The (Third) ''Worst Storyline Ever'' Contest!

Have you got a horrible idea for a story? Well I want to hear about it. Welcome to the (third) “Worst Storyline Ever” Contest - a competition that encourages terrible loglines.  This contest happened before, so click on “Contests” at the bottom of this post and scroll down a bit to see previous incarnations. (If you have any problems or concerns, e-mail me at

“Worst Storyline Ever”


A logline
is a one-sentence line that explains what
your story is about and shows the “hook” – the unique idea that makes
people want to see more.  You see loglines all the time in TV Guide and on the back of DVD boxes. Here are some examples:

  • “Three middle-aged men defeat their midlife crises by starting a college fraternity.” (Old School)
  • “When a Roman general is betrayed and his family murdered by an evil prince, he comes to Rome as a gladiator to seek revenge.” (Gladiator)
  • “In a future where criminals are
    arrested before the crime occurs, a cop struggles on the lam to prove
    his innocence for a murder he has not yet committed.” (Minority Report)

But that’s all the examples I’m going to give you, because I’m not looking for good examples of a logline; I’m looking for bad examples. Nay – terrible, stupid, “oh-my-God-that-idea-is-dumb-as-hell” examples.

Examples of Bad Loglines

1. After an unidentified cow swallows an armed
nuclear device in a botched Homeland Security raid, Agent Tom Anderson
is thrust into an unlikely partnership with buxom organic farmer Daisy
Jones to sift through three hundred cows and 10 barns full of manure as
the clock runs down in a desperate quest to save Kansas City from a
moo-clear disaster.” (past contest winner from Livia Blackburne

“A man’s lifelong plan to dress up like Jabba the Hutt and star in a
new line of workout tapes finally comes to fruition, but everything
goes horribly awry when the man gets ink poisoning, lead poisoning and
mercury poisoning all at once.”

3. “After losing badly in The Kentucky Derby, a
horse is sold to the glue factory where he is processed and bottled,
and we follow the stories of everyone who uses the glue, from a
nose-picking pre-schooler to a dyslexic kidnapper who glues cut-out
letters on a ransom note, until the last drop is gone.” (past contest winner from Chris Whigham

Here are the rules:

1. Stick to the format, but have fun with the idea. You want your logline to be one sentence only and must be 60 words or fewer,
and explain what the story/movie is about. It’s what you put in that one
sentence that will win you this competition. So the trick is to make
your logline a terribly creative idea that’s pitched in a professional
2. The contest will go until the end of the day,
11:59 p.m., EST, Sunday, March 28.  Submissions received after that will
not be considered.
3. To participate, simply click on “Comments” at the end of this post and
leave your submission as a comment with your full name and e-mail. You must include your real name and e-mail.  If you are super paranoid about leaving your name (Google!), use “L. Martin Smith” instead of “Leonard Smith.”
5. You can submit up to two (2) bad loglines. You can include both in the same comment post as you wish.
6. The contest is open to everyone of all ages, save those employees, officers and directors of GLA‘s publisher, F+W Media (formerly F+W Publications).
7. By posting a terrible logline for consideration in this contest, you
are agreeing to the terms written here.

Please note: To be eligible to submit, I ask that you do one of two things: 1) Mention and link to this contest twice through your social media – blogs, Twitter, Facebook; or 2) just mention this contest once and also add the Guide to Literary Agents Blog ( your blogroll. Please provide link(s) so I can verify eligibility. You can e-mail the links if you wish (

The Prizes:

First prize (grand prize): 1) A
query letter critique from me. 2) A follow-up phone call to discuss the
query critique and a plan of action for seeing your work published
(basically: you ask questions, I answer). 3) A one-year subscription to; 4) Praise on this blog from yours truly.

Two runner-up prizes: 1) A one-year subscription to (value $50).

The Judges:


          First Round Judge                           Final Round Judge:
        Chuck’s dog, Graham 
                    Graham’s owner, Chuck
           (pictured age 3)                               (pictured age 11)

* Please do not throw dog mentions into every entry. Graham is an independent judge who is looking for just plain funny.

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66 thoughts on “The (Third) ''Worst Storyline Ever'' Contest!

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  4. Nikki Niswonger

    Due to the type-O I overlooked, I would like to submit this as my second submission.

    Tim Taurus dreams of being NASCAR’s first midget driver and is within arm’s length of The Chase when a video of him committing hate crimes with vegetables is released causing sponsor, Green Giant, to file a lawsuit in which the judge orders Tim to star in the vegetable commercial that would launch his Hollywood career on the Jerry Springer Show.

