inventory of lavatory comfort items. Competitive pay. Se Habla Espanol is a plus! Apply in person at Toilet Seats R Us, in the Golden Mall. Good luck!

everett_burnett
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great job

Postby everett_burnett » Tue Aug 08, 2006 3:25 pm

I work for the Jersey City Sanitation Department. I know what you're thinking, but no. I don't get to hang from the back of that monstrous truck, upturning cans and occasionally snagging something priceless. When I first started at JCSD, I was in dispatch. I watched proudly as those heroes marched through the garage at dawn every morning. Mondays and Thursdays, north side, Tuesdays and Fridays, south side and Wednesdays, Weehawken. I admit, I envied them. Looking back, they must have known how much I admired them. Occasionally, Ernie-one of the few that were friendly to me in those days-would throw me a bone, no literally a bone. One man's trash is another man's treasure. The other dispatch guys turned their noses up at gifts from collectors, but I never did. Who knows, they might one day throw me an antique table or a coffee mug. Now, though they have trouble showing it, those same collectors look enviously at me. I now work monitor. You know what that is? Don't worry. I didn't either until the garage foreman made the position especially for me. He told me. I get to stand by the main water passage leading from the Hudson to the landfill, an aromatic spot to say the least. My job is to watch the waters of the delta (they call it the filter chute) and gauge the size of the debris. Now, before you assume that I use fancy equipment and hi-tech measuring devices, I must tell you that I only use my naked eye. As I mentioned before, I was hand-picked for this assignment by the shop foreman himself. That brings me to the point of my letter, I have been promoted. I will now get to go knee deep in the delta and pick the debris from the water, not just identify it. So, I was wondering if you were interested in interviewing for my old monitoring job. The pay is competitive with most of the service industry. It's not union, but think of the stress on the landfill you would have a part in relieving. The offer won't last forever. I advise you to jump at it.

pvinlskallinda
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RE: Job Description of Your Most Boring Job 08/08-08/14

Postby pvinlskallinda » Tue Aug 08, 2006 3:43 pm

Ureka!  I recently landed the most coveted position in all the country. I recieved specialized training in many aspects of the job.  They armed me with cutting edge technology, and I immediately began to understand it's hair-trigger mechanism. 

My first day on the job, I took my position in the main-stream of the corporation. Plastered a smile across my face and took out my sticker gun and proceeded to count items that people were bringing into the store, every item must have a pink sticker, every child must have a smiley face sticker. 

"Welcome to Walmart! Would you like a cart?" I practiced over and over till I got it right.

After the first shift of this wonderful job, I had enough. My feet hurt, my back ached and there wasn't enough money in the world to make me stand at those doors for one more day.  I quit!  


lledger
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RE: Job Description of Your Most Boring Job 08/08-08/14

Postby lledger » Tue Aug 08, 2006 3:56 pm

Who are you? You like a challenge and motivation is your middle name.

What's the job? This job swirls with challenges that cannot be easily brushed away unless you are truly motivated.

Who are we? We are in the procelain mantenance business. "Clean as a mug you can drink from" is our motto. We provide the equipment and a full hour of training by our own expert, Bubba, who has been cleaning toi ... er ... porcelain bowls for over thirty years.

If this sounds like a job for you, apply right away or you might lose out.

Snoozy
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RE: Job Description of Your Most Boring Job 08/08-08/14

Postby Snoozy » Wed Aug 09, 2006 5:48 am

London, 1973
Yes, I love music, and it would be good to work for such a great international music house.
I do have some computer skills, having learned FORTRAN and COBOL programming and the necessary punch card machinist skills. And I can touch type. Right, I report there at 9.00am tomorrow.
9.00am the next day:
I sit here? Certainly. And I am to enter this information on the computer? That's a lot, isn't it? Three drawers full of cards with data to transfer? What's that? You'll bring the next three at noon? Sure, I'll do my best.
(Aside) It's funny that nobody wants to talk to me; they're all heads down and card-punching like mad. Oh well.
Noon: Yes, I've finished one drawer, and I'm a quarter of the way through the next one. I know, I'm going as fast as I can.
Next morning, back at the agency: That's what I said - they sent me away, told me I wasn't suited to the job. What else do you have on your books? And you'll give me my day's pay, won't you?

jeanie0817
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Most boring job

Postby jeanie0817 » Wed Aug 09, 2006 6:31 am

Does a well-turned spine make you tingle? Do unsolved mysteries intrigue you? Does the idea of working with titles titillate you? Do you have an altruistic affinity? More challenging than Sudoku, less tiring than geo caching, this position offers rewards that are more valuable than an hourly wage. Work in a quiet environment, free from distraction. Pursue inspiration around every corner. Use your superior organizational skills to maintain customer satisfaction. If painting by number relaxes you, reading by number will rejuvenate you. If you’ve always hankered to help the homeless, fulfill those philanthropic yearnings by finding homes for books. We need expert investigators who love to throw their weight into a project, who will stoop to any level to achieve their goals. Drop by your local library branch and find out how you, too, can become a literary locator.

jenn
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RE: Job Description of Your Most Boring Job 08/08-08/14

Postby jenn » Wed Aug 09, 2006 8:17 am

Wanted: Friendly face and voice to greet people and answer the phone at a local radio station. Must be able to type on a manual typewriter. Applicant should be creative, motivated, and adept at finding things to do. Bring your favorite book along. Good research skills also a plus (for when people randomly call in to ask questions like, "Exactly when are the dog days of summer?"). Fear of technology is encouraged. Drop in any time for an interview.

kisherron
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RE: Job Description of Your Most Boring Job 08/08-08/14

Postby kisherron » Wed Aug 09, 2006 2:10 pm

Wanted: Highly motivated, detail oriented, creative self-starter to send mail, make copies, and stare at a compture screen all day. Must be completly dedicated to the job, forsaking family, friends and your own physical and mental health. Must be fluent in office chitchat and office gossip. The ablility to create the illusion of being busy when there is little to no work to do is a plus.

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