Embarrassing CD 5/16-5/22

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Brian
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Embarrassing CD 5/16-5/22

Postby Brian » Tue May 16, 2006 5:11 am


Brian
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Embarrassing CD 5/16-5/22

Postby Brian » Tue May 16, 2006 5:11 am

Your friend asks to borrow a couple of your CDs. While rummaging through your collection, the two of you stumble upon what you consider to be the most embarrassing album that you own. You definitely don’t want your friend to know that you actually like that record, so make up an excuse as to how it got in your collection. The more elaborate the reasoning, the better.

Please limit your response to 500 words or fewer.

pvinlskallinda
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RE: Embarrassing CD 5/16-5/22

Postby pvinlskallinda » Tue May 16, 2006 7:18 am

Yes Wolfgang, go ahead and look through my collection of classical CD's.  I'm sure you will find something you like. I have them all cataloged together on the left tower of my CD rack.  Your welcome to play any one you like.  I'll be in the kitchen finishing dinner.  Then we can sit down and listen to some music. 

Just as I was finishing the final touches on the meal and reached for a bottle of the finest wine in the house, I heard it.

"I AM EVIL, YES I AM! I AM EVIL, YES I AM!" blaring from the living room.  Wolfgan, was caught off guard and I ran in to see him cowering in the corner with both hands on his ears.  I rushed to the CD player and shut it down as quickly as I could.  He must have thought the devil himself had decended on him.  Embarrassed, I tried to explain.

"My nephew is in a heavy metal band, that is his first CD. It was a gift, I don't know how it got mixed up in my classics."


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JRSmith
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RE: Embarrassing CD 5/16-5/22

Postby JRSmith » Tue May 16, 2006 4:50 pm

The doorbell rang. It was my gumshoe pal, Thaddeus Hannigan, here to borrow something...again. "Duke, my man!" Hannigan yelled as he flicked the cigar butt onto my freshly manicured lawn. "I'm having a few stuffed shirts over and I need to borrow some class. How's about a few of your highbrow CDs, old bud?"

"Sure," I said, wincing at the cloud of smoke following my friend into the house. I guided the Private Detective toward the end of the hall.

Ever the observant sleuth, as soon as we entered the media room, Hannigan spotted the CD case in the corner before I had indicated where the CDs I was lending him were. "So that's the speech collection, eh Duke?" My friend shook his head, impressed at the collection of speeches and plays before him. "Just what I need, I think."

"The spoken word has always been fascinating to me," I said as I handed my friend my prized Franklin Delano Roosevelt CD. "These people knew how to get their message across, that's for sure." I pushed aside the Shakespeare discs, looking for my "James Earl Jones reads Anything" CD. As soon as I slid "Death of a Salesman, as read by Ron Popeil" aside I immediately realized my mistake.

With his uncanny attention to detail, Hannigan noticed the lone CD that had been pushed out of sight. Or so I thought, anyway.
"Speaking of getting a message across...how did this copy of 'Lisa Marie Presley's Most Unintelligible Hits' get here?" Hannigan looked up, enjoying the crimson sunset that was my face.

"Uh...er, ummmm. Well, you know how the record club sends some CDs automatically and you have to send them back? I guess that was one of them and I forgot to return it," I stammered, my face growing even more ruddy with embarrassment. I didn't mention that I would pop that in the player after my fifth beer and sing along into a pool cue until I fell asleep on the floor. I don't think Hannigan would understand. I don't think anyone would.

henryna
 

RE: Embarrassing CD 5/16-5/22

Postby henryna » Wed May 17, 2006 9:51 am

This CD album can be seen as being embarrassing to own not so much for its content but for how old it is. It’s Tears for Fears, The Greatest Hits. Would I part with it? Never. If I ever had to give an explanation for owning it, I’d simply have to say it’s because I’m nostalgic. After all, you can’t go to the supermarket these days without hearing maybe an instrumental version to “Everybody Wants to Rule the World”. And no matter how hard you try to enjoy the last few moments of the greatest live basketball game you’ve ever seen, odds are, you’ll probably hear a bass-filled, heart-thumping version of “Shout” bouncing off walls of the basketball arena.

