You Can't Name Your Baby That! - 7/14

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Katrina Rychling
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Re: You Can't Name Your Baby That! - 7/14

Postby Katrina Rychling » Fri Jul 24, 2009 7:40 am

LadyDi i really like the name you picked, Eleventha Mae. It's great!

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Re: You Can't Name Your Baby That! - 7/14

Postby lrwpublication » Fri Jul 24, 2009 3:48 pm

"So what's the baby's name?" asked Amelia. "I'm tired of calling him baby."
"Yeah, " said Ravin, "the suspense is killing us."
"Ok, everyone, settle down!" I replied motioning everyone to sit down. My wife was beaming as she sh-h-h-ed everyone.
I took a deep breathe and said, "It has been 3 drooling weeks of back and forth, like and dislike of baby naming. We think we have it. But first would anyone like to guess what it might be?"
"Sure." said Amelia. "You named him Chris after yourself."
"No, No, No." said Uncle Paul. "He named him Bow after his late father."
"Who cares," Shouted Aunt Lynn. "Just tell us, already."
I looked at my wife and we grinned. "His name is Cowlie."
The room was silent. "What?"; "Who's named Cowlie in our family?";"They're just joking?"
Distrubed by all the conversation, I asked, "What's wrong with Cowlie?"
Aunt Lynn with her quick tongue shouted, "It sounds like a dog's name."
My wife looked and me, and I at her, then our family, we replied, "He is a dog!" Then my wife picked Cowlie off the floor to show to everyone. He was black and white just like a cow.
Uncle Paul jumped up, "I drove 4 hours to get here to find out your baby is a dog."
Amelia looked troubled, "Weren't you fat? I mean, you looked pregnant....wasn't you?"
We tried explaining but no one was listening. That's when I hear my Aunt Lynn whisper to Uncle Paul, "See, I told you they were weird."

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Re: You Can't Name Your Baby That! - 7/14

Postby Eric_512 » Sun Jul 26, 2009 12:27 am

Picture it…Pops has just met my son for the first time. We’re talking in the kitchen while I’m gulping down a glass of orange juice.

"Look Pops. You can call the kid whatever you'd like, but the bottom line is, Shelly and I wanted a strong name for our son, and Mowgli just does it for us!"

"Mowgli huh?", says Dad. "Sounds like a freaking name off that show you watched as kids...uh.. 'Fraggle Rock', or somethin'."

"Man, we didn't even THINK of referencing 'Fraggle Rock’! Maybe next time around. Shelly. Oh Shelly. Where are ya' babe? Thanks for the idea Dad!

Shelly in the background, “Mowgli and I are in the bedroom.”

“Pops just gave me a good idea for later....." I walk off looking for my wife, Shelly. Mom comes in

"Can you believe these kids?", Pops says as he shakes his head at mom. "I mean, we gave that kid a great name. Much nicer than ours, and then he and that fruit loop of a wife went and named their kid 'Mowgli'. What the hell does that ‘Mowgli’ mean anyway?"

"I believe it’s a character from a novel", says Mom. "That's right. 'The Jungle Book', by Rudyard Kipling. Don't you remember the Disney movie?"

"Rudyard? Now Rudyard would've been better than 'Mowgli', says Dad. “At least we could call the kid 'Rudy'. Hell even 'KIPLING' would've been better than 'Mowgli'! Why? 'Cause we could've had a grandchild called 'Kip'. I don't like this 'Mowgli' crap one bit. I bet even the kid in the book wished his name was something other than Mowgli!”

"Hun, it's their lives, and it's their son”, says Mom. “They can call him whatever they want."

"Well they've obviously done that!", says Pops.

"What's your problem anyways?", says Mom. "Mowgli has our last name"

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RE: You Can't Name Your Baby That! - 7/14

Postby Eric_512 » Sun Jul 26, 2009 12:41 am

Kparsons901, your posting was excellent. Very creative and funny.

