PITCH WORKSHOP: Entry #8

Hey, folks–

Today’s Script Notes Pitch Workshop entry comes from a young screenwriter named CC, who writes in an email:

“Hi, Chad– I’m just getting started as a writer and your blog has been such a great resource. I’ve been reading it for a while and have finally worked up the nerve to submit a pitch for a television series to the pitch workshop.”

Well, first of all, CC– thanks so much for finding Script Notes and reading!  And congrats on starting the “writing life”– whether you wind up a bestselling novelist or a million-dollar screenwriter, I love it when people finally take the plunge and begin writing! 

And thanks for sending in your pitch… I hope you get some valuable feedback!

For the rest of you, here’s CC’s pitch for Sarah Weekly, a one-hour TV dramedy… critique away!…

Logline: “Sarah Weekly” is a light-hearted drama that follows 30-year-old Sarah Neel as she tries to navigate a path to a new life with her weekly horoscope as her guide.
 
Synopsis: The morning of her 30th birthday Sarah Sofia Neel had a nice life: nice boyfriend, nice job, nice apartment. By noon, all that’s left is her 30th birthday. When Sarah finds a weekly horoscope that seems to have warned of her life’s recent upheaval, she wonders what else her horoscope might be able to reveal. With some weekly insight into what’s ahead, Sarah tries to build a new life more fulfilling than the one she had before. Along the way, she learns that life has a reason for everything — and everyone — it puts in your path.

P.S.  And for those of you who would like to submit your own loglines or summaries to the pitch workshop, you can post them in the comments section, or simply email me at WDScriptNotes@FWPubs.com.

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5 thoughts on “PITCH WORKSHOP: Entry #8

  1. Tanya

    I agree with the others’ comments – you’ve got a really solid idea here. I can picture not only your story and main character, but the potential of the actual series. The fact that you have an ever-changing constant in the mix – Sarah’s weekly horoscope – opens up a world of possibilities for story and character as the series goes on, which makes it an appealing project.

    One thing I really like is you open up with conflict – Sarah loses everything holding significance in her life, leading her blind into a new life, until she discovers the link to her weekly horoscope. But where I can feel this story going naturally is if you keep the conflict going within each episode mini-story. Maybe Sarah starts reading too much into her horoscopes and starts to lose sight of people and life in general as she builds her new life…or it could be on the other end of the spectrum – maybe Sarah starts to feel that her weekly horoscopes are controlling too much of her life and are conflicting with her relationships. You’ve probably already thought of possible stories and relationships in your head, but I just wanted to throw some ideas for conflict out there in case you hadn’t thought of it.

    As a side note, I think, depending on the nature of each episode and how it plays out, a story like this could work well as either a half-hour or a one-hour. Depending on how complicated of a story you weave per episode, I can really see it as a one-hour, but a half-hour is also possible if you plan to keep the stories more simple.

    I really like this idea; it has great potential. I hope you’ll find all our critiques helpful, and good luck! 🙂

  2. cc

    hi everyone. first i’d like to thank chad for posting this and i would also like to thank everyone for their comments.

    @ matt racicot: i have thought of making this a half hour show. i’ve kind of been back and forth on that one. i think i’m just going finish the pilot and see what works better. thx.

    @ e. daniels: i’m still fleshing out the supporting characters but right now it’s mostly sarah’s family, her best friend/cousin, the cousin’s boyfriend, and sarah’s new boss. as far as the supporting characters, they’re all kind of chasing their dreams in some way or another while sarah was kind of standing still, figuratively speaking. so sarah is really in an environment that supports her exploration of a new path in her life.

    love to here more from you guys and thx again!

  3. E. Daniels

    I agree– this is a pretty solid concept. I think we could use some more information about the supporting characters, but this is definitely the kind of series that gets made.

  4. Matt Racicot

    WoW!

    Pretty solid concept for someone just starting their writing career. If you had Canadian connections – where it’s apparently easy for a first timer to get a series made – I’d probably be seeing ‘Sarah Weekly’ in TV Guide next season.

    Awesome title!

    I’m sure Chad will provide you with great, truly helpful feedback. I can only recommend (if you haven’t done so already) to watch as many shows like yours to get a grasp of WHAT to do and what NOT to do.

    Annnnnnd, maybe you might want to think of trying a half-hour format instead. I’m just saying, it’s easier. And more salable, I would think..?

    ABC (via CBC) has a ‘single woman navigating life’s latest upheaval’ half-hour titled SOPHIE. The actress is great, but it’s a sub par show – watch it to know which supporting characters to stay away from ie, the gay best friend – the role having been OWNED by Will & Grace, anything too similar reeks of unoriginality.

    Good luck. You have a fantastic concept that breeds wonderful ideas in your readers’ mind.

    A warning: I focused too much on my pilot (after it was written) and didn’t get busy writing 2 follow-up specs of existing shows until long after those that wanted to see other samples had gone on their merry way.

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