Synching dialog with speaker's actions.

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OregonGramps
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Synching dialog with speaker's actions.

Postby OregonGramps » Mon Aug 01, 2016 4:16 pm

I'm trying to write a scene in which the speaker is pointing out places on a map. For example: "The treasure may be buried 'here' or maybe 'here'," she said pointing at her map.

I'm not sure how to construct that sentence. Any suggestions.

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Zorg
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Re: Synching dialog with speaker's actions.

Postby Zorg » Mon Aug 01, 2016 9:46 pm

Maybe: "With two well-manicured fingers pointing at two opposite points on the map, she said, 'The treasure may be buried 'here' or maybe 'there.'

Or: "The treasure may be buried 'here,' she said, then quickly pointing to the opposite side of the map,"or maybe 'here'."
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G.E.Plum
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Re: Synching dialog with speaker's actions.

Postby G.E.Plum » Wed Aug 10, 2016 3:49 pm

Is she pointing out just two places?

What about --

She put her finger on a point on the map. "The treasure may be buried here--" she moved her finger to a spot about an inch away-- "or here."

"The treasure may be buried here," she said, tapping the map with a finger, "or here." She moved her finger to another point on the map.

OregonGramps
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Re: Synching dialog with speaker's actions.

Postby OregonGramps » Wed Aug 10, 2016 4:20 pm

Good suggestion. I was mostly concerned with punctuation but I like your example.


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