Monday Matchup Writing Challenge: A honeymoon, a new pet, a handful of money, and a hospital.

The Honeymooners

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Write a scene from a couple’s honeymoon involving a new pet, a handful of money, and a hospital.

Want more writing prompts and exercises? Brian Kiteley has packed more than 200 wildly original ones into his 3 A.M. Epiphany. Check it out here.


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6 thoughts on “Monday Matchup Writing Challenge: A honeymoon, a new pet, a handful of money, and a hospital.

  1. nizhuce

    tampa bay buccaneers

  2. Robin Leonard

    "The Honeymooners"

    A month before Carl and Linda got married; he gave Linda a beautiful white poodle named Henri as his wedding gift to her.
    It was hard for the newly weds to decide where to go for the honeymoon. Linda didn’t want to leave Henri with anyone so they decided to go to Cape Cod, take Henri, and rent a cottage for a week. Sounded like fun for all.
    The first days went well for the honeymooners. Henri was the epitome of good dog and they were enjoying their time with each other.
    However, on day three Carl went into the bathroom, and found the rug was soaked. He called Linda. She came in and picked up the rug to wash it and found that Henri and peed all over it. If that wasn’t bad enough, on the fourth night, Henri jumped on Carl’s side of the bed and pooped by his feet.
    The next morning after the poop by the feet incident, Carl and Linda had a major fight over Henri. Carl wanted to go home; Linda wanted to stay. Carl told Linda he hated Henri and it was the worse mistake he ever made giving her that dog.
    The honeymooners made up and decided that they would stay the rest of the week and keep Henri in the kitchen until they went home.
    It was now day five. Henri was left in the kitchen, no harm done there, except a spilled water bowl. But, late that night somehow Henri got out of the kitchen, ran upstairs, and jumped on Carl who was sound asleep.
    Carl started yelling and Linda leapt out of bed and turned on the light. Carl ripped his pajama bottom off and had Henri almost in a headlock. Linda is screaming. Henri had bitten Carl in the butt. Carl’s butt was raw and bleeding badly from the dog bite. Linda said they needed to go to the hospital. She bandaged his wound but it still bled. Poor Carl is in agony; he can’t sit and is swearing profusely at Henri and Linda. Linda drove to emergency. Henri’s in his crate in the rear of the Jeep, constantly barking. They get to the hospital and Carl hobbles in with Linda’s help. Henri is left in the car.
    The police arrive at the hospital on another matter and hear Henri barking in the car. It’s a hot summer night, and Henri is panting hard. The cops asked around who owns the poodle in the Jeep. Carl and Linda confess ownership. Carl is now flushed with rage and pain and doesn’t care what Linda says or thinks; he said to the cop “I’ll pay you to get that mutt out of my life” and handed him a fist full of cash and the car keys. “I need the keys back.” Carl moaned.
    Carl was arrested for bribing a cop, Linda for leaving Henri in a hot car.

  3. Marcella Simmons

    "Just Married"
    By Marcella Simmons

    Arriving in New Orleans on the plane, Timmy and his new bride Sandy went outside the terminal to hail a taxi to take them to their motel. A pregnant woman standing beside the curb. "Oh, please," said the woman. "I am in labor. Will you let me have this cab. OHHHHH!" she screamed. "My baby is coming!"

    A taxi pulled up. The young woman asked, "Can you come with me. Please come with me. My little dog Misty is scared, too," she said, handing the tiny white poodle to Sandy.

    "We really need to get to our motel," Timmy insisted, wanting only to be alone with his new bride.

    "But, Honey, we can’t just leave her," Sandy said, feeling really sorry for the young woman bent over with labor pains. "We have to go to the hospital with her. Besides, who will care for her little puppy?"

    Sandy helped her into the cab. "She needs to get to the Emergency Room ASAP! She’s fixing to have a baby!" Sandy screamed at the cab driver.

    "It’s coming! My baby is coming!" the woman shouted. Sandy climbed in the seat beside her and helped her lie down. Timmy climbed in the front seat and she handed him the poodle.

    Sandy held the woman’s hand. "Just hang in there! We’ll be at the hospital in a few minutes. My name is Sandy Adams and this is my new husband Timmy."

    "I’m Michelle. Oh no – another contraction!" she yelled. "It’s coming!" she screamed.

    "Tell her not to push," the cab driver yelled over the seat.