I asked a friend of mine, a former A&R representative for a well-known record company about what he thought about my music collection and my taste in music in general. I figured anyone who worked in the music industry should have a pretty good sense of individuals and their tastes in music. He said, “You have an eclectic taste in music”. It’s true. In fact, I’ve also heard, “give her a few bars of a popular song and odds are she’ll know the words to it”. In addition to that statement, it’s been said that I have a special skill at remembering song lyrics ranging from classic jazz and R&B to its contemporary counterparts, hip-hop songs and even some show tunes. Oh and don’t forget to throw in a country tune and even Duran Duran, The Cranberries, U2 and Madonna.

I suppose you can attribute this to my love of natural rhythm and motion, conjured up by my warm and sunny Afro-Caribbean-Cuban background, but I love to listen to anything that moves my spirit (and my feet). I believe that music is there to fit our every mood, emotion and that special place in time that we always seem to go back to whenever we hear out favorite song.

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RE: Embarrassing CD 5/16-5/22

Postby tlw88 » Wed May 17, 2006 8:47 pm

My friend rummaged through my CD's and found copies of Englebert Humperdinck's greatest hits and Lawrence Welk' Christmas. I explained to him when I got my dog from the humane society, one of the handler's there said the only way I could get my german shepherd to sleep through the night was to play either of these two CD's.

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RE: Embarrassing CD 5/16-5/22

Postby writermouth » Thu May 18, 2006 3:31 pm

“Oh for heaven’s sake, look at these stupid CDs my older brother shoved into my music collection.” I gasped with a dry mouth and dripping arm pits.

“Let me see those things” asked Debbie.

Trying to think fast but yet attempting to kept total control over the situation, “Uh, you know how strand older brothers can be? They just throw their junk in with yours when they don’t want it. He was probably trying to hide them from his new punk rocker girlfriend.”

Debbie looks over the two CDs. Reading the label she looks up at me. “These religious songs really don’t sound like your brother’s.”

“Well you just don’t know him that good. He has a very serious side to him. Did you ever notice how he stays in his bedroom for hours on end? Well he is usually in there listening to these with his head phones.”

“What a minute.” Debbie interrupts. “One of these tapes isn’t religious; it’s one that is titled, ‘How to get a Real Man’. Now are you going to tell me he is uh, you know.”

The room seems to be getting hot now and my throat is soo parched that I can’t even talk anymore. I walk out of the room going towards the kitchen only to run into my brother. “Bill. I need your help. Please tell Debbie that the CDs she is holding are yours. I am so embarrassed about them.”

Bill looks at me with and his left eyebrow rises. “Well that’s going to cost you.”

“Anything. I’ll give you ten dollars if you tell her those are your CDs. PLEASE!”

“Alright hand over the money.” Bill smiled and put out his right hand to accept the money.

I reached into my jean pocket and pulled out 1 five dollar bill and 2 one dollar bills. “This is all I have. Will it be enough to cover for me?”

Scratching his chin while smiling at me he whispered, “Is it the,’How to Get a Real Man’ CD?”

“How did you know about that?” I asked blushing while he smiled all the more.

“I lent it to my girl friend and that’s why she’s with me now.”

cpa41
 

RE: Embarrassing CD 5/16-5/22

Postby cpa41 » Thu May 18, 2006 4:40 pm

“So,” Ed said while giving me a raised eyebrow. “You got William Shatner singing ‘Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds’ on this CD. Pat Boone I could maybe – maybe understand. I see you have Shelly Fabrares 45 rpm single – ‘Johnny Angel’. You’ve got tons of LP’s and CD’s and old 45’s that are way better than this crap. What’s up with that?”

Trying to mitigate the rushing onslaught of embarrassment, I tried to explain as I felt my face going flush. “It was 1968. I was nine years old for crying out loud. My mother bought his LP and didn’t like it. She bought LP’s quite often. She liked Glenn Campbell, Andy Williams, and Johnny Cash. Shatner was young, thirty-seven, I think, so she bought it because she thought he was good-looking. Never would she throw anything away so she saved it and at Christmas gave it to my sister as a gift. My sister didn’t like it and gave it to my grandmother as a gift. My grandmother didn’t know of the chain of custody and gave it to my mother as a gift. At the time, I thought it was hilarious.”

“Grab me a beer. Wait – hand me two. I need some anesthetic to listen to this.” Ed moved over to the computer and started typing. “Look,” he said. “The Transformed Man released in 1968 where Shatner sings ‘Lucy in the Sky with Diamond’s’ is considered by many to be the worst musical performance of all time. The computer doesn’t lie.”

