Envy - 6/23

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RE: Envy - 6/23

Postby Matthews » Sun Oct 04, 2009 6:15 pm

I wish I didn't envy the guy she's after, but I can't help it.

I am constantly in a state of nausea, which I try my hardest to conceal when I'm in her presence. But whenever she talks about him, or when she talks to him, I find myself about to upchuck my insides. He's tall, and good looking, and funny, and sweet and shy and athletic and skinny and a bunch of other words I wish never existed.

Is it selfish of me to wish quietly to myself that he'll be an I have a potty mouth or it won't work out and she'll come running back to me? While I tell her out loud I'm happy that she's happy and how can he not like her? At least the former is honest.

I don't even know this guy and I'm already contemplating all the ways I could get away with murder with no one ever knowing the better. I feel as if a part of me has hacked itself away and started walking--nay, sprinting--away from me. All the while a large, heart breaking smile plastered on its face, and a sweet word lilting from its tongue.

How can she not understand? I am broken to pieces anymore, devastated that the girl who stole my heart is suddenly over and done with me; but I can't let it get to me. Because who really falls for the one who stays, who breaks down, and never gets back up again? Not her. So this I have a potty mouth, this intruder, will never get the better of me because I am finally going to be the person I use to see in the mirror, the stranger she described to all her friends when we were together. I will be the one she fell in love with.

I wish I didn't envy the guy she's after, but maybe it's the kick in the ass I needed.

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RE: Envy - 6/23

Postby LeanneGoGators » Fri Oct 16, 2009 2:20 pm

I wish I didn't envy people who wrote good query letters so much, but I do. They write a book and somehow summarize it into a short query letter.
How is this possible?
I've tried several times to write a query letter for my book, no luck. I can't summarize 80,000 words into a few short paragraphs, therefore, my manuscript will never be read by an agent because I can't write the query letter.
I envy those who can summarize thousands of words into a few lines successfully, I can't.

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RE: Envy - 6/23

Postby Electrawriter » Wed Oct 21, 2009 3:22 pm

I wish I didnt envy you so much,but I can't help it. You people. You people with lives. I wish I could remember what it was like to love and to feel more than envy and hate. I wish I could remember how this all started in the first place. How I ended up here. My street friends and I have conversations about this all the time. Conversations about you. We talk about you as you walk by in your warm coats and high boots. Pushing baby strollers with warm blankets. They are my brothers and my sisters now. The street people. Some of us are sick from alcohol or drugs, some of us have a mental illness. Some of us just lost our jobs and have nowhere to go. We are a family. This family , my family....is full of sickness and pain. My family will turn on each other in a blink of an eye. I dont really mean it when I put you down. You people who walk by. Some of you look at us with pity. Others , with disgust. I wish I didnt envy you so much. I wish I could find a way to put it all behind me. I know I can change, I know I can if I were given a chance. There is no room though. There is no room in the shelters. There is no room in the alleys. There is no room in the hearts of those who want to give. For one more person like me, but mostly, there is no more room in my heart or soul to keep trying. I am scared. I am cold. I am weary. I wish I could thank you for the quarters you give me. But I am ashamed. I pretend to be like the others on the street. The ones who dont care....and suddenly I realize, we are all pretending. We are all pretending not to care that you look at us with pity or disgust. We all care. We all envy you. We are just too tired and haunted to move. We are too worn and beat down to try. I wish I didnt envy you so much, now I wish I could just die.

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RE: Envy - 6/23

Postby Electrawriter » Wed Oct 21, 2009 5:15 pm

To Leeangogators.. new user....You just did !!! You just took what you wanted to say and put it into a few simple words... now you just have to read more about query letters in writers digest here, and I bet you will be surprised at yourself ! If you have written an 80,000 word book, then you can sum it up ... you are the " little train that could" ... and you know you can !!