  5. Nikki Niswonger

    Tim Taurus dreams of being NASCAR’s first midget driver and is within arm’s length of The Chase when a video of him committing hate crimes iwth vegetables is released causing sponsor, Green Giant, to file a lawsuit in which the judge orders Tim to star in the vegetable commercial that would launch his Hollywood career on the Jerry Springer Show.

  6. Ross B. Lampert

    An overgrown Bronx forester, two math magicians (a knot theorist entwined in a tangled affair with a naughty numerologist), and three spiritual seekers (a stumpy ethics professor, a shady defrocked priest-turned-naturist, and a willowy Wiccan) embark on a 123 day (4 month) quest across 5 continents for the One True Tree.

  7. Kelly Neiling

    1) Michael Moore’s newest documentary, Beyond the Plaque, (now in 3D!), will take you into the enigmatic world of orthodontia, only to reveal that there’s nothing shady going on there, but the story takes an unexpected turn when one bold orthodontist illuminates the documentarian’s own crooked teeth and embarks on a four-hour procedure that will put you on the front lines.

    2) Pixar expands its audience base in its latest computer-animated creation, Polly Poledancer, which follows Polly, a Las Vegas stripper, as she uncovers through therapy some of the reasons behind her career choice including an absent father, a pedophiliac brother, and a mother who refused to breastfeed her, all with her lovable sidekick and manager, Kinky Koala, by her side.

  8. Linda Hofke

    Wheelchair Ninjas: A group of elderly super heroes living in an old folks home decide to rekindle their crime-fighting careers by policing the hallways at night, but miscommunications due to slipping dentures, hearing aid malfunctions, and failing eyesight result in blunders that have them karate-chopping each other instead, allowing the villains to escape with the resident’s pre-packaged cafeteria meals.

    Posted twice to Facebook. Links have been emailed.

  9. John Green

    After a disappointing sexual encounter with an extra-terrestrial, Fugazi discovers the ‘Close Encounter’ has given him psionic powers. But he had no idea that his humble attempts to declothe nubile women would thrust him full tilt into an global terrorist conspiracy that only the restless spirits of Michael Jackson and Ronald Reagan could help him unravel.

  10. Lisa C.

    In an attempt to rid her radish crop of ravenous garden snails, Babbette Bonsai, the famously flexible half-French, half-Japanese experimental gourmand of Nicobar Island, strikes upon the perfect solution: selling aphrodisiacal escargot to non-vegan Greenpeace outcasts who dock at her bay for more than just tubers and tasty appetizers (hubba-hubba)!

  11. Elizabeth MacKinney

    Martin Snovatny writes horrible log lines for his pathetic movie scripts, which he unloads on unsuspecting producers by extortion. The fed-up producers hire a team of roller-derby wash-ups to kidnap Martin A-team style and abandon him in an Italian convent where he and the nuns habitually write and direct drab papal documentaries for private catholic schools.

  12. Missy Feller

    1.) A ball of lint, tired of living out his existence in a human bellybutton, decides to leave the only home he’s known to pursue a career in Hollywood.

    2.) In a stereotypical story about anyone in particular, Someone discovers something when he meets No One, who strives to teach Someone anything and ultimately to appreciate nothing.

    * Links sent to your email

  13. jeff raudebaugh

    1)For New York dog walker Caesar, he thought his life was complete, until his veterinarian ordered him to move to the arid southwest or die from ‘damp dog disease,’ where he teams up with his new found Apache life mate “Bitch in the Wind” to begin his life’s real quest of trying to tame the entire wolf population of New Mexico.

    2)Cosmetologist Paolo didn’t realize just what kind of predicament he was in for when he ran his practiced fingers through Maka’anus’ hair, the current Kamehameha King that was searching the world over for the perfect human sacrifice to Moaning Loa – the loud whining Fire God of his people- , and a new hair stylist.

  14. Lia Luus

    Hi Chuck,

    Here are my entries:

    1) Kojak: Resurrection
    Users of an effective and wildly popular kiwi fruit gene therapy cure for baldness recruit Kojak to protect them from both a cannibalistic serial killer known as The Zombie, and Asian gangs engaged in a newly created black market trade in delicious fruit-flavored human brains.

