"I've Done My Time"

[Colz]

[Colz]

I figured I'd share one of my published works with everyone. Let me know what you think....

I've done my time
in the darkness of despair.
Locked in the cold cuffs
in a lonely cell, aware.

I'd counted down the days
until my poor heart would be free.
I'd keenly hidden my
true feelings of misery.

Staring out the steel bars
I saw my life as it should be.
And it just so happens that
you came to rescue me.

Finally I was able
to let my heart go.
My pent up desire
was for you to know.

Exactly as I'd dreamt it,
fantasy became reality.
Now I feel complete
because you're here with me.

[Colz]

So I'm guessing you all are speechless?? I know you guys are reading this, tell me what you think.. please.

[Dear Dean]

Relationships can be freeing or we can be imprisoned by relationships. Thanks for reminding us. Dean

[madcapmaggie]

It's a good start. If you want more specifics, email me privately.

[heartforjesus]

oh my gosh, that was beautiful! i have several with the same you know genre... i like your writing, this is my first time on here and yours was the first i got to read!

[anchorpoet]

see the reply i let for 'heartforjesus' on her post 'am i any good?' in regard to finding fresh images for looking at big ideas. the lonely heart feeling imprisoned is not really a new idea. also, if you plan to write rhymed poetry, you really must pay attention to rhythm and meter. yours is not as rough as William McGonagall's (see the Wikipedia entry) but it does need to be polished and tightened.

Becky