Best Man/Maid of Honor Speech - 9/29

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Cro
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Re: Best Man/Maid of Honor Speech - 9/29

Postby Cro » Mon Oct 05, 2009 1:01 pm

When Murray asked me to give a speech on this fine wedding here, with this fine cake (supposedly coconut cream), I didn't hesitate because I knew I would do just fine. Would it be any other kind of speech, I'd be nervous right now, but with wedding speeches I am good. That is so because of two reasons. First of all, because I have always been good at improvising, so when Murray asked me to do the honor, it was my honor indeed so I sat down and promptly began to improvise this speech together. It is not done yet, but he only asked me two weeks ago, so I'm still in the "improvising" phase.

When I first met Murray, we were both working in the sales. Meaning, of course, that we were refilling shelves at a bigger store you all know from name, but some of us know by smell as well. I knew we would be good buddies from day one, but not because he was fine with any job, but because of two reasons. One: he wanted the night shift and Two: because he would have rather died than to put his shades down. Especially at night. In our spare time we hang out at the cash register, looking for customers to help with packing. It was a free service on our behalf, but after too many packs of cigs were gone missing, we were asked to stop. These charges were never proven, of course, but Murray still quit the job later on, despite the great career opportunities.

Well enough of the teen years though, because nearly ten years later we're still buddies, and against all odds, you've managed to find the time to catch a girl who didn't hear of your legacy. Congratulations Lynda.. Or was that Ashley..

No no, just kidding of course.

On a more serious note though, I've always envied him, because Murray is a catch. He's got a great taste, he always spots the no-no girls, he can make great sushi, he's got the best parties and the craziest drinking games. He also makes friends easy and he's generous with the strippers.

Well I'll go ahead and wrap it up because my snack senses are tingling, so let all my best wishes for you two be my bottom line here. On a last note though, Murray.. next time make it chocolate cake please, and Ashley if you need a best man for your next wedding, remember me, I really love your parents.

Here's to the holly union, may it last longer than usual.

Cro
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Re: Best Man/Maid of Honor Speech - 9/29

Postby Cro » Mon Oct 05, 2009 1:01 pm

When Murray asked me to give a speech on this fine wedding here, with this fine cake (supposedly coconut cream), I didn't hesitate because I knew I would do just fine. Would it be any other kind of speech, I'd be nervous right now, but with wedding speeches I am good. That is so because of two reasons. First of all, because I have always been good at improvising, so when Murray asked me to do the honor, it was my honor indeed so I sat down and promptly began to improvise this speech together. It is not done yet, but he only asked me two weeks ago, so I'm still in the "improvising" phase.

When I first met Murray, we were both working in the sales. Meaning, of course, that we were refilling shelves at a bigger store you all know from name, but some of us know by smell as well. I knew we would be good buddies from day one, but not because he was fine with any job, but because of two reasons. One: he wanted the night shift and Two: because he would have rather died than to put his shades down. Especially at night. In our spare time we hang out at the cash register, looking for customers to help with packing. It was a free service on our behalf, but after too many packs of cigs were gone missing, we were asked to stop. These charges were never proven, of course, but Murray still quit the job later on, despite the great career opportunities.

Well enough of the teen years though, because nearly ten years later we're still buddies, and against all odds, you've managed to find the time to catch a girl who didn't hear of your legacy. Congratulations Lynda.. Or was that Ashley..

No no, just kidding of course.

On a more serious note though, I've always envied him, because Murray is a catch. He's got a great taste, he always spots the no-no girls, he can make great sushi, he's got the best parties and the craziest drinking games. He also makes friends easy and he's generous with the strippers.

Well I'll go ahead and wrap it up because my snack senses are tingling, so let all my best wishes for you two be my bottom line here. On a last note though, Murray.. next time make it chocolate cake please, and Ashley if you need a best man for your next wedding, remember me, I really love your parents.

Here's to the holly union, may it last longer than usual.

