Diet Journal 6/3-69

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akcotham
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Re: Diet Journal 6/3-69

Postby akcotham » Thu Jun 05, 2008 7:25 am

My Diet Journal

Week one: I know I keep saying this, but today’s definitely the day. It’s finally time to start dropping this weight. Not only do I feel bad, but my health is critical: my blood pressure is too high, and I simply can’t breathe as well as I used to. 150 lbs., that’s my end goal. Dr. Hanson says it’s a lifestyle change, and to do things in one mass overhaul, but I think incrementally may be better.

Week two: It was hard to start this process. But—slowly but surely—I’ve walked every day this week. I’ve made Goodwill, three miles roundtrip, my daily destination. I carry a bag of stuff each time, so not only am I doing a little upper body work (I know there are biceps there somewhere!) I’m also lightening up the extra junk in the closet.

Week three: Walking more. There’s so much more in the closet than I thought! This week, I’m taking two bags—plastic this time, with handles, so I can do bicep pull-ups. I can see people in their cars staring at me, some of them laughing, but I don’t care. I’m feeling stronger every day! (And one bicyclist did give me a thumbs up!)

Week four: MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! I didn’t believe it at first, but Dr. Hanson was right: A quick overhaul turned out to be much easier than incremental changes. (How I wish I’d listened in the first place!) Nevertheless, I’m happy to report that that pesky 150 lbs. is gone, and thanks to Goodwill’s pick-up service—how could I have dragged that horrible media center there by myself?—every last bit of Patrick’s stuff is gone too. And I’m feeling so much lighter having the house finally all to myself, I could simply fly!

Mamamole
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Re: Diet Journal 6/3-69

Postby Mamamole » Thu Jun 05, 2008 9:06 am

Wanda, I liked your story. It had me chuckling from the very start, lost everything but weight! Ha ha! The ending was super funny too.
Dear Diet Diareah.....very cute. I had to wonder what the raspberry goo was, though. Well if nothing else, it certainly made you goo, but good!
Shirley

Mamamole
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Re: Diet Journal 6/3-69

Postby Mamamole » Thu Jun 05, 2008 9:51 am

Diet Journal:
Day 1:
6:00 My "Mournings" meal. Oh, I crave for more!
But alas, my butt. You can't fit through the door!
So, it's:
Two dried beans,
And a banna, no peel.
Black coffee, this sucks, I feel.

My stomach is ill, I took my vitamin pill.
Washed it down with the coffee, but I have the will!

My Second, Scrumptious, Meal of The Day!
I'm starving! I can't keep my hunger, at bay!
12:00
1 slice of crappy dried toast
Some tuna in water,
no slice of roast.
Three figs, not cake.
No mayo, no cheese.
For my weights at stake!

I can do this, I'm strong!
I have will, it won't be long!
It's just two short weeks.
Two lose these butt cheeks!
I can do it, yes I can!
I am woman, I have a plan!

6:00
My delicious dinner! It's on the way!
I ordered out, so at home I'll stay.
My butts too big, and to heck with that!
I think I'll keep my well earned fat!

This diet thing, it's for the birds!
Pecking and picking makes me regurge!
I'll eat my potatoes, some steak and dessert too!
I can do this, a diet without picking at poo!

Amen!
Shirley

Mamamole
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Re: Diet Journal 6/3-69

Postby Mamamole » Thu Jun 05, 2008 9:57 am

Diet Journal:
Day 1:
6:00 My "Mournings" meal. As, I crave for more!
But alas, my butt. You can't fit through the door!
So, it's:
Two dried beans,
And a banna, no peel.
Black coffee, this sucks, I really feel.

My stomach is ill, I took a vitamin pill.
Washed it down with coffee, I have the will!

My Second, Scrumptious, Meal of The Day!
I'm starving! It's hard keeping my hunger, at bay!
12:00
1 slice of crappy dried toast
Some tuna in water,
no slice of roast.
Three figs, not cake.
No mayo, no cheese.
For my weights at stake!
It's my butt you see!

I can do this, I'm strong!
I have will, it won't be long!
It's just two short weeks.
Two lose these butt cheeks!
I can do it, yes I can!
I am woman, I have a plan!

6:00
My delicious dinner! It's on the way!
I ordered out, so at home I'll stay.
My butts too big, and to heck with that!
I think I'll keep my well earned fat!

This diet thing, it's for the birds!
Pecking and picking makes me regurge!
I'll eat my potatoes, some steak and dessert too!
I can do this, a diet without picking at poo!

Amen!
Shirley

Mamamole
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Re: Diet Journal 6/3-69

Postby Mamamole » Thu Jun 05, 2008 9:59 am

I changed it up, a bit in my second version.
Shirley

chuckbower
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Re: Diet Journal 6/3-69

Postby chuckbower » Thu Jun 05, 2008 6:14 pm

AKCOTHAM:

Great story. Loved it!

wendygoerl
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RE: Diet Journal 6/3-69

Postby wendygoerl » Fri Jun 06, 2008 8:49 am

Begin the diet: This diet seems to make sense. Keep it raw or minimally cooked, avoid wheat. Very logical. Why don't more people know about this diet?

