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Socialization and Study, Which One Is More Important to a Teenager? : Writers' Block Party • Writing Forum | WritersDigest.com

Socialization and Study, Which One Is More Important to a Teenager?

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Ellen
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Socialization and Study, Which One Is More Important to a Teenager?

Postby Ellen » Sat Feb 04, 2006 4:17 pm


Ellen
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Posts: 283
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Socialization and Study, Which One Is More Important to a Teenager?

Postby Ellen » Sat Feb 04, 2006 4:17 pm

My daughter recently transfered to a new school and I noticed that she was not happy with the new environment. She told me that she felt depressed and missed her old school and friends very much. She had a little worry that she couldn't make new friends because students in her new school are different from those in her old school. She asked me to enrol her back to her former school but it is impossible. My husband and I understood her feeling and told her that it would take time to get to know each other and eventually she would make many friends like she did before. My cousin got to know that my daughter wanted to transfer back to her old school and she was very upset. She said, " She is fifteen and she should know that is she who wants to transfer to a better school. She has to know the consequence. Study is more important than making friends. She has to focus on study." I felt so confused that I doubted if my daughter's reaction to the new school was normal.
I know many Asian parents focus on their children's grades and don't care about socialization.
Is study really more important than socialization? I'd like to hear your opinions.

Jamesaritchie
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RE: Socialization and Study, Which One Is More Important to a Teenager?

Postby Jamesaritchie » Sat Feb 04, 2006 4:44 pm

I believe both are important. It shouldn't be an either/or situation. But it's also highly important to learn how to socialize, how to make friends, in new settings and situations. Life is about change.

Ellen
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RE: Socialization and Study, Which One Is More Important to a Teenager?

Postby Ellen » Sat Feb 04, 2006 5:18 pm


abqwriter
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RE: Socialization and Study, Which One Is More Important to a Teenager?

Postby abqwriter » Sat Feb 04, 2006 7:03 pm

I find that when kids think there are choices, they pick the easiest road.  When they think that a door is closed, and they must move on that the transition is much smoother.

We transferred our kids out of public school and into private school when they were in 1st and 3rd grade.  Then we moved into a very good school district, so last year we transferred them back to a different public school.  They went from 800 kids from K through 12 to 1200 kids in 6th - 8th.

It was a very rough transition, but both kids were clear there were no choices.  And I decided that my daughter was better off having a transition year in 8th than as a freshman.  This year, she has thanked me numerous times, because she is finally adjusted and making friends.  My son is also making friends this year.

It takes a while.  Give her lots of sympathy, hot tea, hugs and love.  But don't give in if you believe where she is now is the best choice. 

Besides, when it's all through, you'll have a great article for a parenting magazine!  :)  (And she'll have a great one for one of the teen magazines, too.)


TinaBanina
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RE: Socialization and Study, Which One Is More Important to a Teenager?

Postby TinaBanina » Sat Feb 04, 2006 7:27 pm

Ellen,

I totally understand your daughter's circumstance. In fact, I have changed schools 3 times in my life. And, believe me, everytime was a hard one. I have been through exactly what your daughter has and I can feel exactly how she feels. However, the good part is that eventually she will like the new environment. Remember, every change in life takes time to get used to. Especially that your daughter is a teenager, it may take her a longer period of time to fit in. Life goes on no matter what!

Tina

Ellen
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RE: Socialization and Study, Which One Is More Important to a Teenager?

Postby Ellen » Sat Feb 04, 2006 7:35 pm


Ellen
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RE: Socialization and Study, Which One Is More Important to a Teenager?

Postby Ellen » Sat Feb 04, 2006 7:37 pm


Curious
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RE: Socialization and Study, Which One Is More Important to a Teenager?

Postby Curious » Sat Feb 04, 2006 7:40 pm

My eighteen-year-old daughter spent seven weeks in a psychiatric hospital last year, learning to fight her depression. In part, this crisis may have been brought on by a very tough school transition when she was about thirteen. Sure, she's completely fluent in German now, but that ability begins to pale when compared to the damage done to her health.

I'd urge a note of caution. We tend to think that our teens should just tough it out. I'd try to learn the exact factors bothering your daughter. Is it just a new-to-the school rough patch? Or are the other students there tormenting her, refusing to associate with her because she is from the wrong crowd, wrong class, etc.? Some rough patches don't just go away. Teens don't say everything they're feeling, either. Mine told us that she was fine, just fine--until she wasn't.

Clare

Ellen
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RE: Socialization and Study, Which One Is More Important to a Teenager?

Postby Ellen » Sat Feb 04, 2006 7:57 pm


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