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Re: You Can't Name Your Baby That! - 7/14

Postby jaus tail » Mon Jul 27, 2009 7:21 am

i entered the mansion with my wife, all the family n friends n people whom we pretends to know welcomed us with our son, held in my hands covered with loads of fur clothes to protect from the cold, and then as all went on their regular business conversation with my father already having a job for his grand-son in the business, i look at all the photo's in the wall the classy ons, then my eyes go in 1 painting when the bell rang, the servant opened and i saw my mother n father in law in not so rich clothes, where their cleavage was less than my family's .So we dine, then my mother-in-law asks me as to what is the baby's name, my mother grins n says 'clint, peter or edward' i take my wife in, have a discussion on the names

i
honey can i talk to u for a second

wife
sure (we go in)

inside

wife
u wanna name the son felix after a cat, laughs

i
listen there's a reason and

outside

father in law
and what could the reason be

father
u cant name ur cat after a cartoon character

mother
what will all my friends say

father
dont i have the right to name my grand son

i
f for fate that he has come in our family (put my arm around my wife's soldier), e for the enjoyment he shall have as a kid in the richest of all schools and the dearest of all homes , l for the lust he'll have in his puberty, i for his interest which he will develop n after that he'll live his own life so

father in law
x for what the vagabond's life which he might end up as, i dont believe it despite being in such

mother
we will only call him by that name, his official name will be clint

father
clint is far better than an x in a felix

mother
it can be his middle name

all leave, i write his name on paper, clint f landsworth,
i write the word 'felics' for the care n support which i will give him no matter what he chooses to be, i take my painting in the wall, its a family painting 'by nigel landsworth' n my small photo is there as a 8 yr old kid

i
you wont fuflfil my dad's dreams

wife
hey,

we hug n i see my kid laughs

please someone lemme know how this piece is, does it appear written from a writer

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RE: You Can't Name Your Baby That! - 7/14

Postby Krym73 » Wed Aug 05, 2009 10:07 am

The large large patio table was set, salads made, grill heating and the drinks were on ice. Everything was set. Sean was making sure I didn't over due things, so that ment he was doing more than his fair share of getting ready for this family get together.

"Honey, where's the bbq utinsels?"

"In the dish washer, Sean. We used them the other night, remember?"

I was ordered to sit on the sofa and not move. You see, I was very pragnant and a week past my so called due date. I was crabby, hot, and miserable. We had been fighting over names for our child and finally settled on two. The grandparents would understand them, but I wasn't so sure our friends would.

About an hour into the festivities, Sean called for everyone's attention, "I know you all have been anxiously wondering what we would be calling our child. Well, we finally settled on a couple names." He was so proud and seemed to be literally beaming.

Groaning softly I waited for him to drop the bombs.

"We decided that if we have a girl her name should be Meady Mae Tilda Thompson. If we have a boy he will be called Clarence Eugene Thompson." Sean informed our friends and family.

There was absolute silence, then grandma Thompson blurted out "Why would you saddle those names on that poor child?!" Her name being Meady Mae and her sister being Tilda. "Tilda and I were teased all through school. Children can be so cruel, calling us names like Needy Meady or Titty instead of Tilda."

Poor Sean's beaming glow dimmed then went out altogether as he turned to his grandfather and father. Their looks said it all. I simply sat there feeling quite smug giving Sean the "I told you so" look.

A week later we welcomed little Kate into the world.

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RE: You Can't Name Your Baby That! - 7/14

Postby stargazerlilly12 » Fri Aug 14, 2009 5:48 pm

PRODUCE SECTION BABY

"Jonathan Twigley, put down your magazine and help me name our baby," my wife Geraldine yelled, causing our brand-new, blond haired, blue eyed baby girl to wake up and start wailing. Geraldine stroked the baby's head gently until she went back to sleep. I left my cooking magazine open on my chair and sat beside her in the hospital bed. She had a baby name book about the size and thickness of a Bible and we skimmed through it for over an hour. Nothing caught our eyes. "We have to find something," I groaned, "my family is going to come and meet the baby in half an hour!" She scanned the room and suddenly, her eyes widened and I could tell she was having an epiphany. She said in barely a whisper, "Gourmet Sous Chef Jonathan Twigley, I think I know our baby's name." I must have looked really puzzled, because Geraldine said, "Get your magazine, Jon."

