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Your Story 54 : Take it Outside! • Writing Forum | WritersDigest.com

Your Story 54

Take your food fights, word games and other creative diversions out here.
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G-Girl2
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Your Story 54

Postby G-Girl2 » Wed Dec 11, 2013 4:42 pm

I've just come back from voting on the Your Story 54 opening lines---there are some good lines there, but I'm disappointed mine wasn't chosen so I'm posting it here for critique. Is it because ellipsis marks have fallen out of favor as a pause for effect, or is it just too gross? :D

Margaret was certain that the sharp pain in her lower back was from a day spent overworking in the garden...but then her water broke.

Ewww :?

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Elibet1
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Re: Your Story 54

Postby Elibet1 » Wed Dec 11, 2013 11:05 pm

Very funny G-Girl. :-) Mine wasn't chosen either. And I thought it was hilarious. :mrgreen:

I just went and read the finalists. I didn't like a one of them.

Never mind, there's always next time.

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G-Girl2
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Re: Your Story 54

Postby G-Girl2 » Sat Dec 14, 2013 5:59 pm


james.ticknor
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Re: Your Story 54

Postby james.ticknor » Mon Feb 17, 2014 11:44 am

I had something similar, but went with mythology. It was something like, "Posidons wife knew that when her water broke, this baby was going to be trouble."

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G-Girl2
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Re: Your Story 54

Postby G-Girl2 » Thu Feb 27, 2014 1:18 pm

Even better! If yours had been on the list, I'd have chosen it. ;)


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