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How do You Research Human Behavior No One Talks About? : Conversation question • Writing Forum | WritersDigest.com

How do You Research Human Behavior No One Talks About?

Every month in Writer's Digest's InkWell section, we pose a question related to the writing life. Tell us your thoughts.
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DrG2
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How do You Research Human Behavior No One Talks About?

Postby DrG2 » Mon Sep 23, 2013 9:09 pm

Content deleted.
Last edited by DrG2 on Thu Sep 26, 2013 9:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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shadowwalker
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Re: How do You Research Human Behavior No One Talks About?

Postby shadowwalker » Mon Sep 23, 2013 11:49 pm

I dated a very nice guy for a while - but no, the bedroom was not his strong area. Kinda like waiting in line for a fantastic concert and then having it sold out when you get to the door. I didn't break up with him because of that, but it was kind of a relief not to have to deal with the whole bruised ego/apologies/lies any more. So yeah, I can see a woman using that as the reason, if there wasn't any other strong reason to stick around. I can also see women finding some other excuse rather than tell the guy that (which I would say, based on what friends have said to me, is the more likely scenario). I think (yes, opinion only) if a woman actually used that as the reason for breaking up, it would mean she had some really strong other dislikes about the guy.
"It seems rather like wanting to be ... a writer, rather than wanting to write. It should be a by-product, not a thing in itself. Otherwise, it's just an ego trip." - Roger Zelazny

It's really not that hard. Just tell me a story.

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xylene
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Re: How do You Research Human Behavior No One Talks About?

Postby xylene » Tue Sep 24, 2013 12:49 am

You could watch Sex & the City as a reference point :lol:

I think most women wouldn't completely give up on a guy they like after two incidents of bad sex with a guy, so she is likely to give him another chance or two before ending it. But if the bad sex continued, it'd probably be a deal-breaker if her feelings for him aren't very deep yet. Of course, she's might also want to keep her friends up to speed on the whole decision making process - many women do when it comes to men.

Her age/maturity level could also be an important factor - the more mature your lady character is, the more likely she is to give him another chance at sex if he sucks.

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Re: How do You Research Human Behavior No One Talks About?

Postby LilliesCarol » Tue Sep 24, 2013 8:16 am

Well, DRG2 you pose an interesting scenario. Being an old lady and looking back over twenty-five years of being alone before I met Mr. Right, you might say I've had some experience. Not all women, from what was discussed among my girl friends, have ever reached complete satisfaction in love making. They pretend it was wonderful, when indeed it was highly unsatisfactory to the woman. Not that the man did not show male prowess, but she could not reach satisfaction. This could be for a number of reasons. He did not show her enough attention before the event, he rushed into it, as you mentioned a quickie. Most men do not take the time to understand the woman they wish to have sex with. Their urge comes fast, where as the woman likes to be wooed. Although your character may have many traits she likes about the man, except for his almost rude sexual behavior, she may put up with him for a while, but in the end would leave him, if she were a thinking woman. On the other hand, some women don't care and don't mind being used by a man. These women usually have a very low esteem of themselves. It will all depend upon what type of woman you build your character's personality upon. Hope this helps.
Long, long afterward in an oak I found the arrow still unbroke
And the song from beginning to end, I found again in the heart of a friend
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Re: How do You Research Human Behavior No One Talks About?

Postby shadowwalker » Tue Sep 24, 2013 8:32 am

I think we need to bear in mind that for some women, sex of any kind isn't that important. If she cares for the guy, and realizes that it is important to him, she'll do it because she cares for him. It doesn't necessarily mean she has low self-esteem or doesn't "think". It's a recognition of their differences and of their feelings for each other.
"It seems rather like wanting to be ... a writer, rather than wanting to write. It should be a by-product, not a thing in itself. Otherwise, it's just an ego trip." - Roger Zelazny

It's really not that hard. Just tell me a story.

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Re: How do You Research Human Behavior No One Talks About?

Postby updog » Tue Sep 24, 2013 9:22 am

Well, we can't know the hearts and minds of all women, obviously, but I looked this up for you (so now that's in my search history, thanks), and found an article that said while 85% of men think their partner reached "complete satisfaction" the last time they had sex, only 64% of women say they actually did. Take what you will from that. Another study found that 75% of women never get there with intercourse alone, and 10-15% never do under any circumstances. So yeah, I'm guessing as a whole, women are used to disappointment.
"Is it weird in here, or is it just me?" ~ Steven Wright



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Re: How do You Research Human Behavior No One Talks About?

Postby mammamaia » Tue Sep 24, 2013 12:32 pm

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Re: How do You Research Human Behavior No One Talks About?

Postby MookyMcD » Tue Sep 24, 2013 3:17 pm

Oh, for god's sake -- You have never dated someone who wasn't good in bed? Women can be bad in the sack, too. If you're reasonably in touch with your feelings, I don't think a Y chromosome is a bar to seeing it from the other side of the bed. I mean, sure, men are pretty much guaranteed an orgasm, but that's note exactly the entire dance.

If, on the other hand, you have reached adulthood without ever finishing a sexual encounter and thinking, "meh," then you can just read this as jealousy.

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updog
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Re: How do You Research Human Behavior No One Talks About?

Postby updog » Tue Sep 24, 2013 5:06 pm

"Is it weird in here, or is it just me?" ~ Steven Wright



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DrG2
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Re: How do You Research Human Behavior No One Talks About?

Postby DrG2 » Tue Sep 24, 2013 8:51 pm


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