    2) Shaming Primate Ryan
    Controversy surrounds the spectacular success of a high school football team after it is revealed that Coach Zaius put his players on a diet of Purina Primate Chow, and that their improved game play is accompanied by questionable social grooming practices and higher SAT scores.



    contest posted to:


  15. Steven Carman

    After Dexter Green loses his U.S. Postal Service job, his wife leaves him, taking with her Sammy the Goldfish, Dexter’s only true friend–all of which sends Dexter postal, literally, as he opens a postal business, charging his customers less the cost of a stamp to fold a letter into a paper airplane and fling it out his window.
    (These are the two links for my first submission, too.)

  16. Kate Tan

    1) After accidentally eavesdropping on George Bush and Saddam Hussein talking in a betting den (in disguise, of course), a detective-turned-thief uncovers a conspiracy between the two men to make everyone in the world say hi (high) and ‘lo (low) at the same time to make them confused about the opposites, allowing them to take over the world.

    2)When all the cows on Earth unite to start the Cow War of ’10, small town detective’s unfortunate lookalike is forced to embark with his two assistants, a war veteran who claims to be Osama Bin Laden and George Bush’s long lost twin brother, on a mission to save Earth from suffocating at the mercy of the cow’s farting.

    Blog post and blogroll at

  17. Davy DeGreeff

    1) As Sparkles runs for his life from the shadowy men giving chase, he must decipher who he can trust, how he can hide, where he can find another convenience store that carries banana-flavored cigarettes, and why he had to be the 1000th monkey at the 1000th typewriter when the works of Shakespeare erupted from his fingers in RUNAWAY MONKEY.
    2) Two incredible dogs take young Billy on the poop-scooping adventure of a lifetime, and in the process teach him a valuable lesson of love, loss, acceptance, and digestion when two children’s classics are combined and reimagined for the silver screen in EVERYONE POOPS WHERE THE RED FERN GROWS.


  18. Erin Gilman

    1) A guilt ridden member of the KKK seeks to make emends for past crimes by becoming a back up singer for Earth Wind & Fire and ultimately starting the disco band “The Manhattan Man Funk Experience.”

    2)A group of disillusioned college students travel to the Vatican with hopes of petitioning the Pope in order to canonize Richard Nixon.

    – Mentioned contest on my Facebook & Twitter:

  19. Karen Sanders

    1)An obsessed Lost fan’s plans to crash a plane on an island are thwarted when he’s hog-tied by fellow passengers and tossed in a bathroom, where he meets the Cleaners, a group of hobbit-like people who have made it their mission to steal people’s luggage and send it to the wrong destination, and he must make a crucial decision, join the Cleaners, or rejoin humanity and try to live a normal life.

    2)A pro-wrestler whose career was cut short by a freak accident involving his spandex costume, is forced to earn a paycheck by signing photos for his fellow wrestlers, when he gets a severe case of Carpel Tunnel syndrome and must have his right arm amputated.

    -Mentioned contest on my blog & have it on my blog list –

  20. Florence

    ( 1 ) In this PG13 paranormal, romantic comedy the White Knight Halfwit is trapped on planet Euphemism inside the haunted adult entertainment store of Lady Wingnut, and wearing nothing more than red spandex must fight his way through pulsing, flesh eating leather goods, slide on scented poison gels to the strawberry fields and rescue Maiden Dimwit from the Evil Lord Dingbat.

    ( 2 ) This film documents a major health crisis as thousands of New York commuters break out in giant pimples after city law makers pass bill to save millions of dollars running city buses on alternative fuel made with pigeon droppings scraped off city monuments and rooftops, poured into giant vats and mixed with used oil from chicken fryers.

    You have been a link on my blog since it opened last year:

    Florence Fois florencefois at aol dot com

  21. Steven Carman

    BLIND LUCK is the story of a lonely, middle-aged astrophysicist who is determined to find a cure for the blindness that has plagued him since his early twenties, and amazingly he does–realizing all he had to do is open his eyes.

    Steven Carman

  22. Jennifer

    Ex-alcoholic Texan governor with a low I.Q. and a record of business failures decides to run for presidency of the United States in order to revenge his father and consolidate his fortune in the oil/arms industries…

    Oh, was this supposed to be fiction?

  23. Michael Gettel-Gilmartin

    Entry # 2 (can’t get enough of this apparently)

    After a bitter divorce, followed by an unhappy year in a convent, the Bride of Frankenstein finds true love and self-fulfilment in the arms of Zoltan Taroczy, an Hungarian importer of condiments, and becomes the toast of Madison Avenue for her zippy ad campaign: "Everything tastes better with Zoltan’s pepper."


