Brown Eyes

Network with other poets, including fans of Robert Lee Brewer's Poetic Asides blog.
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Mallori
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Brown Eyes

Postby Mallori » Thu Apr 04, 2013 9:32 pm

Even before I knew you,
several of my favorite people had brown eyes.
Those large, round pupils surrounded by a warm, brown pool.
I told you how they were my favorite eye color
because my momma has them.
That must be why they are my favorite shade.
You gave me a look of disbelief that made me
wonder if you knew how they looked like a
light caramel when you turned your face to the sun.

KnightWriter
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Re: Brown Eyes

Postby KnightWriter » Fri Apr 05, 2013 12:20 pm

I liked this one too! I'm in the process of...um...editing (yeah, let's go with that one!) a poem where I couldn't find the best words to describe the eyes from a lady I know. Just saying "blue-gray" is so Henry Kissinger. So, I settled on "smoky ocean." I'm still like: "I wrote that?"

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Mallori
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Re: Brown Eyes

Postby Mallori » Fri Apr 05, 2013 2:55 pm

Thanks KnightWriter! I am going to go check your work out soon. "Smoky ocean" is very descriptive and gives a definite mental picture. Which poem is that from of yours? I will read it. Again, I welcome any constructive criticism :)

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Re: Brown Eyes

Postby KnightWriter » Mon Apr 08, 2013 3:15 pm

That one is going through the mill right now. I'm still working off of my cards, thesaraus, and just what the heck all those 90s teen love shows crammed into a single episode. I'm going to try to publish it professionally instead of here first because the guidelines here count anything we post here as published. Not that I'm saying this place is beneath me in any way or anything...I just want EVERYONE to have access to it. Not just the 6-figure member quota here.


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