Myth Maker - Your Story 60 Finalist

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Myth Maker - Your Story 60 Finalist

Postby TiffanyLuckey » Fri Sep 05, 2014 11:16 pm

Myth Maker

From Chaos came forth Night, from Night came forth Day, and from Day came forth Doug.

A lesser-known figure in the mythology of eccentric billionaires, Doug was responsible for prototyping worlds based on Earth’s science fiction novels.

One ordinary day in his office of unfathomable dimensions, the dispirited second-rate god was planning his next career move when a solitary leaf of uncertain origin came floating down into his view. Drifting and dropping, as if caressing the ether to land in Doug’s inbox, the mysterious leaf turned out to be a once-crumpled slip of paper. On the paper was scrawled:

1) Start with the Earth template.
2) Subtract non-human animals.
3) Add atomic elements found in the crust of Neptune.
More details to come …

Doug sipped coffee from his “World’s No. 1 Creator” mug before setting out to the test galaxy.

In his usual manner of efficiency bordering on laziness, Doug farmed out the work to a group of disgruntled demons that were on strike for being “hellishly underpaid.” An early progress report from the demons stated that the planetary system was up and running, the humanoids were fantastically productive with stone tools and mud structures, and that there appeared to be very little conflict. Not yet having received any further instructions, Doug requested a follow-up at the end of the first local millennium.

After the passage of 3,172 Earth years, a demonic communiqué arrived. Doug was shocked at the news that the humanoids had colonized the entire test galaxy. In a short time they had crafted its tens of thousands of elements into technologies heretofore not existing anywhere in the universe, dominated all other life forms by sheer force, and were sending armed scouts to investigate other galaxies.

Meanwhile in the Milky Way, crickets chirped mere inches away from a computer screen on which an apocalyptic tale was unfolding at the hands of Percy Wade, a used car salesman by day. Mr. Wade dreamed of publishing a sci-fi novel to join the ranks of history’s most misunderstood philosophers. What he did not know, however, was that a squadron of characters in his unfinished story is anxious to meet its maker—and eliminate him.

Doug was perplexed about the situation and lonely under the weight of responsibility as the demons had renegotiated their contract and returned to Hell. He wondered what would happen to the many worlds affected by the newly dominant species, even more about what would happen if the scouts found the ill-fated author. Who would have to repair the damage? But, as Earth’s curmudgeonly billionaires could only dream up a rudely bureaucratic mythology, Doug basked in the sunshine of “that’s not my job.”

Soon enough the aforementioned squadron burst through the door, dripping with deicidal bloodlust, to ask the man behind the counter of the 7-Eleven for directions to the home of one Percy Wade. They were only half a block away, but truly grateful they had brought along a copy of Earth Languages For Dummies.

Answering his door, poor Percy Wade didn’t have a chance to urinate on himself before being blasted with an electromagnetic pulse, which sent him on a hallucinogenic voyage chronicled in the sci-fi novels of other galaxies, abandoning his body to crumble to a pile of dust.

Their creator having been eliminated, all the scouts returned to the test galaxy; being pulled, in fact, by an implosion reducing the region to a massive black hole. From his office, Doug observed the event in a quandary of detached dismay. His gaze drifted lazily toward his inbox to find an ominous memo:

As a result of your oversight, the test galaxy has been demolished. Protocol demands that construction does not begin before the design is complete. This mistake cannot be repeated. Your employment is hereby terminated.
Percy Wade

The formerly forgettable Mr. Wade, it is told in certain circles of snobbish prestige, was made a wealthy man in return for the crafting of an obscure mythical legend of world creation and intergalactic voyage. It all began with an inconspicuous letter of instruction from someone identifying himself only as “Doug.”

Some short time later, a computer screen flickered in an office of unfathomable dimensions displaying the final page of an eerie tale: The Legend of the Ill-Fated Myth Maker Percy Wade. The typist leaned back and sipped coffee from his mug bearing the familiar phrase “World’s No. 1 Creator.”

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