  24. Rosemary Lombard

    Robin Turdus Migratorius and son, Robin T. Migratorius, Jr. ("Turd"), who follow the sun southward and discover the region abandoning lawns for cacti, gravel, concrete, and swimming pools, go into the worm farming business, but the industrious Migratoriuses encounter trouble: the Clew Clat Clan, a dastardly band of fishermen who stop at nothing to worm their way into the business.

    Posted to Twitter:
    tortoogal The idea: write a logline in one sentence (60 word max) telling the worst possible story for a book or movie.
    less than 5 seconds ago via web
    tortoogal A pseudoliterary entertainment. What a kick!
    2 minutes ago via web
    (URL format???)

  25. Bronya Hirschman

    SAY CHEESE tells the harrowing true story of a small blue cheese wrongly convicted of contaminating the entire fridge with mould and the battle of a bunch of sour grapes and other strange fruits to free him from the confines of the trash bin.

    x 2

  26. David Felder

    In 1941, a mad transvestite Nazi scientist, obsessed with teaching snails to speak Bavarian, is trapped in a stalled elevator with a beautiful Russian lingerie model during a British bombing raid over Kiel, Germany, where they learn to overcome their mistrust and natural animosity to become lovers and share undergarments in this political sci-fi love story.

    Post is on my facebook and blog:!/Redlef?ref=profile

  27. Valerie Norris

    SUV-driving fast-food buying soccer mom realizes that squirrels have conspired to replace her with a Stepford-style cookie-baking wife, so SDFFBS-mom wages all-out squirrel war, utilizing everything from poison traps to heat-seeking missiles, which increases global warming and incites Al Gore to side with the squirrels in this epic battle to regain her family and her life.!/profile.php?ref=profile&id=1033900017

    (I thought this entry was successfully uploaded last week, but I don’t see it here, so I’m trying again.)

  28. Harclubs Bartag

    Everyone at school hated Leonard and his friend Adam, but that didn’t matter because they had each other, then it went to hell one horrible morning when a truck accidentally ran over Leonard’s head, now to ease his guilt at having abandoned his only friend, and to find the rest his spirit needs, Leonard must find Adam a new friend.

  29. Christine Ramirez Boone

    After the baseball fraternity Alpha House nearly destroys Gorgon Manor during an ambush rave party, an epic battle of geektacular proportions ensues when manor residents, a coven of campus vampire misfits, challenges the jocks to a twenty-four hour, winner-take-all battle of fantasy fighting games where reputation, girls and lives are at stake.

    Armed with her silver bedpan and a walking stick, Dolores Clairmont must team up with forth floor orderly Theodore Johnson to fight off a pack of TV watching, shuffleboard playing zombies if they are going to save what’s left of Shady Oaks retirement center.

    Guide to Literary Agents is on my blogroll

  30. Amy L. Sonnichsen

    Twelve-year-old Zbynek, the world’s youngest Slovakian orthodontist, must learn English while solving the most difficult case (of crooked teeth) he’s ever encountered, in this rousing, masterful Doogie Howser, M.D. spinoff entitled ZBYNEK CEHOLNAJ: KID ORTHODONTIST.

  31. Pete Aldin

    1. Retired meditation instructor Willy Falvorian discovers there’s more in his navel than lint when his umbilical cord begins to grow back and claims to be the Messiah.

    2. When a pack of dingos refuse to eat her baby, psychotic woman Helen Grinkel turns the tables by eating one of their pups, sparking a dingo-human war which in turn destroys the entire Australian EcoTourism market.

  32. Melissa Eiselein

    After being abandoned by her parents, husband and Dalmatian named Daisy, Rene Cooper, Pough County’s only female Porta-Potty pumper takes charge of her future when she binds fortune teller Mystic Mary to a portable plastic throne and threatens to break Mary’s crystal ball unless she receives a prediction of long life filled with happiness, love and good fortune.

  33. Michael Gettel-Gilmartin

    When a crazed chef with a penchant for poisoning threatens the digestions of world leaders at the White House’s inaugural “Russian Roulade” dinner, husband-and-wife Secret Service agents, Willis and Phyllis Sprackle, pose as roulade contest judges and give the villain a good grillin’ while ensuring the President doesn’t land in the soup.


  34. Bronya Hirschman

    Growing up liquid was great, but when Abe Er , gets canned he’s dis-draught, then to top it all, somebody pulls his tab and Abe Er explodes and though he’s frosty, flat and malted he’s puzzled by what ales him, then, full bodied with extra hops, he’s drafted, now he must decide; will he be crushed?

    tweeted it twice but as a technophobe can’t figure out how to show you :(

  35. Elle Jauffret

    Forgotten celebrity Pop star Diana James faces the biggest decision of her life: preserving the life of her adored pet and only friend, puppy seal Albert, or kill it to wear its fur on her back for a red carpet event in order to catch the paparazzi’s eyes and assure herself a successful Hollywood comeback.

