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I need some help avoiding too many Ands : Writers' Block Party • Page 2 • Writing Forum | WritersDigest.com

I need some help avoiding too many Ands

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ALShonce
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Re: I need some help avoiding too many Ands

Postby ALShonce » Thu Sep 01, 2016 2:20 am


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devildogwhite
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Re: I need some help avoiding too many Ands

Postby devildogwhite » Thu Sep 01, 2016 2:40 am

There is no Miss Zarves. There is no nineteenth story. Sorry.

ALShonce
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Re: I need some help avoiding too many Ands

Postby ALShonce » Thu Sep 01, 2016 3:52 am

It's been many years since I went to school. I have been studying grammar but I don't think it's sinking in. This is why I decided to come to a forum that might help me improve, but I think my Ghost Writer consultant should have pointed this out to me. But perhaps she just got so wrapped up in the overall story that she didn't notice it. I once sent the whole book to her, and she zipped right through it only correcting pronunciation. (I'm currently transitioning to a new one so wanted to start fresh and resubmit chapter by chapter.) So I might be on to something but I just need help getting there. Can anyone suggest any reading or help me by correcting some of my work so I can improve overall as a writer?

Edited to fix typos

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pls
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Re: I need some help avoiding too many Ands

Postby pls » Thu Sep 01, 2016 10:16 am

Facebook page (Friend me!): http://www.facebook.com/TheHighSchoolNovels

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shadowwalker
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Re: I need some help avoiding too many Ands

Postby shadowwalker » Thu Sep 01, 2016 12:17 pm

"It seems rather like wanting to be ... a writer, rather than wanting to write. It should be a by-product, not a thing in itself. Otherwise, it's just an ego trip." - Roger Zelazny

It's really not that hard. Just tell me a story.

ALShonce
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Re: I need some help avoiding too many Ands

Postby ALShonce » Thu Sep 01, 2016 8:04 pm

My publishing house assigned my Ghostwriter to me so I have little control over that. However, she did just retire to become a stay-at-home mom for the first time. So I am starting fresh with a new Ghostwriter. This time we are going to go chapter by chapter, and hopefully she will be able to help me much more than the previous one. I agree that the previous one was not the best. I did notice that there was a lot of things wrong with my writing style, that is why I am here, to get critique and to improve myself.

I will look into creating different kinds of sentences,but I would love it if someone would correct my quote above so that I can compare the differences. I have been studying different grammar books but none of them seem to be helping much, presumably because they are too broad or I am reading the wrong section.

I did not know where else to post it so I decided to post it in the writer's block forum. I don't know if I should take this to the critique section being that it s more of a writing style problem than anything.

Thank you everyone for all your help, and for pointing these things out for me you guys are tremendous help.

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wdarcy
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Re: I need some help avoiding too many Ands

Postby wdarcy » Fri Sep 02, 2016 10:16 am

"Wagner's 'Das Rheingold'" (Oxford 1993). Winner of the Society for Music Theory's Wallace Berry Award, 1995.

"Elements of Sonata Theory" co-authored with James Hepokoski(Oxford 2006). Winner of the Society for Music Theory's Wallace Berry Award, 2008.

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DrG2
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Re: I need some help avoiding too many Ands

Postby DrG2 » Fri Sep 02, 2016 3:41 pm


ALShonce
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Re: I need some help avoiding too many Ands

Postby ALShonce » Fri Sep 02, 2016 5:56 pm

Well, I adjusted a few things in this paragraph. I've been doing some research on the net, and downloaded a copy of Elements of style by Strunk and white. I bought this book many years ago, but lost it in a move or three so I don't think it's too wrong to locate a copy of it to review it

Aden fled to the nearby boy’s wash room and locked himself in the first stall. He clenched his hair in frustration, his heart hammering in his chest. He knew he shouldn’t take his frustrations out on his sister; she understood him like no one else.

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wdarcy
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Re: I need some help avoiding too many Ands

Postby wdarcy » Tue Sep 06, 2016 2:19 pm

"Wagner's 'Das Rheingold'" (Oxford 1993). Winner of the Society for Music Theory's Wallace Berry Award, 1995.

"Elements of Sonata Theory" co-authored with James Hepokoski(Oxford 2006). Winner of the Society for Music Theory's Wallace Berry Award, 2008.

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