Southgate
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RE: Best Man/Maid of Honor Speech - 9/29

Postby Southgate » Wed Oct 07, 2009 6:46 am

My dear friends, respectable elders,

 

Today, my friend has put me in an embarrassing situation of delivering a speech in his wedding. It is a rude shock to me. I am not used to public speaking. Anyhow I cannot ignore my friend’s legitimate wish.

 

Though we are friends and of the same age, I got married 7 years ago and now I have a son.Being the only son of my parents I was forced to get married at a very young age of 20, that was well below the marriage age stipulated by our government. But you had the responsibility of arranging the marriage of your three sisters. I know that you are an epitome of patience. I have no doubt that your marital life will be so smooth and you will be the happiest man in this world.

 

In our school and college days, you had always been jealous at me, just because I was the only son to my parents; I was a free bird and I had no responsibilities in my life just because I had no brothers and sisters; Dear friend I want to say something to you openly; just because I had no any sister or brother at my home, I had been a monopoly at home; enjoyed all alone; I had no competitors. Hence, when I got married, I could not adjust myself with my wife; I could not brook even the slightest manner of criticism; you are aware of all these things; just because of my adamant attitude, I had often quarreled with my wife and almost reached the point of no return, I mean I was about to divorce my wife within two years from the date of my marriage; but for your timely intervention and advice, I would have been a divorcee by this time.

 

You are such a nice friend and you are not in need of any advice in your life.

 

But I too have something for you by way of advice. As you used to say, for heaven’s sake don’t stop with just one child; have more children, at least two; If you stop with only one child , he will become yet another adamant fellow just like me.

 

Do you know that throughout my life I know only about friendship but I never know what is brotherhood or sisterhood; that is why I could not adjust with my wife and I had all sorts of troubles in my life.

 

That’s all, my friend. I am sorry that I had spoiled the joyous occasion your marriage  and your happy mood. But I felt that it was my duty to express my sincere thanks to you and I would not have had a better chance than this. My best wishes for your happy married life! All the best!    


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RE: Best Man/Maid of Honor Speech - 9/29

Postby barnaby jones » Fri Oct 09, 2009 9:15 pm

I’ll never forget the first time I met Joseph. I was in prisoner transport, my hands were bound together, my face was bloody, and I didn’t even remember knocking over that liquor store, but as you all know, security tapes don’t lie. Now I had recognized him from my crack dealer’s house, but we had never actually had a conversation before that fateful night. When my eyes were swollen from the violent beatings i recieved that night to the point that I couldn’t see, good old Joseph was there with a razor that he had stuck up his ass to cut them open. Ever since then we’ve been the best of friends. Now him and I have been through all sorts of things together, prison, rehab, prison again, but nothing will ever top the time we broke into the old folk’s home to steal morphine and jewelry. As we were running from the police and various senior citizens, Joseph spotted a fantastic tree house to hide in. Little did we know, that tree house would be our home for the next three months. Some of my best memories were in that tree house, right up until that meth lab we had set up exploded and took my left arm and the lives of 4 outstanding Puerto Ricans whose names I can’t remember. At least I think it was our meth lab that blew up. At any rate, when Barnaby first told me he was getting married, I was a little skeptical. After all, I had seen him go through several marriages always walking away with everything his spouse held dear. But when I see the love in his eyes for…this girl whose name I can’t remember, I know that there’s a distinct possibility that this isn’t just another scam of his. Wait…where am I?

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RE: Best Man/Maid of Honor Speech - 9/29

Postby kayfair » Mon Oct 12, 2009 12:57 pm

“You have to do it. You’re my best friend. It wouldn’t be right otherwise.”

So the glass of frothy cheap champagne is trembling in my unsteady hand. I spy my best friend’s Uncle Jack, ripe with Parkinson’s disease. His glass shakes less than mine.

