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New Challenge: Can You Spoof-Reject Romeo & Juliet in One Sentence?

Categories: WD Mag Wednesday, Writing Opportunities, Writing Prompts.

In one of our newest (and most staff-beloved) features of WD magazine, Reject a Hit, we’ve called on you to conjure up clueless editors of yesteryear and write humorous rejections of successful books. (Check out an example here.)

As the recurring intro to the page goes, “Let’s step once again into the role of the unconvinced, perhaps even curmudgeonly or fool-hearted editor: What harsh rejection letters might the authors of some or our favorite hit books have had to endure?” 

Your submissions have been flooding in, and it’s become one of the most fun sections of the magazine to edit—often all it takes is one perfectly crafted line to send the office into writing geek hysterics.

Which makes us wonder: 

Can you Reject a Hit in just one sentence?

Just this once, we thought we might try a spin-off of the feature for possible publication in the magazine. Your assignment: 

Channel a short-sighted editor who’s missed the point, or poke fun at the absurdity of the publishing world, and craft a succinct spoof rejection of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet in just ONE sentence.

To give it a go, post your rejection in the Comments section below, or e-mail it, plus your name and city and state, to wdsubmissions@fwmedia.com by April 15 with “Reject a Hit: One Sentence” in the subject line.

Step into the velvet shoes of your worst Elizabethan editor, and put the bard in his place! It just might land you in WD.

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  8. I’m afraid I didn’t fall in love with the prose of ROMEO & JULIET as much as I should to offer representation at this time (it reads too much like an over-long poem), but if you do a rewrite, I suggest you consider reversing the gender roles and have Romeo drink the fake poison and Juliet stab herself, rather than the other way round (so that Juliet kills Paris in the duel), or rework to a more uplifting ending altogether so as not to glorify teen suicide; resubmit and I’ll take another look.

    R. King Kollman
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  10. Lacks emotional intensity.

  11. Margaret Bush says:

    Too much telling instead of showing, e.g. the dialogue scene at the balcony, the "Chorus" character, and so on.

  12. Might I humbly suggest changing your name to Debby Downer?

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  14. Dare Gaither says:

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  15. 2mara says:

    @billshkspr teen angst minus sparkly vampires=rejection okthnxbai

  16. Too depressing–where for art thou, Prozac?

  17. Brenda Kezar says:

    Due to legal reasons, we cannot publish stories involving the corruption of a minor.

  18. Jim Goodwin says:

    Sir, in this chronicle of errors, you omitted the largest – dipping your pen in the ink.

  19. Stacey says:

    You’re focusing on the wrong characters – the nurse and the friar would be much more believable as star-crossed lovers.

  20. Robert says:

    It’s only "romantic" because both kids die before they are old enough to start bitching about each other.

  21. By the time the main charcters die, I was hoping they would.
    – Veronika Walker

  22. D.M. Grace says:

    Mr. Shakespeare, Thou doth too greatly glorify the stupidity of love. – D.M. Grace

  23. Molly Ringle says:

    Iambic pentameter is no longer in, but consider resubmitting if you update your story to include text messaging.

  24. Myles Moffit says:

    Because the overripe plot about under-ripe characters has been used by greater writers, one can hope that this is the last time.

  25. Leanne Beattie says:

    Too much angst, not enough vampires.

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