    (I shared the posting on my facebook page and emailed my FB-less social network).

  36. Amanda LaPera

    Loosely based on the heart-wrenching true story, beached dolphins wash ashore on a remote island of cannibals who convert to vegetarianism after being inspired by the selflessness of the tribe’s witch doctor in his lead of the harrowing rescue and rehabilitation of these marine mammals.

    Heralded for discovering the breakthrough cure for chocoholism, Candy basks in the glory of her new found wealth and status before being faced with the not-so-sweet truth of Jellyvine’s serious side effects, which leaves Candy with a difficult choice to make: unwrap her secrets and lose everything or sugarcoat the dangers for money and risk melting under the pressure.

    (I emailed the links to my facebook and twitter postings)

  37. BonSue Brandvik

    When the by-product of an experimental diet pill, designed to release unwanted fat through an individual’s nail beds, takes on a life of its own and is stolen from the lab, secret agent Rex Atom battles the contagion and vengeful former supermodel, Zebra Cushion, in a race to stop the ensuing epidemic before it reaches unsuspecting Venice Beach body builders.


    Twitter BonSueB:http://www.guidetoliteraryagents.

  38. Jane Lebak

    When five-time Worldwide Belching Competition gold medalist Tank Hardstock falls for Lacey Endicott, he must learn to acclimate to a society that does not consider a window-busting burp to be a compliment, until it turns out only his gastric prowess and a chili cheese dog can save the world from the zombie menace.

    I forgot to put my info in my first entry, but it’s here now:

  39. Diana Murray

    In a bag of potato chips, Nathan discovers a chip so unusual that he is forced to travel to a distant potato farm where he digs up the truth about his destiny to lead the ancient Order of the Spud, but all eyes are watching, and some Spudarians aren’t convinced that Nathan deserves to be Top Tater.

  40. Sangay Glass

    When a severed middle finger is found on the beach,
    District Attorney, Chuck Upton, launches an investigation
    to find the victim, but after the lab declares the finger
    is a Halloween prop, Upton decides to create a heinous
    crime to save face in, “Chuck n’ the Bird, a crime thriller
    based on true events.

  41. Joe Giambrone

    A really big basketball star has the worst smelling feet in the NBA, and so he decides to quit basketball, become a scientist and discover the cure for athletes foot.

    A supercop is about to bring down the underground narcotics industry when he appears before a corrupt judge who instead orders him to complete his required year of kindergarten.

  42. M.J. Villegas

    A Keebler elf put on trial for treason after being found with forty empty boxes of Thin Mints, is exposed in court as a trans-elfual who dances at a strip club on weekends, while dressed as a Girl Scout.

    You’re So Vain, an autobiography written by a varicose vein about a life of humiliation that ensues after it stops pumping blood, turns bright purple and is ultimately covered by a hideous elastic knee-high stocking.

    MJ Villegas — sternchickatgmaildotcom

  43. Jeremie Guy

    After losing a pasta creating competition in Barilla, Italy, Mac R. Oni discovers he kneads to hop out the oven and into the operating room, but when he bites into the world of sugary things heat up and he starts seeing the similarities between body parts and pasta.

  44. R. Michael Phillips

    When the doorbell rang the excruciating pain you felt from those five days you spent together ten years ago sent chills up your spine, but you can’t turn back now; the stench of cigar lingers behind as he steps into the house– it’s Chuck Henderson, and he’s here to wallpaper your kitchen…again.

  45. Brian Buckley

    Marcus, a double amnesiac, has forgotten that he forgot everything and lives in a state of vague uncertainty; later, when the first (but not the second) amnesia spontaneously reverses itself, he is forced to reconcile a full lifetime of memories with the unshakable conviction that he does, in fact, have some sort of amnesia.

    When Erica learns she is the protagonist in a work of fiction, she gets revenge on the author by deliberately living as boring a life as possible, to hurt the book’s sales; but when the author retaliates by shifting focus to another character, can she convince the new protagonist to also be boring in time to ruin the plot?

    (I’m not on Twitter, I don’t have a blog, and I’d prefer to keep my Facebook page private, so I guess this is an "unofficial" entry.)