“I’m not finished,” I said as my voice increase in frequency and rapidity. “My mother gave it away as a prize at one of her bunco parties. The lady who won it was a nurse for my doctor. A couple of months later, I had an allergic reaction to poison ivy and had to go in for a series of injections. During the last office visit, the nurse brings me this LP and says she knows how I’m nuts about Star Trek and wants me to have it. I was at the end of the gift line. I was nine years old! What could I do? Then, a few months ago, my wife sees this CD of quirky songs with Shatner on it. She bought it for me because she knows how I like to watch Shatner on Boston Legal.”

“Where’s your common sense?” You’re forty-nine; it’s time to let go of Shatner. I can’t believe you kept this CD after you knew what his singing was like.” Ed had a point but I had to salvage some self respect.

“Einstein said common sense is a set of prejudices you accumulate by age eighteen. My wife bought it for me; I can’t throw it out. It might even be worth money now. Look that up will you?” I didn’t know what else to say.

loudermilk
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RE: Embarrassing CD 5/16-5/22

Postby loudermilk » Tue May 23, 2006 8:44 am

"Perry Como? ... Perry Como!? ... What the hell is this doing in here? ... Who the hell is Perry Como anyway? ... Did you bring this to our party Friday?"

"Ahhhhh, nope. Not me man."

"Who in the hell...? Oh well. You want it?"

"Nah."

"I'm going to toss it if you don't want it, sure?"

"Ahhhhh, I can see if my mom wants it."

damn "Okay. Take it." geez, that's priceless, damn it!


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RE: Embarrassing CD 5/16-5/22

Postby Eironia » Tue May 23, 2006 9:38 am

Why does inspiration always strike one day late?  Ah, c'est la vie.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I leaned in leather-upholstered comfort, feet propped on desk, oozing contentment. My erstwhile partner Mr. Wyson rummaged, not disturbing me, on the brink of slumber--

"What's this? 'Best of Broadway'-?"

My head came up, my feet down; the blood fell from my brain into my cheeks. "Uh..."

Wyson's brows lowered over glittering eyes. "It's yours?"

I pulled open a drawer, fumbling, stalling. Inspiration stabbed; an idea welled. "An interesting story, that."

Recognizing a tale, Wyson pragmatically settled into a chair. Pensively, I pulled my pipe from the desk, cleaned and filled it, tapped its stem against my mouth.

"It began with the developments of a new compact disc encryption. Both crystal clear sound and imagery were already possible." I paused to puff at my pipe, sending a few bubbles wafting into the air. "This one played both sound and image, not to ears or eyes, but - to the mind."

"The mind!"

"Yes, Mr. Wyson." I puffed slowly, producing a large bubble that bobbled, shimmering, then burst into a soapy shower. "The prototype was to be delivered from an underground laboratory in Deluth to Washington, where its full capacities would be explored and, of course, utilized. But it was--"

"Stolen?"

I frowned, let it pass. "Yes, stolen." Another puff, a small stream of bubbles, rising and jostling like ideas. "The man who stole it was a mastermind, genius, who wished to --"

"Sell it to the Russians!" Wyson leaned forward.

"No. He wished not to sell it, but to destroy it. Dangerous, meddling with the mind." I paused for more bubbles. "What he did was worse than destroying it."

"Well?"

"Patience, my good man. You see, it was capable of recording and playing audio as well as mental datum." My pipe sputtered and produced nothing, so I paused to fill it again, deliberately pouring, studying the depth, topping it off.

Wyson squirmed.

Smiling around the pipe, I propped my feet up. "He took a CD on hand and copied its contents onto the, what they had come to call, ESPD." I leaned back, smiling lazily, until soapy solution poured back through the pipe. Spluttering, I shot up. With a glance to be sure Wyson wasn't laughing, I wiped my mouth. "He even used one of those fancy printers to reproduce the image on the CD, a good farce."

Puzzlement creased Wyson's brow.

"Don't you see? He copied a 'Best of Broadway' CD onto the ESPD, sold it online. Many of us were hired to find it."

"And did anyone ever?"

I drew a deep breath, emptied my pipe in one long stream of bubbles that wafted lazily in the still air of the office. "No It's still out there."

"So why do you have--?"

"A souvenir." I paused thoughtfully as I cleaned my pipe. "And - I feel this odd urge not to discard it."  With that I stowed the pipe, rose, and left, leaving Wyson speechless behind me.



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