“To the luckiest woman in the world. Her life promises to be magical, blessed, and peaceful. She has found a man who knows what it means to treat a lady like a lady, to respect not only a woman’s emotions, but her very being.”

There are little plastic swans on all the tables, crammed with those chalky after dinner mints. I wonder if my breath smells…

“Julie is graceful and elegant and beyond all means, intelligent. She has always been a bright and shining reflection of what an accomplished young woman should be.”

The crotch of my pantyhose has shimmied down from its designated region, and I yearn to give it a good yank upward, to stem the flow of the most unappealing sweat I’ve ever felt.

“I’ve always wanted to be more like her. From the first moment we met.”

Back in college, she’d set the curve in my Physiological Psych class and I’d latched onto her in the hopes I’d pass by osmosis. We’d become friends. I’d introduced her to my other friends.

“She is even more wonderful still with Connor at her side.”

Connor…whom I had known since I could toddle in my diapers to the point where my front lawn became his. The one to blame for forcing me into giving this awkward, halting, elementary excuse for a wedding toast; this homage to The Woman I Would Never Be.

“So here’s to Julie, who today marries my best friend.”

My first date. My first kiss. My first everything.

“Cheers.”

And I feel bile rise in my throat as I give him away.

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RE: Best Man/Maid of Honor Speech - 9/29

Postby ReecesPieces » Tue Oct 13, 2009 8:27 pm

I’m happy for my friend, truly I am, but I wasn’t exactly thrilled when she asked me to give a toast at her wedding. I’m too dark on the inside for such happy gatherings and if she was my friend she’d realize this, but she didn’t. I remember the day as if it were yesterday. We met at the local cafe on a sunny day, a sunny day I’d rather be spending elsewhere but Grace begged and pleaded. “Elle, it would mean so much to me if you did this for me.” I knew Grace was smiling at this point. Her smile was small and innocent, but I couldn’t bear to look up. I was frustrated, lost at words annoyed and my pastry was feeling the wrath of my annoyance. I shredded the pastry, cherry goop with scattered on the plate. I realized I was quiet for too long and Grace would soon start begging again. “Fine. I’ll do it.” I gave in way too quickly. I really didn’t want to, but how could I say no? She was my friend; my closet friend and I had no choice. I’d also have no choice in what catastrophe of a maid of honor dress I’d be wearing.

I figured I would have to make up some nice things to say about Grace and Evan’s love for one another. It’s not that I didn’t believe in love because I was for certain what Grace and Evan had was love, but I never experienced it. Writing this speech was like pulling teeth for me. I didn’t want to sound fake, or make this out to be some Disney moment.

Nine months of wedding planning with Grace and I still had nothing to say. It wasn’t until the day of the wedding that I had to travel middle of nowhere, Iowa that I came up with something. I was on the plane when I scribbled something nervously onto the back of the airplane magazine.

Finally, it was show time. All eyes were on me and I was feeling panicky like I wanted to run. I took in a deep breath and walked up to the post with my speech and champagne glass clutched tightly in my hand. Apparently, for a quick second I blanked out because the microphone was handed to me out of nowhere. It was all or nothing…

“I’m not too sure why it is that Grace asked me to do this since she knows I’m a bit of a non believer when it comes to this fairy tale ending love thing, but here I am.” A few laughs escaped some of the wedding party’s mouths. I half smiled feeling this getting slightly easier. Laughter is good. “The truth of it is...I never believed in love but the way Evan and Grace look at each other makes me believe. Here’s to Grace and Evan for making love a believable thing. Cheers.” “Cheers!” The crowd clapped and Grace’s big doe eyes were watery.

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RE: Best Man/Maid of Honor Speech - 9/29

Postby boredtotears » Thu Oct 15, 2009 3:06 am

"Ladies and gentlemen, Dan and Ann asked me to say a few words before dinner this evening." Whoa.. now everyone is looking at me. Gotta get them to look at THEM.