  46. angela

    The Gout Connection

    Brian is a podiatrist consumed by an oral foot fetish, whose lust for a mouthful costs him everything, culminating in him reinventing himself as a retirement home orderly determined to atone for past misdeeds…until being put in charge of sponge baths for the coma ward threatens to unravel his depravities once more.

  47. Jane Lebak

    After a lifetime of misery, poverty and pain caused by perpetually lost or misfiled paperwork, Ann Onymous dies only to learn that because the priest forgot to file her baptismal certificate, God is sending her to Hell.

  48. Bill Giovannetti

    After getting eliminated from his first reality TV show, and getting suckered into the wrong woman on his second reality TV show, Jason “Nice Guys Finish Last” Jaxson stumbles into reality show hell when he sprains his ankle on his third reality TV show, proving that it takes more than six pack abs to successfully dance with the stars.

  49. Elizabeth MacKinney

    3001: A Space Oddity

    When Earth, now populated entirely by attorneys, sends a ship of special prosecutors into space to find the alien civilization responsible for life to sue for damages since mankind is a failed venture, they are arrested for flying infractions in the Horsehead Nebula where the crew is held without bond for one thousand years.

  50. Sherry Auger

    2. The duck who couldn’t quack tried and tried to learn to quack, he was slow at everything, he was afraid of the water, he couldn’t fly, the one thing he was good at everytime and grossed everyone out was when he tried to quack he farted instead.

  51. Sherry Auger

    Bridgett Bunny breaks Mom’s favorite bauble so Mrs. Bunny breaks Bridgett’s Barbie Bunny Bank, GP Gopher hears this and tries to exploit it for another golden headlight award, but Mrs. Bunny bops GP Gopher in the nose, then buys Bridgett anothr Barbie Bunny Bank,Bridgett glues moms bauble back together and breaks her father out of farmer smellyfeet’s trap.

  52. Danielle Rollins

    When Ripley, a vampire, takes up River Dance to numb the pain of biting his beloved, he meets Clementine, an irish zombie dancer whose veins run dry–but then the government develops a method of “re-blooding” zombies and Ripley is forced, once again, to face the horror of a vein throbbing with tempting blood in the woman he loves.

  53. Steve Forti

    1. After losing her title at the International Envelop Sealing Championships, Pearl Tuck is determined to train her way back to the top, no matter how many popsicles and stamps she has to lick along the way, until a tragic incident with a frozen lamp post threatens her taste for victory.

    2. Tired of being in the shadow of Thor and his mighty hammer, lesser-known brother Charlie swears that his tool – the rake – is far superior, and sets out to prove it by tirelessly clearing the leaves off all the lawns in the Rolling Meadows retirement community.

  54. Jennifer Jones

    "Be Careful What You Wish For"
    After spritzing herself with a mysterious perfume sample, unappreciated magazine assistant Gracie Morris wakes up exactly five minutes in the future, only to find that little, if anything has changed.

  55. Lisa C.

    On her never-ending quest to save Americans from the evil organization Soap Scum, Agent A. Jax stumbles on a shocking domestic terrorist plot to detonate a "clean bomb," thus eradicating the Office of Germ Czar and effectively wiping out her job; yet she can’t deny a certain nonabrasive chemistry between herself and the intoxicating anarchist, known only as Mr. Klean.

  56. juliette r.

    A slaughterhouse employee with increasing dementia helps her coworker, Chuck, run his illegal underground business of making and selling faux-vegan pet food to pet stores, only to have things get complicated when her jealous boyfriend, the manager of her trailer park, literally puts his nose where it doesn’t belong.

  57. Bill Breedlove

    Burt, Lacey and Luther are experts, respectively, with the shotgun, chainsaw and flamethrower who discover an alien invasion of earth is underway where the aliens have taken the form of puppies, and so, with the clock ticking, they must use every bit of their specialized talents to kill all the puppies and save the earth.

  58. Anders Bylund

    "Band On the Run: A collegiate marching band stumbles across a time machine in the dressing room of the Rose Bowl. Lead trombonist Julius Cheeseman is mistaken for the Roman emperor and chased through the streets of ancient Rome by furious gladiators and brown-nosing legionnaires — until the beautiful third flutist saves the day with a timely solo."

    "Too Many Elvises: Elvis Costello fakes his own death and moves to Tibet, where he plots to assassinate the Dalai Lama and take his place. His devious designs are thwarted by visiting Rhodes Scholar Thelma Lagerlof, and the unlikely couple is eventually married in Las Vegas by the real Elvis Presley posing as an Elvis Costello impersonator."