"The Companion" - Your Story #49 Finalist

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TiffanyLuckey
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"The Companion" - Your Story #49 Finalist

Postby TiffanyLuckey » Mon Apr 29, 2013 10:11 am

The Companion

I awoke to find a boy with a ghost-like look about him, wearing a mask, analogous to Zorro’s, while attempting to play golf with a coconut. I sat up and watched him for a moment before he, about to take a swing at the coconut with an imaginary golf club, noticed me.

“Welcome, ‘aptain, to my glorious island,” he said, swiping his mask off with a bow. “Lovely place, ain’t it?”

“What?” I paused and began rubbing my head. “Where am I?” I asked as I looked about, noticing paper boats covered in words.

“Beats me,” he responded. “If I had a map, compass or our coordinates, and if my ships sailed, we could get off.”

“Do you really talk like that or are you impersonating someone?” I asked.

“I wanna be a sailor,” he said.

Parched, I decided to walk over and pick up the coconut he was using as a golf ball. I looked down and found a jagged rock.

“How’d you get here?” I asked as I picked up the rock and slammed one edge into the coconut. “Ow!” I cried as my hand slipped, the sharp edges of the rock cutting me. I tossed the rock away and broke the coconut further with my hands. I divided the milk into both halves and offered one to the boy. He shook his head then continued with the conversation.

“Hardly remember, been here so long…” The boy clicked his tongue with a shrug, and then nodded toward the other half of the coconut, which I was saving lest he wanted it later. “You goin’ to drink that?” he asked. I shook my head.

“Don’t you want it?” I asked.

“How’d you plan on getting us off?” the boy asked instead of answering my question.

I placed the coconut down and to the side as I said, “Haven’t even begun think about it. What do we have?”

“A dictionary missing pages, a coconut and a mask.”

“We could put a message in the coconut,” I suggested.

“That’s brilliant,” he said. “We’ll rip the words out o’ the dictionary and put ‘em into the coconut. We can tie it with the mask and toss it into the ocean. Although neither of us know our coordinates, and you probably don’t remember what your last ones were.”

“We could tell them to search, considering we don’t know where we are,” I responded, eating the coconut’s meat.

“Good idea. You finish eating that and I’ll find the words. I wonder if this has arse.” The boy picked up the dictionary and began flipping through.

“I found it! They do have arse in here!” He ripped the word out as I stared at him.

“Why do we need that word?”

“Spice. Here’s what I have: ‘Help. We are stuck on a sand mound with no notion where we are, so get off your plump arse and locate us. Thank you.’”

“I don’t think the last part is advisable,” I said.

“Why?”

“It’s rude. Have you been here so long as to forget good social skills?” I asked. He grinned again, took both halves of the coconut (emptying the one I left for him on the sand), stuffed the words into it, tied it with the mask, and tossed it into the water.

“Like I said, I wanna be a sailor, and sailors don’t have good social skills.” He grinned then began bawling as a shark jumped from the water and ate the coconut.

“’Ey, buck. You ‘avin’ trouble finding luck?” The boy and I turned around to find a fisher, who spoke with a cockney accent, on a small boat coming to the island. “Nice ships,” the man said to me, nodding toward the paper boats as he stepped off.

“I didn’t make them,” I corrected.

“Then who made ‘em?” I pointed to the boy who was to my side and the captain appeared worried. “There ain’t anybody here, buck,” the captain said. “Just me an’ you.”

I looked at the boy and noticed again his ghost-like appearance as I watched him as he walked over to the dictionary. “C’mon, buck. You’ll feel bet’er once you’re ‘ydrated. You’re lucky I’m fishing in this ‘ere area. Otherwise you would’ve been among the ghosts ‘ere, waiting for new companions.”

The captain put his arm around me and led me to his boat. I looked over my shoulder and met the boy’s eyes. He waved and I waved back before entering the fishing boat.

ArseHole
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Re: "The Companion" - Your Story #49 Finalist

Postby ArseHole » Wed May 22, 2013 4:24 am

This is well written--BUT the items are not used to get the person off the island. If you take away the three items, the person still gets off the island because s/he is rescued. This story lacks creativity and originality--people are always rescued from desert islands. A story with at least a little ingenuity in using the items to get off the island would've been better.


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