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RE: Envy - 6/23

Postby JenJerRadience » Tue Nov 03, 2009 12:38 pm

“I wish I didn't envy Patrice Carmichael so much, but I can't help it. I can see her house from my balcony; if I lean way over to the left and use my binoculars I can see her rooftop. It just sits there mocking me; the sprawling sun-washed Spanish tiles. She doesn’t deserve all that you know. She has no real talent or credentials. All she ever did was marry Albert Sergeant and she only married him after she stole him from me. He knows that I’m much better suited for him; intellectually, socially, even our interests and goals. I know because Googled all of it. And her looks came straight out of a plastic surgeons bag of tricks. Unlike me, you see, I have an understated natural beauty. But that will all change real soon. I know it will. Albert knows it to.” A sound like fireworks rose, with a flash of flames, from the direction of the sprawling red tiled roof. I smiled. He jumped, grabbed his radio and called for emergency crews to respond. Looking in my direction suspiciously;
“Mr. Sergeant received a letter this morning, Ma’am. That is why I’m here.” The detective pulled out a plastic pouch with my letter in it. It looked smudged and blackened. Fingerprint powder!
“You ruined it!” I screeched, irritated by the condition of my once beautiful letter penned on perfumed parchment.
“So you admit that you recognize this letter?” asked the officer.
“I didn’t say that,” I retracted. “It’s just obvious that it was once a beautifully written letter that now has black soot all over it, that’s all.”
His radio beeped and he stepped away to listen.
“Damn it!” he exclaimed. “Yes sir. Absolutely.” He replied to the disembodied voice, glancing toward me. He replaced the radio to his hip, reached behind his back pulling handcuffs from his belt.
“Miss Black, I’m going to have to ask you to come with me.” He said moving in my direction.
“Why?” I asked, incredulously.
“I am placing you under arrest for suspicion of murder.” He said, his jaw clinched and grim.
“What!” I exclaimed. “Who?” I demanded, hoping that my anticipation was not obvious.
“Mr. Albert Sergeant was killed as he drove his wife’s Alfa Romero off their property just moments ago. He was being escorted to police headquarters to discuss your letter. The explosion we just saw was him, dying, Ma’am.”
My flesh went cold, my vision dimmed, the room spun. “Nnnooooo!” I screamed.
“You have the right to remain silent…” He recited.
“Nnnooooo!” I screamed again.
“You have the right to an attorney…” Continuing, he reached for my arm. Eluding his grip I bolted for the open balcony window; from where we had watched the explosion. I ran fast and frantically. He followed shocked and fearful. I hurtled a small table, and bounded the railing. That cruel policeman was a liar. I would fly to my love and take him from that plastic Barbie doll wanabe or die…

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Re: Envy - 6/23

Postby nohow » Mon Jan 11, 2010 4:09 pm

I wish I didn't envy Jaime so much, but I can't help it. She is arrogant, superficial and selfish, but she is happy and I am not.

Her arrogance makes her popular because others think that she must have good reason to be arrogant, that she must have something so superior that it gives her the right to be unkind and dismissive of them. Never mind that no one knows what that something is – it must exist because no one can be that arrogant without – if she bestows her friendship on them, they will become a part of her life, and by association, become superior themselves.

She is not extremely beautiful but her superficiality makes her attractive to men because she is an open book. Men know what to expect from her and what she expects from them. They find it refreshing because she is not coy and she doesn’t play games. It matters not how much she wants them to change because they are so starved for honesty and so sick of feminine wiles that they will do as she bids so long as nary a lie passes through her cherry glossed lips. Unfortunately, the best judge of truth from lie is the liar.

Selfishness is an asset in her profession. She is merciless in business dealings and cares not for feelings and emotions, so long as they are not hers. Decisive and crude, the only decisions worth making are the ones that don’t require a decision.

She is everything that I never want to be but she is happy despite me and I envy her for that.

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RE: Envy - 6/23

Postby mellsvillelove » Wed May 26, 2010 6:58 am

I wish I didn't envy Amanda so much, but I can't help it. Yes, her husband is in Iraq. Yes, he is in danger every day. But he is coming home in two weeks. He is safe.
My husband will never come home. My husband died over there.
I wish she would understand that I am happy for her and David but while her family is together again, I have to raise my son alone.
We are Army Wives. We stand in the silent ranks. We know the risks of deployment. We all suffer and sacrifice. But not everyone loses their husband. Army wives are strong but we are divided.
I wish I didn't envy Amanda so much, but I can't help it. I just want my husband to come home.

