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Ability-Improving Soda 5/09-5/15 : Writing Prompts and Challenges • Page 2 • Writing Forum | WritersDigest.com

Ability-Improving Soda 5/09-5/15

The editors of Writer's Digest provide a weekly Writing Prompt to get your writing going.
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JRSmith
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RE: Ability-Improving Soda 5/09-5/15

Postby JRSmith » Sat May 13, 2006 10:24 am


Eileena
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RE: Ability-Improving Soda 5/09-5/15

Postby Eileena » Sat May 13, 2006 5:20 pm

Hahahah! What a comma-dian. I mean commode-ian. I mean colondian. I declare, pretty funny. EE

Eironia
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RE: Ability-Improving Soda 5/09-5/15

Postby Eironia » Mon May 15, 2006 5:51 am

Have those old caffeine drinks lost their edge on you?  Do you yawn at Mountain Dew's effects, and take a nap after chugging Coke?  Well, cast them aside!  I give you - AdreniCola!

That's right, science's latest breakthrough will break through your torpor!  Twelve out of ten experts agreed that Adrenicola is 45% more effective in increasing alertness and releasing endorphins; and a whopping 95% more effective at accelerating the burning of fat cells, than any other soda on the market!  Yes indeed, Adrenicola will give you energy and help you lose weight!

Dr. Lee Thargic explains in layman's terms: "We discovered a way to extract the - well, call it energy - of children.  We started on rats, then those little dogs that look like rats, worked our way up to puppies (a six-month-old German Shepherd being our most effective contributor) and finally to children, ages 2 to 6.  What's amazing is that no matter how much [name omited for we-don't-want-to-be-sued reasons] we extracted, within ten minutes the puppies and children showed absolutely no loss, and in fact had over-compensated, creating still more!"

So find yourself a can of Adrenicola today and feel the pep, feel the youth; feel the best - and that's the truth!

(No children or animals were harmed in the making of this product; however, animals were petted within an inch of their lives and children were tickled ruthlessly.)


cpa41
 

RE: Ability-Improving Soda 5/09-5/15

Postby cpa41 » Wed May 17, 2006 11:15 am

Quick! What’s 4256 plus 5744? Having problems with every day math? Can’t remember what you did five minutes ago? Take a five-minute break and enjoy exciting new Heliopause – our new soft drink that improves your mental faculties. It tastes great. Don’t think twice.

By providing a rich assortment of needed vitamins against a background of tasty fruit juice, Heliopause gives you the extra mental energy to outshine those around you. Accomplish Einstein-like tasks that bedevil most people. Speed up your reading comprehension skills and memory retention capacity.

Need to do well on an exam? Want to look good in a job interview? Can’t find your car keys? Pause for a refreshing Heliopause; the rejoinder enhancement drink that lasts all day long. The taste is delicious and it’s healthy for you too. Discard your carrots and put the messy juicer away. Heliopause is the soft drink that will blow your mind. Because it contains omega-3 fatty acids derived from anchovies and sardines, it’s healthy for you without that awful fish taste.

Act now and receive our introductory offer of two-dollars off each case of Heliopause that you purchase at the special low price of four ninety-five. Wait – that’s not all! You will be entered into our drawing to win the grand prize of an exciting, all expense paid, jon-boat fishing expedition on the Buffalo River in beautiful Arkansas. Of course the prize is healthy and we’ll supply you with bountiful amounts of Heliopause for your trip - a true adventure in health consciousness.

This offer is available for a limited time only. Act now and save. This offer won’t be repeated. Call our customer service line within the next ten minutes and receive free, an introductory membership to MENSA. Bumper sticker included…impress your friends and neighbors. You don’t need to think clearly to participate in this offer, but you’ll be glad you did. Heliopause – the soft drink for hard thinkers.

Eileena
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RE: Ability-Improving Soda 5/09-5/15

Postby Eileena » Wed May 17, 2006 4:27 pm

CPA41, this is clever. Sign me up! - It was the sardines and anchovies that sold me -- haha. But HelioPause has benefits that we baby boomer types could certainly use.

Interested in the name HelioPause and curious how you came up with it. Spent a couple of minutes here with my Merriam-Webster's to get a definitive definition (huh?) on "helio" -- but to no avail. So, interested in your rationale for name. Preferably in terms a non-Mensa person could understand! (smile)
EE

cpa41
 

RE: Ability-Improving Soda 5/09-5/15

Postby cpa41 » Wed May 17, 2006 4:48 pm

Thanks Eileena. I was just paging through a Scientific American special issue on the Sun, one that I bought a while back but never finished reading. Heliopause is a term that defines where the radiation from the sun weakens so much that it becomes part of the miscellaneous particles drifting around in space. I'm not a geek, but am fascinated by the workings of the sun. I just wanted to use a name that was a bit odd and might grab some attention. I went to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heliopause in order to understand what it meant. It was kind of fun to write that up.

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