Half an hour later, we entered the waiting room with our baby in our arms. My huge extended family fell into silence. I cleared my throat and let it out, "I am proud to present my daughter, Vidalia-Onion Idaho-Potato Twigley." Everyone began laughing. My mom said, "Of course you didn't name your daughter after vegetables. I knew you were going to name the baby after your Aunt Ruth." "We didn't like the name Ruth." Geraldine said. "How'd ya get THAT name, then?" my dad chuckled. "From this." I said, handing him my issue of Culinary Delights Monthly. There, in the recipe for chicken pot pie, was VIDALIA ONION and then IDAHO POTATO. Aunt Ruth had a seizure. However, everyone else accepted Vidalia-Onion Idaho-Potato Twigley for who she was. Our little produce baby.

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RE: You Can't Name Your Baby That! - 7/14

Postby stargazerlilly12 » Fri Aug 14, 2009 5:48 pm

PRODUCE SECTION BABY

"Jonathan Twigley, put down your magazine and help me name our baby," my wife Geraldine yelled, causing our brand-new, blond haired, blue eyed baby girl to wake up and start wailing. Geraldine stroked the baby's head gently until she went back to sleep. I left my cooking magazine open on my chair and sat beside her in the hospital bed. She had a baby name book about the size and thickness of a Bible and we skimmed through it for over an hour. Nothing caught our eyes. "We have to find something," I groaned, "my family is going to come and meet the baby in half an hour!" She scanned the room and suddenly, her eyes widened and I could tell she was having an epiphany. She said in barely a whisper, "Gourmet Sous Chef Jonathan Twigley, I think I know our baby's name." I must have looked really puzzled, because Geraldine said, "Get your magazine, Jon."

Half an hour later, we entered the waiting room with our baby in our arms. My huge extended family fell into silence. I cleared my throat and let it out, "I am proud to present my daughter, Vidalia-Onion Idaho-Potato Twigley." Everyone began laughing. My mom said, "Of course you didn't name your daughter after vegetables. I knew you were going to name the baby after your Aunt Ruth." "We didn't like the name Ruth." Geraldine said. "How'd ya get THAT name, then?" my dad chuckled. "From this." I said, handing him my issue of Culinary Delights Monthly. There, in the recipe for chicken pot pie, was VIDALIA ONION and then IDAHO POTATO. Aunt Ruth had a seizure. However, everyone else accepted Vidalia-Onion Idaho-Potato Twigley for who she was. Our little produce baby.

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RE: You Can't Name Your Baby That! - 7/14

Postby Dhayeand Knyhte » Thu Sep 10, 2009 4:34 pm

"Who's going to say it? Me or you?" Agatha asked her husband, Edward in a hushed voice.
"I think we should both say it at the same time." He replied.
"okay on the count of three... 1....2....3..."
"Well, everyone, Eddie and I have been thinking, and we decided on a name for our beautiful little girl."
"That's right, we're going to name her"
"Markus Lee Anderson" both of them said in unison.
"WHAT?!" Agatha's mother, Marian, struggled to recompose herself. "Dear, you realize that's a BOY'S name, right?"
"yes, mother, I am well aware of that."
"So why did you name her that?"
"Well, it had a certain RING to it, so to speak. I mean, it just spoke to me. It was like she was telling me she wanted to be called that."
"Oh, my.... My granddaughter...... with a boys name... what has this family come to..." Marian fell over.
"Mom?"
"I'm fine, just a little...... surprised, is all. I mean, I think you should name it what you want to, but why MARKUS?"
"I told you mother, because we feel it's a name that'll fit her in the future."
"I'm just wondering, but why has Marian been the only one talking? This is a FAMILY TALK. That means the family participates in it." Edward finally spoke up.
everyone else responded with a low mumble 'well, we've got nothing against it. Oh, look at the time, we should be leaving soon, bye!' And the room was emptied.
"thanks for your help everyone......"