Week 1: Dad brought home a bunch of Danish and gave me such a look as I was going of the door I broke down and ate one to please him.

Week 2: My boss poked a finger at the ham & cheese I was making and threw it out. Said the bun wasn't toasted enough and the ham was rubbery and cold. Didn't ask whether it was for a customer or not.

Week 3: Ended up eating out of the vending machines today. Couldn't afford anything else. Bag of Chex mix and some peanuts was the best I could do.

Week 4: Couldn't decide where to go for fish this Friday, so we stayed home and made mac'n'cheese.

No wonder nobody heard of this diet. It's impossible!  


Bevy
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RE: Diet Journal 6/3-69

Postby Bevy » Fri Jun 06, 2008 1:45 pm

Beginning Stats: Weight 145
38-32-39

Week One
The commercial said the weight gain was not my fault. And to think I had been blaming myself with those chocolate brownies every night! Being a woman over forty is the culprit. Thank goodness there is a cure. The blue pill will boost my metabolism so I can shed pounds and pounds of fat cells.

Week Two
No results. All I "shedded" was the $100 I had saved for vacation. Decided to listen to Chuck Norris and ordered the Total Gym. I think I lost a pound just setting it up. Before I actually take a test run, I guess I should read the 100 page manual, check out the accessories offered and research which exercises I need. Wouldn't want to end up with bulging biceps, would I?

Week Three
Just finished the manual and research. Whew! Now I'm ready. Too bad the Total Gym is cluttered with the folded laundry and the kids school books. It's probably for the best, though. I think what I REALLY NEED is ginseng tea. This is actually doctor approved. Something about blood sugar, insulin production and retaining fat.

Week Four
The tea turned out not be as tasty as I thought. Had to add about four teaspoons of sugar to make the medicine go down. But I stuck to it, drank fifteen cups a day and lost ten pounds! How was I to know it would be in my boobs? Now I look like a pear! What a minute, didn't I read something about a pear diet…..

Ending Stats: Weight 135
33-32-39

Bevy
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RE: Diet Journal 6/3-69

Postby Bevy » Fri Jun 06, 2008 2:03 pm

I am really enjoying the journals.

Bullethead , what a gruesome thought! I loved it. Sounded like Stephen King using an alias. Losing a few pounds wouldn't hurt me, but I think I'll try something a little more conventional. I also got a good chuckle from Wanda's Diet Diarrhea…..

Bev

eagletom
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RE: Diet Journal 6/3-69

Postby eagletom » Fri Jun 06, 2008 2:42 pm

I first thought of losing a little weight when my wife would return my little hey-wanna-go-take-a-nap invitations with a tolerant smile and a quick peck on my cheek. My wife is athletic, shapely and responds to exercise efficiently which she does regularly. I was not athletic and did not respond well to exercise. But I have needs and so decided to shape my body into something my wife couldn't stop touching. And am I so very thankful.

After putting some thought into it I had a revelation: if I burn more calories than I take in I should lose weight which should go far toward my goal of godlike abs and pecs and things like that. So here's how I put it together.

Hey, if I want a beer it costs me so much exercise. Doughnut – that'll be twenty minutes on the elliptical and a set of medicine ball crunches. That was my line of logic.

I added a caveat to prove my seriousness and make it easier for others – especially my wife - to think of me as a man of determination and fortitude. My wife will not feed me or quench my thirst under any normal circumstance (abnormal circumstances would be like passing out, etc.).

So I started four weeks ago on a Monday with my list of food that I would eat and the corresponding exercises to make sure the food would pass right through me leaving nothing behind and maybe taking some fat with it.

At first it was a little hard as I look back on it and I'm not going to complain but let me say that proper fitting shoes are a REALLY good idea. I learned that too many squats lead to unwillingness to move which actually made it easier to not visit the fridge.

I'm happy to say that for a person whose self-image was not a before-picture and not at all close to what was reflected in the mirror, I stayed with it and lost a substantial amount of weight in these four weeks. I am much closer to my self-image and the after-picture is admittedly pretty decent I must say.

My wife, however, has taken issue with the new me. She says things like "I feel guilty now for buying cookies…" and "All you ever think about is working out… you forgot how to have fun!" Self-absorbed and egotistical pops up in her whispered asides when I strut by.

My friends don't seem to want to take the advice I give out even though it doesn't cost them anything. So when I tell Sam I'd be willing to help him train after we're done playing golf, suddenly, he has things to do. He didn't used to. Sometimes we'd do a couple of pitchers after a round but now he gets a little touchy when I suggest walking instead of taking a cart.

Anyway, I've pictures of before and after should anyone need inspiration… just reply to this post and I'll get back to you.

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