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RE: Envy - 6/23

Postby cherrycoke77 » Wed Jul 14, 2010 10:36 am

I wish I didn’t envy my friend, but I can’t help it.

I really can’t. It comes naturally, instinctively when you always get what you want, when you want it. Never thought that the world spun like that, but with you, the world seemingly makes one exception.

You’re gorgeous. You’re brilliant. You have a compelling personality. You’re confident. You’re kind. You’re generous. And did I mention you’re so brilliant?

2200 on the SAT is one thing. 8 different boyfriends all within the same year (all of which I was already crushing on, might I add) is another thing. Winning several awards in debate club is once more another thing. Having a popular status at school, and you wonder why I’m envious?

And the coincidental part of it all, is that you’re like me. Appearance wise, that is. We both have similar values, spawned from the same culture. We have the same interests. So why is it that you have all these things, when I don’t?

Sometimes I simply just wonder.
But envy is a terrible thing, don’t you think?
Perhaps I should start counting my OWN blessings from time to time…

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RE: Envy - 6/23

Postby abc.katydid.xyz » Fri Nov 05, 2010 2:34 pm

I wish I didn't envy Brianna so much, but I can't help it. Brianna is pretty. Not quite drop dead gorgeous, but pretty enough. An older sister who's a great role model, and extremely popular, and also works hard to make her pretty before every dance. I've always wanted an older sibling. Being the oldest, there is so much responsibility. I feel like I'm wading through mud, and with no one in front of me, I have to make up my own path. No one is there to tell me where the deep parts are, where I'm bound to lose a shoe. Brianna, her sister has been through it already... Brianna has a clear track to follow, as my little brother will have. Brianna's mom, a super-involved soccer mom with a huge white S.U.V. Brianna's dad, a funny guy who everyone loves even though Brianna claims to hate him. Brianna really is the all-American girl, while I'm the girl caught between a redneck family, where my true loyalties lie and where I'd love to devote all of my time, effort, and life, and a group of friends who are far from redneck even though they all grew up in a small town full of four-wheelers and snowmobiles their whole lives. I listen to country, they listen to main stream pop. And I know that I shouldn't envy Brianna, shouldn't envy anyone, really, I do. I can't help it. I can't help but hate the eye-rolls I get when I say, "I've never heard this song before..." when everyone is screaming and going, "OMG I love this song!" at a school dance. I can't help but get my feelings hurt when Brianna makes comments like, "Snowmobiles are lame." "Ugh, another horse story!" I mean, c'mon. I listen to you talk about dance all the time... guess what? I THINK THAT DANCE IS LAME. I think that POP MUSIC is lame. And yet I don't hurt your feelings just because I was raised differently, just because I have different interests. I mean, if you were a real friend, Brianna, you'd just shut up and nod with a fake smile plastered across your face like I do when I feign interest in your stories.

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RE: Envy - 6/23

Postby suneelyn » Mon Nov 08, 2010 9:04 am

I wish I didn't envy healthy people so much, but I do.

Every single day of my life I have terrible pain throughout my entire body. Fibromyalgia and Sjogren's Syndrome causes me incredible burning, throbbing, aching and continuos pain. I envy people who wake up feeling rested and, even though they may not like what they do, ready to work. I'm jealous of those who can exercise freely, walk their dogs and keep active for more than a short period of time. It burns me up (at times) when I hear about families enjoying physically demanding activities like hiking or biking and I have to limit my family's adventures because I just can't do that much. Some days writing is more than I can handle.

Most people I know don't value their health- they don't consider it an asset. They complain about so many things, not realizing how fortunate they are to be pain free for most of the time. Since a positive attitude is imperative to my well being and ability to be productive, I try to squash the green-eyed monster. I work on being as positive, healthy and active as I can, but seeing people with robust and glowing healthy bodies does bring out the envious side of me.


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