THE GLITCH by Giovanni Gambino

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THE GLITCH by Giovanni Gambino

Postby Giovanni » Wed Apr 18, 2012 6:02 pm

The Glitch by Giovanni Gambino

“You talking to me?”
“I said are you talking to me?”

Doing his best Taxi Driver impersonation, Alfred Washington, a young good looking African American actor looks seriously into the mirror. He starts to say the line again, when Bernard, his best friend busts up laughing.

Bernard tries to convince Alfred that his obsession to become the next great “Italian Gangster” actor might not be such a great idea, since Alfred is definitely not Italian.

But Alfred points to all the posters around his room, Pacino, De Niro, the movies The Godfather, Goodfellas, adorn the wall. Its quite obvious Alfred doesn’t agree, and of course, a big argument ensues, only to be stopped by his ringing phone.

Answering the phone as Don Corleone, Alfred learns he has an audition for “Real Good Goodfellas” the new Italian gangster film. With a “Forgetaboutit” Alfred is out of the door, and heads to the audition.

Brokenhearted, Alfred learns that part he is up for is that of a “Mugger #1”. Wanting to turn it down, Alfred only accepts to do it when he learns that the famous Director Martin Poorsese has signed on to direct.

On the set, Alfred waits for Director Poorsese to yell action. Little does Alfred know that Director Poorsese obsession for “realism” is going to cost him dearly. Instead of actors for the “Wiseguys”, Director Poorsese has hired real “WISEGUYS” who have forgotten to put blanks in their guns.

“Action!” That’s the last word Alfred heard before he went to the great beyond.

Standing at the PEARLY GATES in a long line, Alfred has two pieces of paper in his hands. One is a good resume. It lists all the good deeds that Alfred had done. The other is a resume of all the bad deeds that Alfred has done.

Alfred finally makes it to the front of the line where he places each piece of paper on a scale. The scale is the great decider if the good outweighs the bad, you get a set of really cool wings. If the bad outweighs the good, it pitchforks and horns for life!

As the scale is just about to show Alfred’s fate, an old Woman behind Alfred drops her papers. Alfred bends over to help her and doesn’t see the scale tip to the Hell and Brimstone but… When Alfred helps the old woman the scale tips back over to Heaven and the Pearly Gates open!

“Oops, there’s been a Glitch!” Alfred couldn’t believe St. Peter said there had been a glitch..

Alfred was shocked to find out years ago, there had been a… Well, a… GLITCH. St. Peter and the fellas up here had made a terrible mistake.

It seems they had sent Alfred to the wrong family as a baby. He was supposed to go to a family of Italian heritage in Bensonhurst, Brooklyn. That’s explains Alfred’s fascination with anything Italian.

And, then with a bang of gong, St. Peter shocks Alfred and gives him a “do over” big time! Alfred Washington is sent back to earth to give it another try.

“Out of the way!” Joe Pangini yells to the neighborhood African-American Fed-Ex driver as he races down the steps of his Bensonhurst brownstone. Joe’s wife is moments away from having a baby, and Joe has to get her to the hospital.

But I have a package for you Mr. Pangini.” Jimmy the Fed-Ex driver tries to tell Joe. Joe screams he’s already got a package on the way as he and his wife jump in the car and race off.

“It’s a boy!” Those words are magic to Joe’s ears. He always wanted a son, and has already picked the name Sal for his first son. Wanting to hold Sal, Joe gets the shock of lifetime, when he sees that Sal, is a baby boy, but… He’s a beautiful African-American baby boy.

FLASH! Jimmy the Fed-Ex man saying, “He has a package”.

Screaming he’s got his package right here, Joe Pangini races out of the hospital to fine Jimmy the Fed-Ex man.

Just as he about to give Jimmy the Fed-Ex man one hell of a beating, he hears “STOP! Little Sal is your son!” Turning he sees his wife, with the doctor who quickly explains the DNA evidence proves that Little Sal is Joe’s son.

Oops, seems like there has been another Glitch!

Life is tough for Little Sal. The first day of school, the teacher kept asking for Sal Pangini to raise his hand. Each time she asked, Little Sal, would raise his hand, but she wouldn’t call on him. Finally she got mad and sent him to the office and Joe had to come down and straighten things out.

Then there was the time, a bunch of boys called Little Sal an Italian word that is not very nice. Well, Joe couldn’t do anything cause they were kids, so he went to boys houses and beat the heck out of their dads for teaching them ugly words.

Then when Joe was old enough to drive, the Police kept pulling him over and arresting for stealing the car. Each time Joe has to the local Precinct and straighten thing out.

But no matter what, Joe loves his son, and the bond they have as father and son is the talk of Bensonhurst.

Now most fathers when told by their sons that they wanted to be an actor would have a heart attack. But not Joe, he told Sal if it made him happy, then go for it! Heck, Joe would even be his manager.

Times are tough, and Sal doesn’t get much work, but Joe keeps up the encouragement and finally Sal gets a break. He gets cast as the Grape in a Fruit of the Loom underwear ad. Finally getting his first paycheck, Sal is off to the bank.

Sal is standing at the bank, which Sal hates because they always make a big deal out of his name and his skin color, Sal can’t believe his eyes.

Right in front of him is Gina La-Lalola, the most beautiful, sexiest, actress in the world. Finally getting enough nerve to speak to her, Sal just starts to say something when the BANK ROBBERS come through the door.

Ordering everyone to stick their hands up, the robbers are get busy and start stealing, but soon they make a fatal mistake. They recognize Gina La-Lalola and start giving her a bad time.

Now, that doesn’t set well Sal, not one bit. Not only did his father teach him to treat women with respect, he also taught him the fine art of boxing.

And in no time, Sal is giving the robbers a good old Bensonhurst beat down. And with seconds, three out of the four robbers are on the ground, and fourth one is about out. With a big haymaker, the fourth robber goes down and his gun goes flying in the air.

Sal should have kept an eye on the flying gun but he didn’t. He was too busy looking at Gina La-Lalola, who is smiling and winking at him.

So when the gun hits the ground and goes off, Sal had no idea, but its time for the PEARLY GATES!

Oops. Another Glitch! St. Peter apologizes, but Sal, hits the roof, and threatens to file a complaint with the “Big Guy”. St. Peter, pulls out all stops, and with the help of the great Italian scientists, Leonardo Da Vinci, Galileo Galilei, Enrico Fermi and Evangelista Torricelli comes up with a way that might just work.

Waking up six months later in the hospital, Sal looks around as sees his Pop, his Mom and the very hot Gina La-Lalola.

He then learns that he has become a hero in all the press and Director Marin Poorsese wants him for his next blockbuster “GOODFELLAS go to the CASINO to meet THE GODFATHER!”

On the set on the first day of shoot, Sal is all smiles when he finds out that the PRODUCER of the movie is the one and only, St. Peter.

The End. Follow Giovanni Gambino!/GGBrooklynNY ... 1760543945

Copyrighted 2010 Giovanni Gambino

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