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Re: You Can't Name Your Baby That! - 7/14

Postby OrangeHotaru » Sun Oct 04, 2009 5:47 am

It was strange seeing my family and my husband’s family all huddled in a room together, standing around and eating drippy foods from paper plates. They were courteous to each other in that Southern way where you’re never quite sure if they genuinely like you or they think you’re the devil come to earth. I had gotten used to this kind of uncertainty with Adrien’s family, but I was fairly sure they hated me. Fairly sure.

Now, my family were no heathens. They were good God-fearing people, for the most part, but they were Presbyterian. Adrien’s family? Southern Baptists. That’s all I need to say. I felt the urge to look to heaven and cross myself, but I could never remember what order to touch my shoulders.

“Ahem.” I coughed timidly. Adrien looked at me expectantly. We had decided I should give this announcement for some reason. Oh right, because it was my idea. Stupid idea, Adrien’s the better orator. Thankfully, nobody else looked up.

“Everyone!” boomed Adrien, in that resonant voice of his, “Pepper has something to say!”

I tried to smile and glare at him at the same time, but it came out as a sort of awkward grimace. I looked around at all the expectant faces. I thought to myself, God, just put a noose around my neck.

“Good evening, everyone. So glad to have y’all here, tonight.”

Some people smiled, but most everyone was urging me silently to get to the point.

“Um, as you know, we’ve recently had a beautiful baby girl,” I said, indicating the little bundle in my husband’s arms. At this point, everyone ooed and awed and clapped, buying me some time, until someone decided to ask, “So, what’s her name, already?”

I mentally threw some daggers at the offender (my meddling cousin, no less) and said, “Um… well, it took us a while to decide. We looked at some unisex names like Casey or Tyler…”

Adrien urged me with his eyes.

“But we finally decided on a name that we think holds meaning and value.”

“Well, what is it?” several people demanded.

“Wenamedherpersephone,” I said quickly.

“What?” called Adrien’s grandmother, “Speak up, honey, I’m half deaf!” All the parents and grandparents nodded in agreement. I sighed.

“We named her,” I said, slowly, “Persephone.”
“Symphony?” asked Adrien’s amused father, “Because you’re both musicians? You hope she’ll become one, too?”

I wanted to die. “No, not Symphony,” I said slowly and loudly, “Persephone.”

“Stephanie?” chimed in my grandmother, smiling over at Adrien’s dad, “Well, that’s a pretty name…”

Bless her poor, little old lady heart, I thought.

“No,” I said, “Per-SEPH-o-ne. Persephone!”

The bemused looks I was now receiving indicated that I had finally been understood. It was a bittersweet moment.

“Persephone?” asked Adrien’s grandmother, her brow furrowed, “Why, isn’t she that Hades woman?”

“Yes,” replied Adrien’s scholarly elder brother before I could, “She’s was the bride of the underworld.”

“The bride of underworld has meaning and value?” asked Adrien’s father dubiously. He had the same look as five years ago when he was convince that I was the devil corrupting his son. My own family looked at me with more understanding looks, but they were curious for an explanation, as well.

“No, the underworld isn’t all bad,” I explained, “It’s where all the dead go in Greek mythology.”

One look at their faces told me this explanation didn’t cut the mustard. I looked to Adrien for help, but he intentionally avoided eye contact. He had honestly been long opposed to this name, but we had compromised that I would choose the first name and tell everyone and he would choose the middle name. I turned back to my audience.

“Look, Persephone is not a bad person,” I said, desperately, “She’s the maiden of the Springtime, and the daughter of the goddess of the Earth. She’s the reason for the changing of the seasons.”

I immediately regretted saying that because about fifteen eyebrows flew up at once.

“I…I didn’t mean REALLY,” I said, “Just in Greek mythology.”

“So, what does the name really mean?” asked my sister. I think she was trying to help, bless her heart.

“Um…bringer of destruction?”
Several heads shook, but most looked steadily at me. It wasn’t entirely over. I could redeem myself. I had hoped I would convince them with reason and power of words, but I realized it was too late for that. I went with my last resort…the name my husband had chosen.

“Her middle name’s Amy.”

“Oh, what a cute name!” Adrien’s grandmother exclaimed. Everyone agreed and insisted on holding little Persephone, whom they all called Amy. Except my grandmother, who called her Stephanie.

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