" Just take a look at this happy couple tonight. Don't they look adorable?" Everyone clapped and smiled. "Please hold your glasses high as we toast this fine looking couple as they start their lives together again for the second time in the last 10 years.... " giggles abound from the audience " may you two stay happy, healthy and MARRIED this time.... there are no more do overs allowed!" HERE HERE someone yells.

We all toasted the bride and groom... AGAIN....

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Re: Best Man/Maid of Honor Speech - 9/29

Postby lavenderrose » Mon Oct 19, 2009 9:00 am

Pamela held her breathe and took a long sip of her Cape Cod to calm her nerves. All eyes were on her everyone waiting for her to lift the mic and speak. She thought its now or never. With a quick breath in and a long one out she lifted the mic uncertianly and said,
" Welcome freinds ... and family to the wedding of Jack and Mabel. A union that we all hope stands the test of time. As some may know Mabel is my sister but not only sister she is my best freind. Even though I was just a baby when she tried to smoother me with a stuffed polar bear I think muderous intentions aside she is the most loving wonderful woman." She paused for the laughter took another deep breath.
" I remember when Jack first came home I passed through the living room giving her discreet thumbs up. I mean he was great of all I heard and finally seeing what a handsome and intellegent looking man she brought home I knew her search for a knight in shinning armour was over. and a month after that visit here we are whirl wind romance. Please take care of her Jack she is all that I have got." Glassy eyed she looked at her sister. They shared a million words in thet one look.
" Let us toast to Jack and Mabel my the the happiness of this day radiate throughout their lives." everyone broke into applause and tears were wipped away. Then band leader said, "and now lets hear from the best man."

shekar 1
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RE: Best Man/Maid of Honor Speech - 9/29

Postby shekar 1 » Fri Nov 27, 2009 10:39 am

Prompt Your dearest friend has asked you to give a speech at his / her wedding

I thank John and Mary, the newly married couple, for giving me this wonderful opportunity to make a speech on this auspicious occasion. I think I‘ll fail in my duty if I don’t mention to you about my strong friendship with John. I‘ve known him for ten years now. We came to know each other one evening during a trip in the Metro. While John was coming back home from office, I spotted him as the guy who could help me find my way to Eglinton, an area new and quite unknown to me. He was very welcoming.
When I told him I needed his help, he was very willing to do so and there started a friendly chat between us. Since then we met much often and gradually our friendship grew up and strengthened so much that that there wasn’t any single event in our lives which we weren’t aware of. We shared news and views and talked lengthily about funny, little incidents about girls or everyday events. I still remember the day when he announced me about his meeting with his dream girl whose name he muttered with elation and thrills.” She is called Mary” he said. I knew that my closest friend had succumbed to the bewitching spell of the lovely lady who is beside him now. He insisted that I should see the lady that would become his second half. Marvellous was that moment when I beheld the blue-eyed damsel with her long hair, smiling face and nice features. After a little chat with her, I was enthralled on hearing the honeyed words coming from her sweet voice. I knew from that very instant that there wouldn’t be a better life-partner for my friend John than this gorgeous lady. And to-day I’m sure you are certainly enchanted to see John and his ideal life partner bound by sacred rites to be always together.
Allow me to tell our newly married couple that we are very proud of them for the wise decision they’ve taken to embark on a matrimonial life. Knowing their maturity, their common interests, their willingness to care for each other, their loving nature, we are fully convinced that their married life will be crowned with everlasting happiness and resounding success and it will be an exemplary one.
I know you will heartily join me to express our warmest wishes and extend our blessings to them for a happy and harmonious married life

Sakaram Puddoo
sakapud@hotmail.com

Im back acre1964
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Re: Best Man/Maid of Honor Speech - 9/29

Postby Im back acre1964 » Sat Nov 28, 2009 4:34 pm

Your closest friend has asked you to give a speech at his/her wedding.

Been there done that and I wish you better luck!!!!Also watch out for the green monsters in the closets. They are real Monsters!!!

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