    The driver speeded up and what seemed like only a few seconds they were pulling up at the hospital emergency room. He jumped out and ran in the double doors. Sandy continued to hold Michelle’s hand. Timmy said, "I just wanted this to be the best honeymoon of all time. I figured something would louse it up!" he complained in the front seat.

    "Oh, shut up, Timmy," Sandy retorted to her new husband.

    Two interns ran out with a stretcher and helped Michelle onto it.

    Just as they were rushing her through the double doors the baby was born. The intern held onto it as they shoved the stretcher into a room off to the side. A few moments later, a baby’s cry was heard. "It’s a girl!" the intern said as Sandy ran in.

    The cab driver poked his head in the door. "Who is paying for the cab fair?" he asked.

    Michelle raised up and said, "Sandy, look in my purse and give him that little bag of money." Sandy walked over and found fourteen dollars in change in the woman’s purse.

    "My husband will pay it, Sir. He’s waiting in the hall."

    Timmy was pacing in the hall when the cab driver walked out. "Sir, I’ll need cab fair for the three of you."

    Irritated and frustrated that his honeymoon had been blown out of proportion, he handed the driver the money. The little dog licked him on the cheek.

  4. Rowena Angel

    "So where do we turn?"

    "Turn left right here."

    "Left or right?"

    "Left silly." She laughed, running her fingers through his hair.

    He took a quick glance at her and smiled. This would be their first dinner alone as hubby and wife.

    "Honey look out!" She screamed.

    He turned his eyes back to the road just in time to see an extremely large cow standing a few feet in front of them.

    "Holy shit!" He slammed on the breaks. They could smell the tires burning as the jeep began to slide in all the wrong directions. He worked to keep from flipping the car and not hitting the cow. They finally came to a stop, parallel parked within a couple of inches of Bessy.

    "Way to go honey."

    "Why is there a cow in the middle of the road?"

    "What’s that awful smell?" She put her hand over her nose and mouth.

    "I think the cow just took a dump."

    The cow stood still, ignoring the jeep and the two people in it.

    "Ok, farm boy, how do we make the cow move so we can get to our restaurant on time?"

    "That’s a whole lot easier said than done." He turned off the jeep and climbed out. "At least it’s a girl. Let’s see if I can gently push her out of our way."

    "Need some help?" Since Bessy was practically in her lap, she stood up, stepped on the driver’s seat and jump out of the car.

    "No, stay back. I don’t want you to get stepped on or kicked." He walked around the front of the cow so he could be on her right side away from the car.

    "Should I move the jeep?" She asked.

    "No, leave it." He touched the cow’s shoulder as he came around her.

    "Ok lady how about you move out of the way for us?" He gave her a shove about mid-back trying to push her forward. Bessy just snorted at him.

    "Sarah, stay away from her back end."

    "Didn’t you hear that?"

    "Hear what? Hey wait." He gave up trying to move Bessy.

    "There’s something behind her. It sounds like a puppy."

    "A cow with a puppy in the middle of the road, you’ve got to be kidding me."

    "No, I’m not. Look." She started to step behind the cow.

    "Stop! I’ll get it." He slowly walked to the back end of Bessy and discovered what looked like a Corgi puppy. The puppy howled when he touched it. "Looks like it might have a broken leg."

    Just as he picked up the puppy, Bessy moved forward towards the open field.

    "There’s no one around for miles." She gently took the puppy from him.

    "Well, guess dinner’s off. How about we find a hospital instead?"


    "Does this mean we’re keeping her?"

    "Him. Yes."

    They climbed back into the jeep and headed for town. The puppy sound asleep on her lap.

  5. Mark James

    Nathan . . . that was too funny

    Blake stopped what he was doing, looked over his shoulder. Of all the dead-end alleys in town, they had to find this one. The guy’s arm was wrapped so tight around her, Blake’s shadow wouldn’t have fit between them. He rolled the body deeper into the dark, got to his feet, cleared his throat. Nothing. “You kids lost?”

    “Four hours,” the girl said.

    “Four hours, thirty nine minutes, and,” the guy checked his watch, “twenty seconds.”

    Newlyweds. Either it was Blake’s night to be cursed or God was playing a joke. “Where you two headed?” he said.

    “Karl lost his wallet,” the girl said. “We had to walk back to the hotel.”

    “I didn’t lose it.” Karl looked at Blake. “Tell her a man can’t keep track of a beautiful girl and money at the same time,” he said.

    “Here.” Blake reached into the breast pocket of his jacket, slid his hand slowly past his gun. No mistakes. No problems. No more bodies. He took out his wallet, grabbed a handful of money, and stepped into the light coming from the main street. “My wedding gift,” he said. “You kids get going. Shouldn’t be out late in this part of town.”

    Behind Blake, the man who should have been dead moaned.

    Karl peered into the dark. “Somebody hurt?” he said.

    “No one you need to worry about.” Blake made himself smile at the new bride. “What do they call a girl as pretty as you?”

    She took her husband’s hand, pulled him back a step. “Chloe.”

    Blake didn’t know women still had names like that. “My brother’s sick,” he said. “Drinks too much, you know?” He shifted his gaze to Karl. “Why don’t you and your wife go get a cab?”

    “I’m a doctor,” Karl said. “Does he need to go to a hospital?”

    The newlywed who had about ten seconds to live tried to move past Blake, but Chloe roped him in so hard, he stumbled back. “Let’s go,” she said. “Something’s wrong.”

    Smart girl.

    “Chloe.” Karl took her by the shoulders. “I can’t just leave. What if he needs help?”

    “You enjoying your honeymoon?” Blake said.

    Karl turned to him and broke into a smile that made him look way too young to be even out of med school. “Best four hours and,” he snapped a glance at his watch, “forty four minutes of my life.”

    It had been years since Blake hesitated, but that sloppy smile was too much. “My car’s the black one at the curb.” He took out his keys. “Drive him back to the hotel. Leave my car out front.”

    Karl tilted his head. “They’ll tow it,” he said.

    “No one tows my car.” Blake tossed the keys to Chloe. “You can keep the white kitten.” He glanced over his shoulder. “He’s an orphan.”

    Chloe took the keys. Blake was turning back into the alley, thinking of how he could finish the job faster than they could tell their story, when Chloe said, “What’s the kitten’s name?”

    Blake looked back at her. “Lucky.”

  6. Nathan Honore

    The first flight of the honeymoon landed. Jim desperately needed to "take a piss" and Beth needed to "freshen up." They searched for their respective lavatories. Jim reached his bathroom first after seeing a Hispanic Freddy Mercury. He had the moustache, the lips, even a white beater. Freddy was handing the leash of his tiny, highly drop-kickable dog to a security guard. The guard pointed towards a sign and walked away. The urinal was clean, but the dividers were too close together. Jim was forced to push his shoulders forward and together, creating the image that he was straining to do something else. It was uncomfortable for all involved.

    Beth went on her merry way, feigning comfort, as she desperately needed to unleash. As she passed a sign that read "No Dogs Past This Point," Beth saw a tiny chalupa sized Chihuahua. Its leash tied to the sign, the canine’s eyes looking bored and a little hungry. Beth decided she would do her business, then come back and stay with the abandoned dog.

    Upon exiting the bathroom, Jim let out a rather alpha-male sigh of satisfaction. He meandered for a few minutes, thinking that women always take longer in the crapper than men. Jim stopped for a minute, crossing his arms like he was waiting for Beth in the dressing room of Old Navy, that is to say, impatiently. Then his eye caught about a handful of American dollars not twenty feet away. “It must have fallen out of my pocket,” he reasoned to himself. “How many other Americans are there here?” There were many, many Americans in the airport. So Jim sauntered towards the money. As he was about to pick up the money, some passer-by kicked it another ten feet away. Then another kick, and another. It was straight out Fistful of Dollars. Yet Jim kept putting his head down, reaching each time.

    Beth washed her hands (Jim didn’t) and headed towards the little Chihuahua, not forgetting it’s disproportionally large eyes. She approached the dog carefully and in her most annoying dog voice she said,” Hewo my wittle Chiwawa! Aren’t you the cuuuutest?” Beth had been told many-a-time to knock off that voice by her new husband Jim. He had no patience for such things. The Chihuahua suddenly perked up, looking almost through Beth. It let out a surprisingly large burst of strength, lurching forward, causing the poorly tied leash to come loose of the sign. Beth jumped up as the no longer cute puppy dashed through her legs. She chased it.

    Jim was so close. Beth was so close. However, their paths had met…along with their heads. Jim was bent over, the money in his grasp when Freddie Mercury’s dog ran under his squatted rear. Beth tripped and lunged for the dog head first, straight into Jim’s skull.

    They came to in the local hospital. The newly weds were put in the same room, feet apart. Jim looked at his blushing bride saying, “How was the bathroom?”